Understanding my situation

[normal_guy]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post so thank you for reading. I would very much appreciate anyone who may have answers or have been in a similar situation to shed some light on why I am thinking the way I am.

Lately, I have been feeling depressed and worthless finding it hard to find motivation about nearly everything. I am confused about why I am feeling this way as I have so many good things in my life and should feel lucky and happy to have them. A couple of years ago my partner and I built our first home, I am married to an amazing supporting wife, I have a full-time job, I am studying a degree at university part-time and we are both in good health. I am very grateful for all these things and there are no issues there. But, I find myself thinking about how worthless I am on a daily basis. I feel as though anyone who meets me does not like me and looks down on me like I am also worthless. Some days I find myself about to burst into tears for no apparent reason and then start thinking how my family would probably not miss me that much if anything happened to me. My wife does not know how bad I feel some days as I try to keep my head up and hide everything, pretending I am ok. In recent years I left the defence force and have become very anti-social. It wasn't until a year ago I realised I did not have any friends which sounds a bit sad. I used to have heaps of friends and a very active social life but feel as though no-one has much time for me anymore. These feelings of worthlessness and sad thoughts keep getting worse as time goes on. I have not thought of suicide but instead, I think of how I got to this point. I feel like I should not be complaining about anything in my life and nothing is actually wrong but I feel as though I am sinking and cannot get out of this point in my life. I admit I am embarrassed to talk about this to anyone being a typical bloke and ex-defence soldier because I don't want anyone I know to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

Hi normal guy

I am so pleased that you have come to chat and to get how you are feeling off your chest. I hear what you are saying in that you feel like you almost have no right to feel sad as your life is pretty good, you see, the thing with feeling sad and feeling worthless and having these tough times, they aren't actually about what you have and what you don't and is very much and internal experience. No one is exempt from it and it can happen to any of us at any time, you are so very much not alone.

It would be great to have a chat to your GP and get some of these things off your chest. They have the tools to give you some solid support and help during these times.

We are here for you anytime that you want to chat and just get some comfort and some support. Do you think you could talk to your wife and let her know how you are feeling? The extra support would be great and I am sure she would really like to be apart of your healing too.

It is so wonderful you have reached out and I hope that you come back to chat and just to talk about how you are feeling and what you think of perhaps a trip to the GP.

Chat soon normal guy

AS

[KatieC]

Hi Normal guy,

I really appreciate your honest share. It resonated so much with me that I just created an account so I could reply.
I also have lots of great things going on in my life and still feel hopeless a lot of the time: it's so easy to think that there is something "wrong with us" or that we have no reason to feel this way.
I work with kids and had one a few months back who told me he was sad and didn't know why. I started to reply, "Well, there must be a reason," before catching myself and simply saying, "Its okay to be sad and not know why, I'll stay with you until you feel better."

It was only recently that I realised I need to take this advice for myself. I'm now seeing a psychologist to help me with these thoughts. Although I haven't told my parents, I have been able to talk to my brother and some close friends who I caught up with recently. This has also made a difference to my mental well-being.

I'm just glad it's not just me that has these thoughts!

KC

[Aaronsis]

Welcome KatieC

It is so wonderful to have you on the forum and your response to that young child really made me feel so happy. That is such a fantastic thing to say to anyone really, and I am so glad that you did. I am also proud of you for having the courage to come and join us and for those wonderful words of encouragement.

Welcome KC and hope to chat to you some more, keep talking, keep sharing and big hugs to you.

AS

[normal_guy]

Hi AS and Katie C,

Thank you very much for the kind words. I will take your advice and book into the GP. Thank you Katie C for replying to my post, I really appreciate the support and I hope that you are feeling more like yourself.

NG