What happened to my happily ever after?

[Vitsyra]

Hi All,

I'm Dawn and I'm new 🙂

I have struggled with anxiety and depression since my early teens, but I think overall I've managed pretty well on my own..

I'm turning 30 in two months.. and the most amazing thing just happened, I finally moved into my brand new house after 3 years of building misery. I have two beautiful cats, two beautiful bunnies and a pretty good job.

So why aren't I happy? 😞 I feel annoyed at myself, while my life certainly isn't perfect I think its pretty good and most people would be more than happy to have it. Silly me thought once I moved into the house and settled in everything would just be perfect, my own happily ever after..

Unfortunately moving into my new house caused my anxiety to go AWOL.. then my depression decided to join the party. 6 weeks later and I am starting to feel better, but I thought I would try some counseling anyway.. but I don't think it really went well and I'm not convinced I'm going to go back.

I guess what I'm trying to ask (while also introducing myself) is have you ever gotten everything you wanted (or something you wanted) and then found yourself not as happy as you were hoping? What did you do?

[Julz01]

Hi Dawn

Depression & anxiety does not discriminate it can hit those with it all & those without. It's a chemical imbalance it doesn't care what you have or have not. I have a husband & family my friends envy & I do have a great relationship but the black dog still nips at my heels & sometimes knocks me to the ground.

Don't be too hard on yourself & give the counselling another go it might help & if it doesn't maybe you just need a different counsellor.

welcome & take care

Julz

[white knight]

Hi Vitsyra, welcome

Im pretty stanle for a bipolar and depressant. 8weeks ago I was on holidays in our beaut little caravan I had built, vintage car and interstate. Mo worries. But depression hit me. I realised it matters not the environment.

Diversion helps. Keep busy, hobbies, light sports.

So bearing in mind that go along to your GP for a chat.

Here is a few threads you can google

Topic: depression and the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: a cheap recovery idea, camping- beyondblue

Topic: you are sliding, what can you do?- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Mathy]

Hi Dawn,

Moving house is a very stressful life event. It happened to me as well. My guess is that if anxiety/depression is present, then the stress of new surroundings (even much looked forward to) can cause stress related issues. The same thing happened to me. OK, so I’m still working on the solution, but I know I’m very fortunate to have what I have - which is a small home for me and that gorgeous pup in my profile pic. I live on a lake and get to see great sunsets, the daily life of moving water, pelicans, seagulls, cormorants fishing, people sailing and rowing. I guess I’m saying - love what you have, focus on how you can change what you don’t like and then go for it - give counselling another go, find a different counsellor or maybe find a support group (or use the BB forums) - breaking the lethargy and depression is the hard part, but, believe that you will succeed, cheers M 🙂

[geoff]

hello Dawn, absolutely, I join Mathy in moving house was very stressful, either when my family moved into a house that overlooked the town, but it needed so much work done on it, or moving once I was divorced, that's happened a couple of times and took me back into having a relapse.
Perhaps it's the idea of getting to know your neighbours, whether they are going to be friendly, quiet and would help you when the time came, give yourself some time to adjust, don't push yourself and let it happen at it's own pace. Geoff.

[Vitsyra]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

I keep reminding myself to give myself time, I've only been moved in for 5 weeks and this is my first move after nearly 30 years in the same house with mum and dad.. but I like things to be just so, and I'm not going at waiting (bit of a perfectionist).

I will give the psychologist another go, maybe she just needed time to assess me and next session can be more solution focused.

[Guest_128]

wow, I am giving you a massive high five.

You have done so much,that is hugh doing your own house,so many tiny decisions plus all the big ones.

Hey what a move from living with mum and dad.

Get that music happening,get the bubbles out ,

You have just been born.

Just settle, it's a really life changing time for you.

I don't even know you and I'm excited for you.

Dory

[Vitsyra]

Thanks everyone for the support.

Well after 3 months in the new house I was feeling on top of the world, my anxiety finally went away and everything was sunshine. Had the house warming which went great.. then I watched a scary movie on Friday and triggered my anxiety, the last few days have been hell. I can't stop crying.. I keep thinking it will go away again but it isn't going 😞 I just get so tired, is this going to be life forever? A few good weeks and then really bad ones? I thought about looking at moving closer to my parents, but its not really practical and definitely not affordable.

Just in a horrible place right now. 😞 And as much as my mum tries she just doesn't get it, keeps telling me to just 'stop it' when I say I have anxiety. I wish I could.

I should mention, I ended up not going back to the psychologist, had a clash with work so had to cancel and because i was so happy didn't bother to rebook. Guess I will have to now.

[Guest_128]

Hey Dawn, great to hear from you.

I am happy that the house warming was a success.

It takes a bit of time to feel connected with a , well any health profession, if you give it a go and you don't click,I am sorry to say you need to try a new one. Maybe talk to your gp and say what your after and what went wrong.

Have you thought about a house mate,bit of security and extra funds for you?

You my friend have come so far!

Time to learn yourself, you are very smart,open your eyes to mental health.

It can be your friend,get to know it.

Now what's doing with the garden????

Dory

[Mathy]

Hey Dawn, lovely to hear from you 🙂

Anxiety, hmmmm. It’s a thing that’s very good at pretending to go away, and then coming back and kicking your butt when you least expect it. It’s demanding your attention. As Dory said above, it can also be your friend.

I know you didn’t click with your counsellor, but maybe it’s time to begin the process of finding another. Anxiety is a sign that something needs paying attention to. Perhaps a visit to your GP as well? You might need medication to help.

Please don’t feel weak or a failure about this. Despite what your Mum says, ‘stop it” doesn’t work. Tackling the anxiety will make you feel better in the long run.

Now, I’m with Dory, what’s up with your new garden 😊

This is your thread, for you to speak about your journey, I look forward to hearing about how you’re going, best M 🙂