Understanding depression....TO BEAT IT ? *Warning, Contains Triggers*

[demonblaster]

We're here to learn, sure of it. Have to for survival.

Like so many have lived in hell a mammoth amount of times.

I firmly believe collectively we can in majority of cases get on top of depression. We have to, too many die & suffer in unimaginable pain. It's wrong.

We're intelligent, capaple of thought. It has & CAN be done including coming back from the bottom.

A psychiatrist said to me when I said I'm going to beat it..." It can't be done".

I say maybe it hasn't been, but that doesn't mean it can't!

I'm Bipolar type 1 & 2 (now moreso) & yes its taken yrs but condensed not so long, so far (details later) have achieved pulling the extreme type 1 manias down to more controlled type 2 & anyone that experiences or knows the euphoria & complete unadulterated bliss, NO BODY on this Earth wouldnt want it. Its what people take drugs for, Pure happiness/confidence the list goes on ...

Point being, mammoth to let it go but achieved reduction, still amazing though.

I like thinking, am DETERMINED to get this crap, worse scenario under complete control which'd be a WIN!

In shorter time frame thanks to mania that opens or wakes the brain starting to make huge headway breaking through extremely deep depression.

I'm more than a rapid cycler (4 or more a year) I have 8-10 major cycles a year. Gotta get on top else it'll take me too

BP has by far more suicide than any other mental illness I recently read.

4 attempts in teens, contemplated a few & until recently it was an option.

Learning Emotional control

Our brains are possibly the least understood organ but what we do know is they're VERY POWERFUL. If we can understand depression from understanding we can learn. Growth.

Believing creates hope & determination

Sincerely sorry for your pain people.

We can get this

[Ggrand]

Hello DB.

Please don't be sorry for my life, ( don't know why but those few words just got me crying big time) .

DB, I've come to really and I mean this from my heart really respect you and care for you, I've kinda made you my mentor ( hope that ok). We all need someone to lean on and with your permission I'm leaning on you big time,, maybe I'm leaning to much if so I'm sorry.

outburst below as I just lost control and need to put it out there, and out of my head.

I blame myself for my life from 12yrs old and upwards, Why, why, why, a thousand times I keep asking myself , I could, well I'm sure, I could have gotten help back then, fear of retaliation if I was turned down stopped me from seeking help. why so pathetically weak, God only knows how much I hate myself for that,,it could have been so different. yeah I went through crap, but I want some happiness now, I need happiness now, I need peace, I know I will fall down sometimes, but hey I can handle a few times a year but not every single day like now.

We gotta and we will put all theses memories asleep in a tiny corner of my brain so I can get some space for happiness to flow in.

I really don't know how to copy and post, so I will leave that up to you, use whatever you need to use..

taking a hug, a big one,

kindness only

GG

[startingnew]

Hi GG
feel free to call me SN if you like, a few call me star or starts so whatever your comfortable with 🙂


I am so sorry you went through all of that. I really am and my heart goes out to you from survivor to survivor. I never seeked help for mine either until early this yr. Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do esp with your emotions and thoughts saying 'your not worth it' 'dont you dare' . I get it.
But dont listen to them. 6 months ago I nearly wasnt sitting here typing this today. I couldnt get out the dark hole . That is no way to live and depression I find it the worst. Thats when the beast really comes out and tests your strength. Youve got strength and courage there GG, even without you knowing it. You are still here, you might not be 'living' but you are alive and talking here helps.


I am glad you have some supports in place. We all need support even just that one person though a system would be better. 3 back to back sessions are tough. Ive had 3 of those and ive had a few double sessions and frig me I thought I was going to die afterwards. It was way to much and please remember you have the option to say no. personally I would rather do 2 sessions a week rather than back to back sessions otherwise its too much to process.


I can see your having trouble forming what you want to say but im getting it and hearing you. Its ok to be scared and upset. Triggers are the worst they really are and yes its amazing just how quick things can turn one minute your walking along the next minute your on the floor balling your eyes out and then worrying if someone had seen you making the situation a whole lot worse.


If it helps and gives you that little bit of hope, it does get easier. Ive spoken to people here of their stories and you wouldnt believe some of the things that people have gone through and are here (of course have their bad days ) but they are actually living and not just surviving and that is what I cling to. I have more bad than good days but those good days tell me 'look the sun rises again' there are things that I wouldnt have thought id get through.


You will get there GG, we here believe in you and arent giving up on you one bit, dont give up on yourself.

youve got this! the beast wont win!

