YOU CAN DO IT: Recovery from major depression

[goblues]

When I had major depression I wanted to learn from people who had experienced it and recovered. I am such a person and I write this in case it will give you hope.

Let me start by telling you how sick I was before describing my current life and aspects of my journey.

When I was 26, my life was derailed my major depression. I had been a hard working and ambitious professional with a high paying job and a bright future. Depression surfaced after personal and professional disappointments and loomed as insomnia, loss of appetite and disinterest in life. Ultimately, I was so depressed I was unable to cope at work and eventually found myself in a mental health facility. During this time, I experienced psychosis, mania (that has resulted in me being diagnosed/labeled as bipolar although the mania lasted 24 hours) and OCD in spite of being medicated. Back then holistic help for a mentally unwell person like me was hard to find. I was out of work for about 6 months and when I got back to work, I realized that the work was unrewarding and that depression had stigmatized me.

Today, 30 years later I can report on having a rewarding and fulfilling life. I have a very loving wife and two wonderful children. I enjoy my work very much, believe that I do a good job and am paid quite well. I am a fundamentally different person to the one I was 30 years ago and am proud of my achievements and ability to withstand adversity. Depression caused me to develop a value system that evolves around the notions of contribution and appreciation.

It has not been easy. During these 30 years, I have had times of severe emotional, social and professional distress. I have had acute OCD symptoms that have been successfully treated with CBT. I have taken medication all these years. I drink too much. Each day I manage myself to ensure that my emotional situation is balanced and does not adversely impact my colleagues or loved ones. Because I have a genetic predisposition, my children are also predisposed -- that is a sad reality.

When I was very sick, I felt anxious and neurotic and wondered whether I had a future. Your Doctor will tell you that he knows that you will recover and he is right. If you have any questions or want me to expand on anything, I can. If I can do it, you can too!

[White_Rose]

Dear Goblues

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I love your name, so apt.

Your story is terrific and I hope many people will read it and be inspired and start to believe they will get well again. It's a long, hard journey but how wonderful to get there. We all know that depression can do a U turn but when you have the tools and experience to manage this, your life stays well.

Perhaps you would can answer others who write in to this forum, many with stories similar to yours. It's great that you want to help and inspire others and I look forward to reading your posts in the future.

Mary

[white knight]

Hi Goblues,

A great positive outcome.

Can you tell me if you ever feel fragile? You appear confident like I am but I still constantly feel like my day will unravel and I'll fall down into a sad mess. In reality this doesn't occur very often.

I'd be interested in your answer.

Tony WK

[goblues]

Hi Mary:

Thanks for your note. For full disclosure, my anonymous name stems from being a Carlton Football Club tragic. Carlton's modest on-field success has not been a great inspiration to me!

Hopefully I can help others but I know that everyone's journey is unique. My only real point is that 30 years on I can tell you recovery is incredibly real and viable. Life is a wonderful thing.

[goblues]

Hi Tony:

Absolutely I feel confident that my mental illness is manageable. But it has taken me time to reach this level of confidence and for many years I was unsure whether I could and would be a loving partner, an effective colleague and a happy person. For a while I had exceedingly low confidence and self esteem and rebuilding has been slow, uneven and at times painful.

What gives me enormous confidence now and when I was desperately ill is the infinite number of ways in which we can recover. My recovery is no miracle -- it has been about finding a path that works and being prepared for the setbacks. And of course the journey is ongoing, frustrating, discouraging, rewarding and interesting!

[goblues]

Hi Mary:

Great that you're a community champion and thanks for the reply. There has been lack of response to my post and I wonder whether I have posted at right places and whether there is more I can do to get the message out. Thanks

[Chris_B]

Hi goblues, thanks so much for sharing your story.

Please don't be disheartened by the small number of responses to your thread. The vast majority of people on our forums read but never post (we have around 70,000 unique visitors through here per month at the moment), so there will be many people getting hope from your story that you don't know about.

What I can suggest for getting the message out further is to 'meet people where they are'. Sometimes when you're feeling really hopeless, even clicking into a thread about someone else's recovery might be too much for some. Have a read through the threads in these forums and offer your experiences and thoughts to those who are reaching out for support, you'll see from some of the responses on here that this can really make a difference to people.

Hope this helps.

[White_Rose]

Hello Goblues

Thanks for your replies. Your small number of replies is due, I suspect, to your very positive post. It takes a lot of energy to write in here at times, so I know I tend to put people who are not actually in trouble, down the list a little. As Chris has said, many people read these posts and get a lot of support and comfort that we rarely know. I know several people have joined BB after lurking around for a while, because they have said so in their first posts. It may be someone will decide to join the forum as a result of your story, but you will not necessarily know.

It would be really great if you joined other conversations and spread the good work of your life to others. Sounds like I am urging you to become a missionary. Come to think of it, I am. You can tell people from your own experience that they can survive and live happy lives.

Mary

[Myshelle]

Hi Goblues,

At the moment I am too low to write much but appreciate your post.

Thankyou

Michelle

[goblues]

Hi Michelle:

Sorry to hear that you're so low. I remember a therapist telling me at one of my lowest points that I would make his therapy look good. Why? When you're so low only place to go is up.

It is so hard for you, I feel for you, but better times are ahead.