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No one believes me?
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I’m wondering if anything similar has occured for people with high-functioning depression such as myself.
None of my family have noticed anything about my illness, despite both my parents having psychology degrees. None of my friends noticed anything either.
I had a counsellor at uni, she was lovely, I think she is the only person who believes that I am really struggling right now. She got me to fill out this rubric/checklist thingy and it came out that I was extremely severely anxious, extremely severely stressed and extremely severely depressed. I literally could not have scored any higher.
When I gave my GP this form he just said ‘It looks like you were having a bad day’. BAD DAY? SERIOUSLY? This is my life always!!
I’d been asking for ages for a mental health care plan, and he only gave me one after my uni counsellor wrote him a letter, and I could tell he was pretty reluctant. I still don’t think he thinks I’m doing that badly.
not to mention, when I finally worked up the courage to let my friends know what was going on they were so surprised! And they’d say stuff like ‘you seem fine’ or ‘you’re not that bad right?’
And at this point I just find it ridiculous. How bad do I have to be before people start taking me seriously? How can it be that I struggle with severe depression and anxiety and NO ONE around me believes me?
Sorry I know this is a bit of a rant. I just wanna know if I’m the only one this has happened to
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Hey PinkKookaburra,
Thanks for posting and sharing your situation with us. Sorry to hear your going through a rough spell at present but I can tell your extremely resilient and courageous and these are great qualities to possess.
Have you spoken to your parent's about the way you feel? One thing people with high-functioning depression is that they (I used to be one of them) are masters in hiding our suffering/symptoms and no one would have a clue that we are feeling the way we are.
What are you studying? Psychology like your parents? Uni counsellors/disability support officers are amazing and are a great source of information and strength at such a challenging time. Is your condition impacting your studies? If it is please see your disability support officers and enquire about an academic integration plan (AIP). This is an agreement/contract that the university puts in place that if necessary and deemed applicable to your situation, they will alter your study requirements and support your learning and studies. Of course, a GP/specialist will have to fill out a medical assessment form as evidence.
It is such a shame and extremely disappointing that your GP isn't taking you seriously enough and your condition. I would recommend changing GP if you GP is approaching your mental health in such a poor manner. It is actually negligent what your GP is doing and I would consider seeing another one that will acknowledge your very real and serious concerns.
We care for you and understand what your going through. I would also look into contacting Headspace. They are fabulous and will be able to provide you with the help and assistance you seek using a holistic approach to your well-being.
Hope this helped and look forward to receipt of your replies.
All the best,
Nick.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, I really appreciate it and you made me feel a lot better. I’m super scared to let my parents know what is going on, which to most people probably seems silly. I just really don’t want things to change, and I guess I just don’t trust them enough to react well. I know they love me we just have a very superficial relationship and I don’t like getting vulnerable with them.
I’m studying speech pathology, so it’s a little different from psychology (although I did actually consider studying psychology haha)
i kind of thought that the only thing universities could do with mental illness is let you have extra time in exams or do your exams in a private room, so I never really thought about bothering with the disability service as I can complete exams okay. I actually might look into that now.
My uni counsellor was lovely, but I could only get an appointment about once every 4 weeks. Between each appointment I was declining so much and she could tell too, so sue suggested the mental health plan so I could see a clinical psych. That was about a month ago. I have my first appointment with a clinical psych in 2-3 weeks. Waiting is just hard I guess.
I think I might try a different GP if I need to see one, it’s just hard because he knows my history and all that.
So yeah, I hope my new clinical paych works out well and things start looking up. It’s just been such a long journey with depression, about 3 years now and I’m only 19, and I’ve been all alone for way too long.
thanks so much for believing me, it honestly makes me feel so validated.
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Hey Pink,
What your experiencing and not wanting to tell your parents is absolutely reasonable and normal. In fact, most people would feel as you do in your situation so don't be too hard on yourself.
Speech pathology is awesome. Have you always had interest in helping others? Speech pathologists do great things! The empowerment and increased quality of life they provide to their clients is amazing!
The disability services will be able to provide you with more information but you can get really good and appropriate modifications to your study requirements. Your parent's wouldn't have to know just your GP and your Academic Adviser of your degree.
It is so encouraging that you are actively seeking treatment which is amazing and I do think regular psychology sessions will greatly benefit you. It seems you are extremely mindful and have great awareness of your emotions and that is a great trait to possess.
Your not alone mate. You have us and your family if you ever feel comfortable opening up to them. You are doing great things and keep it up mate.
I look forward to hearing back from you shortly and seeing you progress and improve your quality of life. You deserve happiness and you will achieve it mate.
All the best,
Nick.
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hello pinkkookaburra99
i think alot of us can relate to the high functioning depression. i had it for over 10 years then when my daughter left me to live with her dad the depression has surfaced.
be greatful no one has noticed. because when it really hits you you cant function.
no one needs to notice....only you
no one can really understand..only you
now that YOU are aware....and you also know others dont get it....you now can truly start releasing and re energising yourself.
take the dog walking
exercise
coffee with friends
read a book..
but try to understand yourself......not all depression stems from some catastrophe. it can be something minor to everyone else....but to you....important.
start loving yourself....
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Hi
I’m sorry to hear about your depression. A lot of the time people don’t understand what it’s like unless that have experienced depression. I think most of the times they mean well, but are no always able to offer the suitable support.
It might be a good idea to ask yourself what do I want right now?
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Same here.
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