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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jackbear Overthinking myself to death
  • replies: 2

I'm 23. I've had a few relationships fall apart all for various reasons, I've fallen for toxic people who've completely destroyed me and turned off for basically the past 2 years. Recently met a girl, and suddenly felt okay again, all the typical dep... View more

I'm 23. I've had a few relationships fall apart all for various reasons, I've fallen for toxic people who've completely destroyed me and turned off for basically the past 2 years. Recently met a girl, and suddenly felt okay again, all the typical depression bs went away and i was motivated to do things, spend time with her etc. I started seeing a future. Then as it goes (Ain't no fairytale story here boys and girls) she told me she still has feelings for someone else and would like to keep things between us just friends, as if we hadn't already gone way, way past that already. It's stupid, writing this out and reading it back I sound like an angsty teenager again. I don't know why, I can't figure it out but something, somewhere along the line has turned every single person I've ever been close with away. Friends, family and lovers. I haven't been happy since I was prepubescent, had a really rough rural australian upbringing, overweight and apathetic. I've lost it all, I'm fit and healthy, I have a job and I perform music but I don't care about them. I don't have anyone to talk to, to care for or just hug, every time I've felt loved it's been short and/or destructive. I'm unbelievably lonely and I've gotten really bloody good at hiding it. I don't know why I'm even bothering writing this out, it's just made me face the fact and tear up like a sook. Im not sure what the point of this whole thing was either. Maybe it's just a journal entry that noone can find and be like "Hey jack remember when you were a little bitch"

77 I'm not sure If I'm depressed or I just lead a miserable life.
  • replies: 2

My schedule has been just wake up tired at 7:am get dressed, get to school, come home, do stuff on my computer to kill time and go back to sleep again. I don't keep track of the date or the month. Its either Monday - Sunday and its [year]. Don't have... View more

My schedule has been just wake up tired at 7:am get dressed, get to school, come home, do stuff on my computer to kill time and go back to sleep again. I don't keep track of the date or the month. Its either Monday - Sunday and its [year]. Don't have any outside hobbies due to most of what I'm interested in being not available where I live. I don't really have any plans for the future Job wise as I'm unremarkable at everything and I'm not passionate about anything. I also cant go the money route as my average grades completely tanked due to personal reasons. I'm barely scraping by at this point. I don't even know what I'm working towards. I'm also have ASD so I have to work twice as hard to get half as far and Most jobs are completely off the table. Ill also never have a relationship or life a full life because of it. I cant do a thing to change that by taking meds.

Turis Times like these are so draining
  • replies: 4

[MOD NOTE: Original title of this thread was "I feel like this life is not for me"] Hi This is not a suicide thread the title is just the best description of how I truly feel today. I've tried really hard to get better. I've seen doctors and shrinks,... View more

[MOD NOTE: Original title of this thread was "I feel like this life is not for me"] Hi This is not a suicide thread the title is just the best description of how I truly feel today. I've tried really hard to get better. I've seen doctors and shrinks, been on medication, confided in people and changed a few big things in my life that where dragging me down. Probably taking myself off my medication a few months ago was a bad idea. I have felt OK though up until these last few weeks. I'm just hoping some more good days come soon I do have very happy days but just none lately. I just can't help but be upset about my own existence lately. It's just so frustrating having no choice in being born and having all these expectations put on you. I hardly ever take a day off work, I try so hard to be a good person and I never complain to anyone about how hard it is to be so miserable. But I just can't help hating my existence. I know there are people out there doing it worse and it breaks my heart that I can't give then my life. I would do it in a heartbeat because this life is so wasted on me. I know what I have to do and that's go back to the doctor and try some medication again. I will as soon as I can. I'm just hoping for some happier days soon where I'll feel more motivated to do so. Hopefully those days aren't too far off. Times like these are so draining. Trying so hard to fix myself and ending up back here, always ending up here. I'm just so tired so many years spent like this. I'm tired of feeling so trapped. Living with this awful disease is so hard and I know one day it will be the death of me. Here's to better days soon I hope. Thanks you for reading.

