Why people tell me to stop crying

[Ames82]

I admit I’m a crier but lately that has been replaced by anger. It’s liking I’m telling myself that sadness makes me weak and anger is more powerful, but I feel so out of control when I’m angry,

i hide my severe depression and anxiety but sometimes I cry and can’t hide it and people just tell me it’s ok and don’t cry. I then feel ashamed for crying and the cycle of anger starts over again. I don’t know how to manage this. My emotions are so out of control and when this happens I can’t cope.

anyone can help or offer advice? I’m really alone I have no one to talk to

[startingnew]

hello and welcome to BB

sometimes anger is a form of self protection. when your angry, your not really thinking about the other emotions you might have bubbling away inside. do you find you get angry because people arent listening to you?

im wondering if you have some supports in place like a psychologist and your gp? managing emotions can be really tricky but with help, you can learn how to manage them and express yourself in a more calm but assertive manner.

[smallwolf]

Ames82,

Hi. Noticed you have made a few posts here. Typically, people here a single thread. Consider it like a home, a place where you reside, and the conversation take place. It also allows others to read prior posts, to work how/what to reply to etc. With that said, I will reply here, and let the moderators move / merge or otherwise...

From your other thread (Forums / Treatments, health professionals and therapies / Self sabotage and medication) you said that you are on ADs and regularly see a GP and psychologist. From my own experience with my psychologist depression or anxiety (putting aside any hereditary or "chemical imbalance" issues) result from incidents in our (or at least "my") past.

I will describe my situation as it applies to me. Hopefully you might get something out of it for yourself...

And then for me, working out the primary or central cause of this. It also requires focusing on the positives in our current or past lives. The negatives can crush or overrule all or any positives. I now have to create a journal entry per day of positives. At first it was very difficult, and that was over 2 months ago. Now it is bit easier. But it takes time and continual practice. And not giving up after week 1 because there was/is no change.

I have also use(d) relax melodies and use the meditations there to help. It is an phone app recommended by my psychologist. Maybe worth looking at? I started with the free version but then wanted to add everything so took up the paid version.

People here will listen and support you. They have on your other thread.

Wishing you well,

Tim

Tim

[future_]

Ames love I am a crier as well infact I am teary while typing this to you. I am lonely for a partner to cherish. I too suffer with depression and it is an awful disease. please know you are loved by someone if not love yourself, that I can do. try really hard to think of good thoughts or look outside at the nice day. just try talking to someone anyone within your area about the littlest thing just to see if that helps break your bad thoughts and know there are alot of people who need help like you and I do. hopefully you work to keep your mind a little occupied. xoxo sam.

[therising]

Hi Ames82

I have heard it said before that crying is a form of stress release, which might help in explaining your conversion to anger (another expression of mental stress). The cycle you speak of is a familiar one for certain people who experience depression: Moments of contentment followed by moments of sadness followed by moments of anger (for having felt so 'weak') followed by moments of sadness again (for having been so angry) and 'round we go again. Depression is brutal and mentally exhausting! We tend to beat ourselves up a fair bit; if these psychological beatings we give ourselves manifested as physical, we'd be black and blue all over with everyone around us being super sympathetic and incredibly concerned. As my mum always said, 'If your not broken, bruised or bleeding (people just don't get the pain you're in).

It sounds like you need someone in your life to talk to in regard to the stress of anxiety and depression (trusted friend and/or professional). In finding people who understand the challenges of mental illness you will also find people who understand that the advice 'It's okay, stop crying' is like trying to put out a raging fire with a glass of water. With the help of understanding people, you will begin to feel 'normal' in regard to being someone who is experiencing the challenges of depression and anxiety.

I will leave you with one of my favourite quotes of all time, by Washington Irving - 'There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.'

Take care

[Sophiee__]

I can sympathise with you alot. Im a crier too. At other points in my life when ive experienced low mental health moments i use to never cry and went many years without crying at all. Even though now i cry all the time i honestly feel like its better to let it out.

One way i cope with my mental health (dont know how healthy it really is) is to just sit there and dwell (usually at night) in how bad i feel and all the bad things i think are happening in my life and i'll just let it all out and the next day i always feel better for it and usually it lasts a while of me feeling like ive let everything realise out of me. It also helps the total lack of control i feel when i have poor mental health as i feel like im controlling when im crying and choosing to let it out.

[spacemountain]

Hi Ames, there's nothing bad or shameful about crying. it shows strength that you're dealing with something painful. those people should not be telling you to stop, that's completely unhelpful and clearly damaging to you. i've felt the same growing up being shamed out of expressing any emotion and the only support being "move on, get over it, don't cry" etc. if you don't let it out, it's still there being suppressed and rotting. it's important to express what you're feeling, to process it and let it flow out. because it sounds like you may not have any people who will allow you to do this in their company, it helps to at least let yourself cry it out alone. give yourself space to feel your emotions without judging or censoring them.

take care