Hi Platitudes
I believe you are perfectly entitled to feel sorry/sorrow for your self regarding all your loss. I believe we do lose aspects of our self along with the people we lose.There is significant disappointment in this way. One may say 'I have always appointed myself the role of he/she who sees my dad on a regular basis or relies on talking with him'. When that role we play in life ceases to exist, that part of us is suddenly dis-appointed. How to cope with such a disappointment? What role can we take on in it's place? Some people may appoint them self to a non physical relationship: They may still speak to their dad while imagining what their dad would say in return, in that conversation. This new role/relationship brings them comfort and even joy.
Questioning your depression is naturally intelligent, as a part of you is looking for understanding.
We can look at depression from a clinical point of view as interactive chemistry and thought. We can also look at it from another point of view. From a natural perspective, we can find our self graduating down into a depression. It can be like a step by step process that can take us deeper with each potentially depressing event. Raising our self out of a depression can also involve a graduation process. If you were to ask someone who came out of a depression how they did it, they may possibly say 'I raised myself step by step'. Example: 1st step was to acknowledge being in the depression, 2nd was to seek higher levels of consciousness/understanding (through therapy perhaps), 3rd step may have involved pinpointing certain challenges to begin rising to in everyday life (including perhaps cutting them self off from folk who put them down regularly), 4th - experiencing a sense of personal empowerment and effective management and...the graduation list goes on. One may say they reach solid ground. Others may say the have learned to not simply stop at finding solid ground: Whilst they become balanced through grounding, they continue to seek regular natural highs in life. They become like responsible adult kids in ways of excitement, healthy risk taking, adventure and so on.
Each step up, in the graduation process, is a particular challenge we face. Identifying each challenge and rising in our efforts to get on top of it is exactly what gradually raises us to the next step and then the next. This may seem like a never ending process in life and that is because we never stop rising to meet life in new ways.
🙂