Craig87 a very shallow depression
  • replies: 5

Hi, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. I'm a 29 year old Male. I've been dealing with depression since my early teens. I guess it started when I first realized that I wasn't attractive.. I was/am just an average looking guy.. nothing special... View more

Hi, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. I'm a 29 year old Male. I've been dealing with depression since my early teens. I guess it started when I first realized that I wasn't attractive.. I was/am just an average looking guy.. nothing special. I just have never really figured out how to deal with this. I find now that it's gotten to the point where I stay inside as often as possible to avoid seeing happy couples, or even just women in general because if I see a girl I find attractive while I'm out.. my mind instantly goes straight in to the whole "why even bother looking, she would never be interested in you.. no one ever will" mode and then that's me done for the day. I'll spend the whole day hating myself and wishing I was someone else.. I don't even fantasize with my self included anymore because it just seems so unbelievable that any girl would find me attractive anymore. I tried tinder and various online dating sites which were ok when I started back in my early 20s. Not many people used them as they do now so the people on there tended to be more serious about it. but now.. I think those kind of sites just don't work for average guys anymore.. now that EVERYONE is on them there's just way more "better" options for women now, so there's no need to settle with someone like me anymore. On top of all this I just feel guilty that my depression is because of such a stupid shallow reason. I want to be happy with myself.. but I don't ever see that happening. I feel resentment towards couples.. not them directly. but the fact that they have what I don't and wont. I know some people live quite happily alone for their lives, I am just struggling a little to accept that as my possible fate. Sorry for the ramble

Berenice I really don't know what to do any more
  • replies: 6

Life is hard. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for 14 years now but I've hit my hardest time yet. Severe anxiety and panic attacks forced me to stop working in Dec last year. After this, I found out my partner who is supporting me, h... View more

Life is hard. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for 14 years now but I've hit my hardest time yet. Severe anxiety and panic attacks forced me to stop working in Dec last year. After this, I found out my partner who is supporting me, has a hefty amount of debt. We are struggling just to buy enough groceries every fortnight, let alone seeing my psychiatrist or anything else for that matter. I can't access disability because my partner earns too much. I can't get better... They think he has inflammatory arthritis too. He hates his job but to leave he needs a redundancy to pay off his debt. I feel so trapped and so useless, like I'm barely living and I'm not sure I want to continue fighting. I love my partner dearly after being with someone emotionally abusive previously and who left me for another woman. But the weight of everything is dragging me so far down and his debt makes me feel utterly trapped, with no end in sight. Like I can't live my life until this burden is lifted. I'm so upset and I know he is too and it feels like life keeps kicking us down over and over again. I just have no idea what to do.. I need help but it seems to get it you have to be off the deep end and I don't want it to get to that. What am I going to do?

Clues_Of_Blue Anger and depression
  • replies: 36

Something that has come up recently in conversations for me is anger. There are so many resources regarding managing or controlling anger, or about what to do when it is visited upon you by others, but what about the matter of simply possessing it, a... View more

Something that has come up recently in conversations for me is anger. There are so many resources regarding managing or controlling anger, or about what to do when it is visited upon you by others, but what about the matter of simply possessing it, and what it does to us? I have no trouble controlling anger in its outward expression. For me, that is the problem. I've spent so much time repressing it, it's on automatic mute. And do you know what that does? It burrows in and turns on me. I'm finding it's a huge catalyst for my depression, as it just skips the venting phase almost entirely and goes straight to self-destruction. I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one here that happens to. My little epiphany a day or two ago was this: I have a right to my anger. We all do. There are things in everyday life that make us angry. There are huge and abnormal circumstances that cause us rage. Whether it's justified or not, we feel what we feel, but it's like any sort of expression of that these days is some kind of massive taboo. Of course I'm not endorsing taking it out on your loved ones, or beating up the guy who stuffs up your change at the servo. But I've found that just talking about it, so many people will laugh it off, or try to redirect it, or tell you to calm down, or it will be okay, and all that sort of stuff. At what point did we lose the right to express anger in any way whatsoever? This thread is for us to discuss our anger. Vent. Talk about what really grinds our gears, and about any way in which anger has impacted our lives and our depression. To share ways we know of letting out our anger without hurting anyone. I could certainly use some advice on getting it out, and some help with getting out of that automatic habit of turning it in on myself. Anything you have to share on the subject, this is the place for it.

