Hi. I am a 30 year old male who has for a long period of time suffered severely with depression, and until only very recently realised I have possibly been more so affected by anxiety.
Things have been coming to a head for a while and exploded a couple of weeks ago when I attempted suicide.
At the time I felt I had nothing, I had moved to follow my partner of 3 months to a new town, and basically dropped my entire life to start a new one. My decision. Nobody elses. Things had began going wrong from the time I moved, I had contact with my own children stopped by their mother, I have struggled to settle in my new home, didnt like the job I had and the bliss of the new love began to fade mainly I would suggest amongst my failing happiness.
A heated argument and talk of a split left me feeling I had nothing left....hopeless and a fool. Foolishly I attempted to end it all. Thankfully I was found and I have recovered well after a few days in ICU. I know what I did was wrong. I know it isnt the answer. I know what I need to do to mke sure I never end up in that situation again. I am taking all the appropriate steps.
My main issue is that my partner is struggling with what has happened and is pushing me away. Initially she was very supportive and I am forever grateful and thankful.....I realise how cruel and horrible it must have been for her to go through....she seen me in a bad way.
Problem is that now she says she doesnt trust me, has no idea who I am and doesnt want this for her life. I love her and feel we are meant to be. Can I support what she needs to be feeling or is this a case of me needing to pull away myself to protect my own mind and safety.......I am struggling with being shunned and hate the idea I have someone who is perhaps only with me because they are afraid I will hurt myself. I dont know what to do...can someone please give me some insight....i fear this will push me back into my mind.
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