Very broken today!

[Pete81]

Not a good day Have cried for most of it. I've hidden from others so no one see's me cry and just moped about the farm. I feel very broken watching my ex wife take her and the kids stuff out of the house its gutting me to watch taking away fond memories and good times on the farm. Have been catching up with a few people of late for Christmas and just to say goodbye before i move away for work and just in case things turn bad and i don't get the chance to talk to them again sounds pathetic i know but just don't have the strength or fight to battle too  much at the moment. i know it sounds like I've given up just having a bad week i suppose, But i am really starting to scare myself and make myself believe it will be the last time i see many of these people. I have seen my doc again and went to the salvos to talk to someone but im just in a spot of feeling no matter what i do its not going change my situation and im still going to be alone and have nothing. All I can say is I'm very down and feel very broken and unfix-able today.

[Pete81]

Thanks Laura. I live around seven hours away from  my children so its a far hike to go see them. just my ex thinks im not a not a great role model for the kids and she would rather I break all ties with them Its pretty much taken away any purpose I did have

[laura86]

Hi Pete,

I know right now you feel so defeated but please don't break ties with your children! As I said my mum tried to convince my dad to do that and he did think about it because she made him feel so low. But I am glad every day that he didn't give up and that he fought for me. I've had a great relationship with my dad my whole life and am so grateful to have him.

You're ex can say and do what she wants but you do have a right to speak to and see your children! I would maybe get some legal advice because you have more rights than you realise! Another idea might be to call BB or a men's help line because they often deal with separation and custody issues and can give you some advice or at least point you in the right direction.

Don't think you have no purpose because your kids do need you. 

[white knight]

Hi Pete,

A very similar thing occured to me in 1996 at the end of my marriage with my 1st wife. we have 2 daughters then 7 and 4 yo.

This led to my one and only planned suicide. Then I thought of the kids. And it was thankfully abandoned.

I have one very serious thing for you to remember from White Knight. That is. It is now 18 years later and my girls have fully grown. I rarely think about my ex wife, I've remarried and most improtantly...I am enjoying my girls like I have never enjoyed them before. Furthermore my eldest is full aware of her past with her mother and on her own, decided not to see her again. There was no influence from me.

The old saying "what goes around comes around" and life has that quirky thing about it.

So I'd like you to add 15 or 20 years onto your time now and imagine how life will be then, when your kids are grown and have a mind of their own.

In the meantime go through all proper channels to try to secure visitation rights. If you have done nothing untoward then you have a right to unsupervised visits. Seek out a lawyer and keep fighting.

At all times remember Pete, its the raising of the flag at the end of the battle that matters, not the evil that is thrown at you in between.

Stay strong. Think of the long term. Life can end up really good.