Hi everyone
I've expressed my views at the beginning of this thread about anniversaries. Let me give you a good example of this as the topic came up at xmas lunch between my sister and I.
Our beautiful father passed on at 64 years of age in 1992. He was 110 days from his 65th birthday (more on that later) and I always remembered his passing was in April as I had resigned from Telstra immediately after his death. The exactdate I had no desire to recall.
Last year I turned 64yo and wanted to know how dad felt (age wise) around the age he passed on so asked my sister what was the date. She was astounded I didnt ever recall it and told me it was April 14th 1992. She said "its the one day every year that I feel sad and down effectively in grief".
So December 10th came along and I was 110 days before my 65th birthday, the same age to the day my dad passed away. I took some moments to reflect upon how physically I felt on that day. That was it, over, no more reflection on the day.
Christmas lunch and the topic came up. My sister asked how I felt that day and told her. eg he was very young at 64 to pass on etc. She asked if I felt grief and my answer was, "sad but not grief". She was again astounded. I then began to explain how my thinking process works, albeit so different to hers.
Regular readers will know that I have several poems I've written about my father. Those were the times my grief was at its peak. Being 28 years ago it happens far less often. I chose a long time ago to grief when I felt like it not based on days, years, hours etc that coincide only on time. Time is irrelevant to me as (previously explained) that is only when the earth is at a certain point to the sun, it isnt like anything magical happens on the minute, hour day and month of time of an anniversary.
The question of this thread is - "Do you remember a sad anniversary and if so why or why not?"
Now I concede that if a major trauma occured in my life, I'd recall the month the year after. EG, when my first marriage folded I recall it being February, handy when you need 12 month separation to file for a divorce !. It is also a a feeling of getting over a mental "hump" so it helps to move on better. That' all well and good for those that want to do that.
However, in comparison to my sister that has grieved for 28 years on the same day - 14th April, I have not. I've grieved when my mind fills with those loving memories in a natural way not base on time, a man made thing.
TonyWK
