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Community Member

3 weeks ago I had a miscarriage. I was only 3 weeks pregnant. Is it silly for me to grieve? I've never experienced this type of loss before. The situation on how I fell pregnant isn't great and the dad of the baby didn't respond well and as a result we haven't talked properly about it. He doesn't know that I miscarriaged (we are not togther). I initially said I didn't want the baby (in which I feel terrible in saying that) I already have children (not to that person) but have no idea if I have hurt his feelings. He has a child already and is raising them on his own. I don't know what to do. 2 people close to me know that I have miscarriaged. But I don't feel like I should grieve about it. I feel silly that I'm sad and upset over something I didn't want. 

3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello SizzleW

I am sorry for the loss of your baby.

People can experience grief for any type of loss in their lives. There are no rules about grief & how to grieve.

I can imagine you had ideas in your mind about the life growing inside, & you had begun to prepare for. That won't happen now. That is a loss of what your future may have been, loss of expectations.

Could this baby have been a sibling to your children?

Did you imagine the baby's father would respond more positively?

These are things you may be grieving. 


Since you & the man are not together, you have no obligation to tell him. If you see him, are around him regularly. in time he'll realise you are not pregnant because you will not be showing any outward signs of being pregnant. Maybe, so to ward off him accusing you of never havin been pregnant then I would suggest telling him sooner rather than waiting for him to notice. But if you don't see him around where you live, then & because his response to you was unsupportive, I'd wonder just what sort of response he would give to hear of your miscarriage? & what sort of response to you want?

It's a difficult situation. I'm not surprised you feel confused.

If you know of people you feel will support you, then these are the people to talk to.

There is also a service called Griefline, & their phone number is: 1300 845 745, between 8am - 8pm, 7 days/wk.

Try to be kind & gentle with yourself. Your grief is not silly, but very real.



Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear SizzleW…


I’m so sorry sweetheart that you a miscarriage, whether it’s 3 weeks, 3 months or longer in a pregnancy, miscarriage at any time can be heartbreaking and grieving for the loss of your unborn child is not being silly, it’s being a compassionate and caring human being…


I think it’s up to you, if you want to tell the father of the child you had a miscarriage or not..


Please, be very gentle and caring towards yourself….you’re a beautiful person and deserve your self care/love…


My kindest thoughts Dear SizzleW.


Community Champion
Community Champion


Im sorry fir your loss and you will grieve. There is an organisation called pink elephants who you can call if you want to talk to someone. 

Don’t feel sad you have suffered a loss and grieve if you need to. 
take care.m