What if you lack motivation to change ?

[Kat555]

I am a woman in my 30s and things have going on for a while i know. I have sought help from psychology but I feel all i get often is " do breathing exercises" and " get up and start doing what you love" etc. It's all great in theory but it just doesn't work for me, I don't understand why? I feel like its a lack of motivation on an extreme. I am quite isolated as i moved to another country 10 years ago and except for my partner and my child, I feel i have failed to make meaningful friendships or to have a support network, so I have been living in the name of him and our child and now going somewhere alone feels sort of daunting or pointless even though I know, this is needed such as going to some exercise class, to improve my self-confidence. Like i feel that i won't really need anyone else but them but I know he needs his time on the other hand i expect him to be my support in everything and I know it is exhausting for him. I constantly feel like other people out there have their friend's circles and activities they do but i feel like I don't belong. Something is holding me back from going out there and doing things by myself and making myself feel better and I don't understand what it is. I know people say "Just go do it" Well if it was that easy i would have and i feel like i am letting myself down constantly yet can not pinpoint what is holding me back. Its worth mentioning that I am working almost 60 hours a week every week and I constantly struggle with time and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this is also something that I can not change at this point of time due to financial responsibilities. I am also constantly worried that something bad might happen to our child, if I am not there, like no one else would not know how to protect him better. I do not want to take any medication unless its something on the natural side. I constantly miss my home, my family and my country and the support network i had there. Its a mess and I am not sure what to do. I was hoping that there might have been people in similar situations who could share some practical tips. Thank you kindly 

[Richju]

Dear Kat555,

No wonder you are tired and unmotivated if you're working a 60 hr week and have a child too. You sound very run down and I believe that's why you are worrying about something going wrong and missing the security of your family overseas.

I wonder if you have thought of seeing a financial advisor regarding your money problems. Earlier in my life I experienced severe financial problems and I know how hard it is but the people you owe money to will often accept a small regular payment.

You can also get free food from the food banks. 

Please keep in contact on this forum as I'm sure others will have ideas on how to cope with financial difficulty without working yourself into the ground.

Please take care and keep in touch.

Warmest regards,

Richju xx

[white knight]

Hi,welcome 

I'm happy you have professional help. Lived experience for peer advisors can have different input and perspectives.

I feel you could be over thinking a bit. Socialising hasn't changed a lot for centuries... choose your hobby, sport or interest, attend gatherings and be yourself with zero expectations. If no expectations,  you won't be disappointed. Attend regularly and over time things could improve.

Your work rate is a major issue not to be under rated. This needs a plan with reduction in a short to medium period.

Your decision not to take meds is a personal one however nothing natural imo competes with mental health issues with the potency needed. I mention this only because battling such demons, you need all the help you can get.

I hope you feel welcome here. We are open to post 24/7/365. Our service can help plug gaps in your treatment by having a chat.

TonyWK