Hi again,
I understand your pain and I want to share with you what I learned about myself through my many difficult experiences. I am now in my 60s and for many many years I didn't understand either.
My journey began with a dysfunctional family, the loss of my familial soul mate at 14 years old, marriage in my early 20s to a man who did not treat me with respect, separation, divorce, death of a close friend when I was 30, death of another close friend at 42, diagnosis of dysthymia and major depression at 43, death of my father at 44, death of both my eldest brother and mother within 10 weeks at age 51, diagnosed with cancer at age 56.
What I eventually realised is that some of us came into this world with an important mission to help others. Without having gone through our own traumas and challenges, we are not equipped to have the empathy and compassion required to be of any help to others. If you can begin to see your traumas and challenges in that light early in your life, they will become learning experiences rather than feel like a personal punishment of some kind.
I used to say "Why me?", now I say "Why not me?, someone has to take on the hard roles, so why not me? If I can put those hard learned lessons to good use in helping others who are going through similar difficulties, then my experiences have not been for nothing, they have been for an important reason".
I hope this helps you understand a little better.
Thinking of you,
indigo 💜
