Was unhappy at previous job, now unemployed and depressed

[sadvet]

Hello,

So I have posted several months ago that I was not happy working at my previous job. I was crying in the middle of the night, and was just anxious all the time. I have been seeing a clinical psychologist since I started working, and more recently saw a career counsellor as well. Everyone has been supportive of me to quit my job, and after 6 months I have finally resigned.

It has been over a month since I resigned. I have applied to several other clinics but so far all of them have chosen other candidates. Naturally, I started becoming anxious and depressed again, as I am afraid that I have just ruined my chance of getting a job. On hindsight, I should have found a job first, then quit. But work was becoming unbearable for me, that I have decided to quit regardless of my status. One of the interviewers might have implied that I lack resilience, and this was a stab to my heart. It felt like everything I did was a mistake, like quitting my job in just 6 months, choosing that job in the first place, and even choosing that degree. I could not stop thinking about what I could have done.

I just wanted to know for those who have been in a similar situation, what did you do to keep yourself positive and motivated? I really only opened up to my psychologist and partner about my situation. I didn't want to disappoint my parents, who have been so supportive of me so far.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I don't blame you for being dejected. It's ok for some to point the finger and say you should have done this or that but they didn't have to work in that environment. I've had 90 jobs in my life in 15 professions and once my mother heard I'd resigned from a job and she said "that was a good job, I don't know why you left". Fact is, you are the one working in it. BTW my mother never work in any job in her life. How could she know? So listen to your logic not other peoples.

Be aware that prospective employers can sometimes ring your last employer for an account of your work. It can result in you missing out on your success.

During your life there will be many challenges that we humans all face, funerals, nastiness, losing money, poor choices etc so it wont be the first time. On this occasions best to say to yourself "I will feel better in 6 months time".

At the end of the day, you need to be positive. One month isn't long nowadays to be unemployed. What about applying well away from home for a while? Rent for a while? Then buy a caravan and travel around as a travelling vet? Just some ideas. For me I got my start way back in 1973 when I joined the Air Force.

So, try to be positive.

Google

Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

Beyondblue topic never ever give up

Beyondblue topic finding work, some tips

You can attend some motivation seminars too. Be active. If you feel really bad there are numbers at the bottom of this page you can ring. All the best.

TonyWK

[MissBenthos]

Hi Sadvet,

Job seeking is hard! In my experience, looking for work is harder than doing the work when you're in a job, because you're putting in so much and not getting anything in return. Some businesses don't even bother to inform their candidates of their application status! It can be super disheartening.

I resigned from my job recently without anything lined up. I'm excited for the new and terrified at the same time. I'm taking a bit of time to catch up on house work, errands and taking care of myself (physical exercise, mental relaxation and catch up with friends). Do you think setting scheduled times for job seeking then using your other time for those type of activities would be helpful for you as well? I feel like I have some sense of achievement while I'm doing things for myself as well.

The "find a job while you're in a job" is something I considered while still at work but work takes up so much time already, especially when it's not a good environment because you're stressing about it when you're not even there. There is nothing wrong with taking the steps separately as we have done, it gives us more focus on going forward. The interviewer who implied you lack resilience is not someone you want to work for, what a ****! I know it's hard to see from the positive perspective but be proud of the bullet you've dodged, imagine working for someone rude like that.

It's likely that interviewers will ask why you left a past job. What you want to talk about here is how it was not providing what you need anymore. This could be education, diversity, achievement, work-life balance, higher pay - something that shows you've outgrown the old job and are looking for new growth, without going into detail about the environment or employees/management of the old workplace. Try to keep it positive about your professional development rather than talking about the crappy things that happened at the old job.

I'm trying to remember a quote I heard about regret but the details aren't coming to me. It was coming from someone who spoke a language that didn't have a word for regret and when the concept was explained to this person they simply said "that sounds painful, don't do that". So instead of regret, are you able to think of what you have learnt from your experience? What do you know now that you didn't before? What are you doing differently now? Are you following your desires? What do you need to do to be in the place you dream of?

[Desedrata]

Hi,

I struggle to hold on to work but I've found by speaking to the employment agency and letting them know about my predisposition, they speak to potential employers on my behalf when I apply for work. This way you only go to interviews with potential employers who will not discriminate against you and will be understanding should you need to take some time off work down the track. Also, it might be worth your while doing a couple of hours a week volunteer work to prove your reliability and enthusiasm to be employed, without exhausting you to the point that you don't have the energy to look for paid employment.