Your MI (Mental Illness) / Issues. What goes on?

[demonblaster]

Hey 🙂

I think it's important for people, everyone to know what struggles there are with MI & any issues that people go through for hopefully understanding & support. Could create more tolerance in society. We NEED a voice

Hoping people would like to contribute here to what you have to deal with for understanding & learning.

I'm Bipolar, done a fair whack of research & deep thought. I believe with want & determination this can be beaten, worse scenario getting emotional control which I think although mammoth is the key to our survival and reaching peace from the beast.(Depression)

Diagnosed Type 1 & 2. There's others (later)
Type 1- more likely not necessarily to have visual & auditory hallucinations, grand deur, delusions. The highs (mania) are very high.
Type 2 - slightly elevated mood (mania, but OH SOOOO GOOD too) There's more depression Deep, recently heard there's far more suicide attempts than any other MI with BP (Bipolar, or BPD - Disorder & heard from Psychiatrist too staggering, something like 6 in 10 people attempt. The downs are horrific. Absolute HELL as most here understand that pain. I attempted in teens 4 times and really wanted out. Clearly failed 🙂 & glad I did, since loss of partner recently has been an option but now outta equation, I'm gunna get this, pulled me down all life. Many people get it around teens yrs or common later in life. Stress induced?
Some can have one episode in their life and be BP. I'm more than a rapid cycler that is 4 or more a yr. I have 8-10 major cycles (episodes)

MANIA: BLOODY MAGIC!!! You feel sooo damned good, pure utter happiness, confidence, self assured, promiscuity, erratic over spending,reckless,ideas flood with such clarity, your mind keeps up at rapid pace, unbelievable (moreso super fast in type 1), projects, belief, energy, motivation, determined, ALL tools for success, but think the brain knows it can't keep pace up for long is why it all slams at once, OH & sleep, nah can do so many all niters without and booming with energy, I get some never enough through meds. NO BODY ON THIS EARTH DOESN"T WANNA FEEL THIS WAY, Gift from God with devils pricetag.

DEPRESSION: For most it's heavy & before cycles, I get both worse on coming down, WOW, complete opposite. DEEP as. So hard to cope, the exhaustion from it all is mighty, use to hit the wall and it'd keep pushing but got highs down over yrs but still takes wks for recovery.

More to say but later.

Thx 4 time/listening & contributing if so 🙂

[Unbeliever]

Hehe yeah...

The "20 years ago, who thought too much and was little too intense at times, but had his moments" guy.

That's the guy they miss...

[demonblaster]

But believer you've gotta have the goods now for them to continue liking/loving you. You need to see them though, the goods. I think it's one of our starting blocks to get back up is to like ourselves, depression makes us blaghh ourselves aye

[demonblaster]

DEPRESSION:

God it's powerful, pulls ya down in every way possible, you feel smothered in complete heavy deep sadness, can't see any light, nothing good in life, it just keeps you in a dark place like a heavy dark blanket over you.
Many with depression are sensitive, low self esteem. I'm getting there over the yrs but can take yrs to get back, people don't help but there's always beautiful ones too.

It buries our strength, we've all got it I believe.

IT takes away hope, desire, want, anything that can pull us up it squashes.

You wanna coccoon, doesn't make ya feel you're worthy & constant nags, the negative thoughts are repetitious, constant habit forming down thinking.

IT's powerful but so are we to get back up.

[meercat]

Hello Demonblaster. How r u going?Just catching up. Looking back at ur post 10 oct. I see you do have an amazing understanding of how ur feeling.

One month later im in a better place..not quite comfortable but getting there.

Over the past month Iv been through the dopey stage, the i can do anything stage and now im in a holding pattern getting things done in a "sensible" way. Is there such a thing with bp?

Been on a virtual fantasy shopping spree, cars, caravans, houses. Always moving, fast thoughts. I like winning all the trivia shows when my brain is in top gear.

