Times like these are so draining

[Turis]

[MOD NOTE: Original title of this thread was "I feel like this life is not for me"]

Hi

This is not a suicide thread the title is just the best description of how I truly feel today.

I've tried really hard to get better. I've seen doctors and shrinks, been on medication, confided in people and changed a few big things in my life that where dragging me down.

Probably taking myself off my medication a few months ago was a bad idea. I have felt OK though up until these last few weeks. I'm just hoping some more good days come soon I do have very happy days but just none lately.

I just can't help but be upset about my own existence lately. It's just so frustrating having no choice in being born and having all these expectations put on you. I hardly ever take a day off work, I try so hard to be a good person and I never complain to anyone about how hard it is to be so miserable. But I just can't help hating my existence. I know there are people out there doing it worse and it breaks my heart that I can't give then my life. I would do it in a heartbeat because this life is so wasted on me.

I know what I have to do and that's go back to the doctor and try some medication again. I will as soon as I can. I'm just hoping for some happier days soon where I'll feel more motivated to do so. Hopefully those days aren't too far off.

Times like these are so draining. Trying so hard to fix myself and ending up back here, always ending up here. I'm just so tired so many years spent like this. I'm tired of feeling so trapped. Living with this awful disease is so hard and I know one day it will be the death of me.

Here's to better days soon I hope.

Thanks you for reading.

[white knight]

Hi Turis, welcome

many people here know how debilitating it is.

Over many years I've gone totally off .education only to pay the price. For the last few years I've reduced my meds but I will never go totally off them again. If so I'll end up in a bad place again.

Some trouble and depressed minds need that helping hand lifelong. It is a disability. I now take the attitude that I'm close to normal if I take that tablet every night. So why not?.

Other aspects if our lives need to change to get our minds away from being distraught. Hobbies. Sports, passions, environment and relationships all take their toll with our well being. Review these things.

others might chip in here with more suggestions.

Good luck.

Tony WK

[Chris_B]

Hi Turis, welcome to the forums. It's tough when you feel like you don't fit into your own life and don't know what steps to take to get back on track. The forums are a good place to sit while you're working through all this. Some people will suggest things, others will share their own experiences, and everyone is happy just to chat.

I'm glad to hear you're not feeling suicidal currently. I appreciate that your original thread title is a reflection of how you feel at the moment, but that may be misleading for others browsing this section so we've edited it to reflect some of the other sentiments expressed in your original post.

Some of our members can be quite triggered by reading things suggesting someone is suicidal, so we keep threads discussing those topics in their own section here.

I hope you'll post again soon.

[Turis]

Thank you for your posts guys. I have gone up a bit since I started this thread. Probably my lowest point of this current episode but it did feel good to vent.

I'm still a bit up and down but slowly making my way back up the hill. You guys no how it is.

Going back to the doctor to get some more meds is one of a few things I need to do at the moment. I have a few important tasks to complete and just finding it hard to get them done and ita really giving me anxiety. I have made steps forward in these tasks but the end seems mikes off.

Anyway same old I guess I will get them done and wonder why it was so hard and why I tortured myself yet again . When will I ever learn hehe.

Thanks again

[Nickname_65BD5CCF-CA54-46]

> I know there are people out there doing it worse

Remember it's not a misery Olympics. Pain is relative, and how -you- feel is important regardless of what other people are suffering with.