Withdrawing from medication.. help?

[destiny]

I have rapid cycling bipolar and have been medicated for the past 5 years. A couple months ago I had gastric sleeve surgery as a result of the weight increase from all the medication and their wonderful weight increasing side effects. My psychiatrist was aware of this, but however due to covid we haven't had an in person consult since feb. I've lost over 20kg very quickly and this caused me to have a manic episode, I assume because the medication didn't get altered in time, when he was told I was manic by my mother he lowered my medication.

So a week later I had to go to the ER as I had a lot of uncontrolled movements in my face, arm and leg. ER dr thought I had developed tardive dyskinesia from my antipsychotics. I got an injection and sent on my way home. My psych and gp believes however I had developed Dystonia and came to the decision to stop all medication at once to stop the symptoms. I went the through the worst week of withdrawals, I don't even remember it. I'm at the end of week 2, the dystonia symptoms have totally stopped and I'm so miserable. I can't go back on anything just yet.

I'm having such a hard time controlling my bipolar. I just need some tips, I have one more week to go before we try new medication. All I want to do is sleep, but I haven't slept properly since this began. I don't want to be around people because the moment I start socialising I start winding up and getting over excited and talking gibberish or I'm incredibly rude. I'm paranoid because I feel like everyone thinks I'm manic and are looking as me as if I'm crazy. I do know a lot of this is still side effects from stopping cold turkey.

[smallwolf]

Hi. I am on medication but only for depression and anxiety. The only time I go medication was via tapering. So I cannot imagine what it would be like for you at this time. My dad was on a medication and was tapering off too fast - he went back to his GP and told them of the effects. I hope you can find some comfort and peace soon.

Tim

[therising]

Hi destiny

Wow, this must be so incredibly frustrating for you. A lot of what you've been through and are going through sounds like it involves somewhat of a waiting game, definitely a frustrating game to play at times.

Curious about the 'gibberish' and being rude. There are times where I find myself pretty hyped up and I would describe it as being super excited about topics that I'm enthusiastic in sharing, especially when I have some mind altering revelation. The life changing ones that really charge me up are what I love to share the most, in the hope they make a positive difference to others. Trouble is, others may not be as excited as me. I've heard the words 'You're talking rubbish' before today. This used to trigger me to anger and the thought 'You ungrateful closed minded so and so', which leads me to the topic of 'managing a filter system'...

When I'm being perceived as 'rude', in fact it's simply my intolerance being expressed. By the way, I regard myself as a pretty tolerant person. When I am triggered, I have to be super careful to have my filter system switched on. I could have someone saying to me 'You need to settle down!', when I'm naturally excited. While my filter system is switched on, leading me to simply roll my eyes, in my head is a conversation that goes a little like 'You god damned self opinionated low vibing ****ing thoughtless a******e!!!!!'. If I had no managed filter system, I guarantee this would easily come out of my mouth without a 2nd thought. The filter system is, at times, the 2nd thought. Sometimes I like to see it as inspiration. You know that 2nd thought or inspirational tip that sounds like 'No, don't do it! Stop, don't say it! You'll regret it'. It is so hard to pay attention to inspiration when someone is getting you worked up. Another one of my filters involves quietly venting. I vent through my breathing. Long breath out, concentrated breath in. Over and over without anyone really noticing, until I go from worked up to worked down (to a degree of calmness). If I walk away thinking 'Boy, you trigger me', I pay attention to that thought. I come to recognise who triggers me and how they typically do it. You learn to read people this way and read your self. Sometimes I'm quite happy to turn my filter system way down. If someone is being cruel or degrading towards another...BAMM, I vent my thoughts through my mouth. It will typically lead the person being degraded to smile. I do love raising people to a smile!

🙂

[Gonetroppo]

To be honest, I'm surprised that they gave you a gastric sleeve because of weight gain due to medication side effects. I'm bipolar and on a medication - one of the side effects is weight gain. That's a pretty standard side effect for atypical antipsychotics which are used as mood stabilizers in bipolar disorder. In my case, I was referred to a dietician which helped me manage the weight gain to some extent. Tardive dyskenesia is also a side effect of some mood stabilisers, again, particularly atypical anti-psychotics. I've never had to deal with that, but I understand that it is worse with some anti-psychotics than others.

I went through much the same as you. I had to stop the medications that I was on abruptly. I didn't get manic but instead, went the other way. I couldn't stop crying. I went back to my GP who started looking for a new psychiatrist after several attempts to contact the psychiatrist I was seeing. We found one who stabilised the medication I was on and I was okay after that.

I don't know, but maybe you should think about getting a second opinion?

[chloe_xx]

Hi,

I am sorry you are having a hard time controlling bipolar, it sounds so frustrating. Have you tried making a schedule, this can help stabilise your mood - maybe medication or other relaxation techniques, going for a walk. In terms of trying to get to sleep, reading a book can help and reducing screen time (i know this can be difficult, I am guilty of going on my phone before bed)

I hope this helps. Best wishes,

Chloe