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy 🙂

Quote: Please don't be sorry for my life, ( don't know why but those few words just got me crying big time) .
DB, I've come to really and I mean this from my heart really respect you and care for you, I've kinda made you my mentor ( hope that ok). We all need someone to lean on and with your permission I'm leaning on you big time,, maybe I'm leaning to much if so I'm sorry.

Wow I'm honoured, thankyou very much, you're also good for me/us Grandy
If you hadn't connected with me it'd be harder on Suicide thread cause honestly I can see, you can't cause the beasts got you in it's grips but you want to get back up ( plz no one take that to heart, want- from the Black hole is the most important factor & the hardest one to get happening from there) & you're doing what you can with so much to deal with. Unbelievable how people are to eachother. Mutts.

You've in our short time come from wanting to suicide to wanting to get to peace/happiness. Hear ya darl

I hate seeing people hurting. Having been through it a few times & lived hell a multitude of, I know where yous are at & you know I care, you're my project me lady, when we & of course goes without saying your health professionals put the demons to sleep, on the suicide thread people there already in same place or close & how many listeners/future people going there we can give hope to. When it's gone which it does at the bottom, mammoth to get back and it's just words, but we can't let people give up, we've gotta give them reason for it.

I don't mind at all you leaning hun, wouldn't have talked to you or done that thread if I didn't wanna help people & starting to have breakthroughs with emotional control & working out depression I can more so. Still long way off but figuring it out slowly

So pretty much everything that pulls you down, hating yourself, low self esteem etc, it's "IT" (the beast
There's weak & weak imo, the one I talk about at times isn't, not sure how to explain, yeah our vulnerability it feeds on, not weak as in pathetic sooky lala

Believe darl xx

[demonblaster]

Good on ya Starts, you do great posts, been/working through so much too. Like that survivor to survivor

Darl I meant to ask you too when asked Grandy if ok could you post your story in suicide thread, if too hard maybe the post back a bit saying stuff about how it is/been for you too, cause you're surviving & getting stronger & on your way up, again for inspiration to others. Thanks 🙂 ok if not

Grandy thanks, I'll sort it & talk to ya (remind me) in surviving thread re cut/copy/paste

later lovelies

[startingnew]

You want me to write some of my story DB?

i can try... will do later though

Not too sure what to put in it though as in what parts...

Suggestions..?

[demonblaster]

Yes plz honey, if its going to pull you down NO. Not if its going to step you back.

There's threads I wanted to read from beginning but got busy here & havent yet. Yours incl. On your thread your op (original post) did you do your story, cause I've got a few details through reading when I've been there. If so could copy. Or is it in bits on posts. Heard you say at times you've looked back through your thread, has it triggered.If so wise you said later, maybe wait till you're stronger & you Will because you're as well listening doing & not giving up.

When you went through posts did you see growth & healing? I think I know answer

So what I'm after, is your story. And that you're still here making progress which you are from what I've seen. Sorry ...brain..am a wreck

To give hope to others. thanks sweet.

Plz don't feel obliged, we can get around it other ways.

Bhe manner you asked other day. The way you talk to people & are with them. Like your manner

X

[startingnew]

hey DB, it wouldnt pull me down but im not sure what to write as i do have quite a complex story. my csa story is written on the first or second page of my thread. cant quite remember what page it is though but its one or 2.

ill see if i can write my story for you the best i can, im not sure if i can write it on the suicide thread though. i can write it on my thread as everyone there already basically knows everything and will have to put trigger warning on it. is that ok?

yes db there is growth, i went through my entire thread when it was 56 pages its alot longer now lol. it was quite upsetting and i wont be doing that again for a while but i also found alot of answers that i just couldnt find myself and i realise it was already there.

[demonblaster]

Good re growth.

No that's ok lovey, want it on the suicide thread because anyone suicidal would be looking there hopefully and for the one's that are already there, it's for hope but honestly that's ok if you don't think you can do it there. xx

[startingnew]

ok DB, ive written a summarised verision of my story, ill put it on the suicide thread for you and others

[Sophie_M]

Hi everyone, just a reminder that we keep all discussions relating to suicide in the Suicidal Thoughts section of the forums.  This is because discussion of suicide is triggering for some members, and we want content discussing suicide to be clearly signposted for members who don't wish to read it.

This is a great thread about overcoming depression, it would be good if we could get the discussion focused back on managing and overcoming the symptoms of depression that don't relate to suicidal thoughts.

If you want this thread to be more about the suicidal aspects of depression, we will move it to that section.

Thank you!