Thank goodness iv little spare money. there's a frenzy travel sale tnight. just think what chaos i cd bring into my life! Now feeling more sensible, im meeting a local friend through Nabo for coffee soon. A good sign? Its been sooo long since i had a real friend. I usually hide from society and just keep to myself. How about u?

meercat xx

[demonblaster]

Hey

Yeah goin ok atm ups/downs but same inbetween atm

Good you're in neutral atm, relief aye

Takes wks to recover

[tasha78]

Hi I was wondering if I could get your opinion please about what my mood disorder could be,,, I have joy not mania and then for no reason in the same day will get depression n it puts me down on the couch for a couple of hrs then in back to joy again. this happens to me daily and has been happening for about 2 yrs now. It s driving me crazy and advice or help will be greatly appreciated

[demonblaster]

Hi Tash welcome, thx for coming in here

Yikes daily, poor thing, don't blame ya drivin ya crazy.
Bipolar as far as I know comes in cycles

Whatever I say is only what I think, a professional would be better to talk to starting with GP 🙂

I've done a fair whack of research on different sites and insight but long way off knowing it all not that I probs ever will
It's complicated in that there's mammoth stuff that goes on and also apart from the two types, 1 & 2, (heard but don't know if theres a 3 as well, but haven't heard anything since) there's off shoots I guess is the word, like mixed episodes, high and low like you're talking about, some have only depression poor buggas & other stuff too

Another big factor with BP is because everyone's different how we are during the episodes (cycles) we react to them differently.

How do you sleep, it savagely attacks it, seems to feed off lack of, same with depression
Do your emotions shoot into overdrive?

Something I've noticed, sooo much to try and control is the more I try to pull up outta the downs it can bring on mania which is wayyyyyy better but more to hack and harder on the downs as a result of.
So when you're down do you try to pull up or does it just change

There's various tests (can't think what they're called) to see if you have depression for example same for BP and other stuff, there's one here it's called K 10? for depression. So if you google maybe Bipolar tests or similar that could give you an indication. Don't take the result as bible they say then take to GP who can suss

So yeah moods, High/low, sleep, I think the big in BP is the mania, untold stuff goes on BUT again not 100% that you do/don't have it.

Good luck hun with finding out, hear ya about it

Hope you find out sooner than later, it was a relief to know, cause then I was able to work on it research understand. Hard to get on top of something if we don't know what it is aye

be interested to know how ya go darl, gl 🙂

[-headintheclouds-]

Um... I'm not BP, and some of my friends, or friends of friends are, but I think this kis really great, this thread.

My MI:

General Anxiety Disorder

Also a little of social anxiety, but mainly just panicking over the smallest silliest things - I mean like when the bus is late, or that one notch higher when it comes to school tests/exams, and driving tests (I'm still on my Ls). Panic attacks often last 2 - 10 mins, and I hate being told to calm down when it happens, cuz it honestly doesn't work. When I'm feeling trapped/panicky, I seem to chew my nails.

Severe Clinical Depression

Severe lows, suicidal ideation & self-harm, the whole shoot and match. On anti-depressants as of late August/early September, changed from dissolvable oral tablets to just normal oral tablets because of horrible side effects (no energy, low concentration - which hasn't really gotten better, + more). Apparently I'm good at hiding how depressed I am (which is a really bad thing) so people don't notice until physical signs start appearing. Has given me moderate insomnia as well, which sucks 😞

Dissociative Disorder

When my mind decides my current position and world/environment is too unbearable, it sort of logs out to protect itself from the horribleness. Basically, there's two forms of my DD:

1) I can still function 'properly' - talking (barely), eating (not a lot), drinking, walking, going to school, taking notes (not compreheding), etc., but I don't remember anything that happened for that period of time. Longest episode: 1 month

2) I basically shut down. Think comatose (sometimes) / unresponsive. I will sit and not respond to any stimuli, and won't 'come back' until my mind decides it's ready. I don't eat, won't drink (unless water is forced down my throat), mainly staring into nothing but blinking. I might do a repetitive action (ie scratching, drawing circles with a pencil). Longest episode: 1 day. Had an episode at school once (they were aware of my mental state & how to deal with it) & they handled it really badly - my dad wanted to sue, but I have to finish yr 12 there, so he didn't

So yea. Good fun 🙂

[demonblaster]

Hi thanks Clouds and welcome 🙂

Sounds rough, you certainly have a lot to deal with

What should the school have done in your dissociative disorder? (DD)

bbl

[demonblaster]

Cloud that's rough what you go through. The minds amazing protecting us

2) When you shut down are you still aware of what's going on around you?
1) Seems you are

Do you think anxiety brings it on?

Thankyou for sharing 🙂