what if i’m just faking it?

[shrivelled_mushroom]

hi

i’ve been diagnosed with depression. but i look at all these other posts or hear all these stories about others with depression and their situations seem so much worse... i mean i go to a good school and i get good marks (even though my marks have severely plunged since i got depression) and my family is loving and safe and secure and my family is well off enough and i have enough to eat and a warm bed and no addiction or anything... what if i’m just faking it?

i feel so guilty for saying i have depression when others have it so much worse. i have no reason to be depressed. i mean sure, sometimes i feel really sad or empty or mad or even suicidal but come to think about it it’s probably just the moody teenager inside of me. and the times i feel ok i’m always worrying that maybe i’m not depressed after all and my parents are just wasting their money on the psychologist and my friends and family are just worried for nothing. and then i feel selfish which leads me to feel depressed. and of course i don’t want to be depressed but sometimes i feel... almost relieved to be feeling depressed or something, like i’m proving to myself that i actually have depression which is selfish and spoilt and stupid and ironic of me.

gosh i hate myself. i swear i’m just making this whole depression thing up and i’m actually 100% ok. like why am i wasting peoples time on this forum anyway? i have no extreme problems, my only problem is my selfish character. i don’t know what’s wrong with me and i can’t tell if i’m faking it or not. i probably am faking it all and just using it as an excuse for my dropping marks and withdrawal from friends at school. i’m such an idiot.

sorry for wasting your time. can someone give me an answer... am i really faking this whole thing??

[mocha delight]

Shriveled mushroom no matter how small or how big our problems are we all deserve help when we need it so your not alone ok and there’s definitely many others on here who have most definitely felt the same 🤗

[geoff]

Hello Shrivelled mushroom, I'm pleased you have received all these replies because there maybe times when people may fake or exaggerate symptoms to obtain rewards or to avoid undesirable outcomes, but to those who have experienced depression, that can easily be picked up, however, this doesn't involve you as this illness appears out of nowhere and perhaps for no reason, which complicates ant diagnosis.

If you have told your parents that you have depression but then tell them you're feeling better at a later date, but actually don't, this will only confuse them because they could ask you to join them on several occasions, but decline, not because you don't want to, your depression forbids you.

No one can ever blame you for developing this illness, especially anyone who's suffered from it before and for a long time, we know exactly what you are struggling with, and want to offer all the help we can.

Incidentally, I grew up in a strong balanced family, unfortunately, this couldn't stop it, whereas my twin was a well balanced brother and never suffered from it.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Captain Australia]

Mate, if I can just make one comment that I think is really important:

I've been trying to figure out if my recent depression is situational (going through bad stuff, as I have) or clinical/chemical (due to a brain chemistry issue or other circumstance outside my control).

I think mine is situational: I've been through some stuff !

BUT ... I think the clinical/chemical type of depression is far more worthy of sympathy and understanding. You say in your post how you feel ashamed because you're depressed but have good things in your life. I feel such an aching and profound sympathy for you - because that's EXACTLY what depression is. There are good things in your life but they just can't change the bad feelings.

I wish you every success in overcoming your condition. I'm just a boofhead, but I believe, utterly, that people are capable of amazing, inspiring things. Overcoming a depression like yours, that must be so oppressive, like it comes at you relentlessly from the outside even when things in life are OK .. that would be an inspiring and amazing thing.

Take a walk, talk to the people you love, lean on people and.. like you have been .. be brave and share your story. Don't give in to any of that dark shit, you mentioned suicidal thoughts - learn to recognise that for what it is, a symptom of an insidious disease. It's not genuine, authentic, or based on the good things in your life, it comes from somewhere else, and you can fight it AND PEOPLE WANT TO HELP YOU.

I wish you every happiness, I hope you can find joy in your young life. You feel you don't deserve sympathy. That breaks my heart, you deserve every sympathy. Lean on people and get through the depression.

No. You're not faking it. Yes, you deserve to be here.

All the best.