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My partner was murdered

Community Member
In January 2024 my partner of almost 17 years was murdered. I don't know how to live without him. We have 3 beautiful children so I no I need to keep it together for them but I am just dying on the inside. I find it so hard to believe.... the last time we saw him he was dropping us off at the train station to go to visit my mum for new year and we were meant to get picked up by him from the train statiom at 2pm on the 2nd instead I woke to messages saying there were heaps of police and ambulances at my house. I tried to call my partner franticly but no answer so I started watch my security camera. I could see all the police and that my house was taped off and I could see the forensic people in there blue suits taking photos. I then got a call from a detective asking where I was and if the kids were with me and that they were sending some one to talk to me but wouldn't tell me what was going on. It took them 4 hours to get to me. Then I was tagged in a fb post on the police page that stated a man had been found unresponsive at an address on our street and that it was a homicide investigation. I just started screaming my kids came running from all different directions so I had to instantly try to pull myself together I couldn't tell them yet. My kids and myself have now been homeless for the past 10 weeks today as we obviously couldn't return home. We are so lucky to have amazing friends who have taken us in but we just need our own space to grieve and start to rebuild but I also have no idea how to do that. All I want is to wake up and for him to be back I miss him so much and I'm just so lost and broken without him.
2 Replies 2

Hi Weeping_widow, 

A big welcome to the forums, we thank you for having the bravery to share your story here. We are so sorry to hear about what happened to your partner, it sounds like you’ve had an incredibly difficult time. We can understand you’d be feeling a range of emotions; rage, sadness and tiredness. Grief has no set pattern, and everyone experiences grief differently. Experiencing all of this while parenting your children sounds hugely demanding, so please know that you’ve come to a safe, non-judgmental and supportive space to talk about this.  

Are you connected with any bereavement or mental health support currently? This is obviously an incredibly painful time, and it’s really important you and your family are supported through it. If you could use some more support, please have a look at the advice and directories on the Beyond Blue website here. We'd highly recommend talking to Griefline, on 1300 845 745 (6am to midnight AEST every day). We’d also recommend looking up the Parentline number for your state or territory, as they’ll be able to work through some of the stressors of parenting and finding appropriate housing during this time.  

Please know that you're not alone with this, you can call the Beyond Blue helpline at any time, on 1300 22 4636. They can help you talk this through and will also be able to help you plan what's next so that you have that support in place. Reaching out is so important for those moments when you don’t know what to do.  We hope you're able to be kind to yourself through this, as you've been so kind in sharing your experience here. We can imagine some of your feelings at the moment, we know this must be an isolating experience but we want you to know that we are all here for you and you are showing incredible strength, resilience and love. We hope you can see how inspirational this is and feel some pride despite how difficult it is at the moment.

Kind regards,  

Sophie M  

Community Member

I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine the level of your grief, despair, and stress right now. Can the police recommend a grief counsellor. Possibly your local women's refuge can help you with resources, both practical and emotional. Are you in NSW? THere is a government department that provides support and it's called Victim's Services. I daresay other states and territories would have similar. They will likely have counselling services that will benefit you and the children.