Jesse1 I am absolutely terrified
  • replies: 32

This is my first post ever on BB I suffer from chronic depression and I have turned to alcohol to self medicate although it is getting way out of hand now. I am currently 25 and only on centrelink. I want to get into rehab but there is a long wait. A... View more

This is my first post ever on BB I suffer from chronic depression and I have turned to alcohol to self medicate although it is getting way out of hand now. I am currently 25 and only on centrelink. I want to get into rehab but there is a long wait. All I seem to do these days is just be on my computer, drink way too much wine and putting every day of my life off. I am just hoping to talk to someone about this and what I could possibly do to better my life. I am desperate. Thank you for reading, Jesse

anxious_about_everything Sleep and depression
  • replies: 16

Hi Community, I have been suffering from poor sleep for years. Recently I have been diagnosed with depression and told that my sleep issues are as a result of the depression. I was also diagnosed with sleep apnoea which is well controlled with CPAP. ... View more

Hi Community, I have been suffering from poor sleep for years. Recently I have been diagnosed with depression and told that my sleep issues are as a result of the depression. I was also diagnosed with sleep apnoea which is well controlled with CPAP. Has anyone else been through this? Is it possible to have a decent/restful nights sleep with depression? I feel like a zombie and the depression is getting hard to handle. Only 72 hours until my first psychiatrist session - not that i'm counting!!

Jebecabob L.O.S.T
  • replies: 15

I don't know who I am anymore or where I belong, it is only until you get to this point where you truly realise that the world is a big place and you in comparison are very small. I have gotten good at faking smiles and conversation and pretend I hav... View more

I don't know who I am anymore or where I belong, it is only until you get to this point where you truly realise that the world is a big place and you in comparison are very small. I have gotten good at faking smiles and conversation and pretend I have so much life in me, where all I can truly feel (behind closed doors) is the life drain from me, sounds more intense when you write it down, don't get me wrong it isn't like I walk around sad all the times, there are times where I actual feel like I am there, present and happy, this may last a whole day or it could be hours... I don't have anyone to talk to, I have tried so hard, but I feel like I am constantly letting people down including myself. I think this is the first time I have said this in a way where I now become instantly vulnerable, I never let myself get to that stage, always having walls up and only letting certain people see the real, deep me... But here we are... These words have been said and now I am weightless for the first time, maybe I don't need to change or find who I am, maybe if I keep letting my wall down slowly I might just find my way back to who I used to be.

krs04 Unsure if I need help
  • replies: 3

This is my first time posting anything like this - I just am feeling lower each day / week / month / year. Each year I think "this is it" and something good will happen. It doesn't. I feel like more things keep happening to me. I sometimes feel like ... View more

This is my first time posting anything like this - I just am feeling lower each day / week / month / year. Each year I think "this is it" and something good will happen. It doesn't. I feel like more things keep happening to me. I sometimes feel like I am just a lazy whinger, but other times I think that should one more thing happen, I won't be able to cope. I live in a constant angry, bitter state, I hear the news on TV and just think this world sucks. My life hasn't been a hard one, but I have gone through a LOT in my 35 years and I'm angry that others don't haven't gone through what I have, yet they have everything I long for. I KNOW there are people going through WAY worse than I am, I shouldn't complain, I have a roof over my head, and food in my belly and a son I love. But I can't stop hating my life. In a nutshell - my father died when I was 5 - I was bullied to the point of contemplating suicide in grade 8. They bashed me, spread rumours, and told me I was "ugly, worthless, and nobody would ever want to be with me or marry me" - we were homeless for 6 months after a con man took everything my mother had - I suffered anorexia for 2 years - I failed uni due to extreme anxiety - I suffered from a major health condition at 27 - Cushing's Disease, leading to 2 brain surgeries & 6 weeks of radiation - I know have a life-long medical condition requiring medication. I've had 2 miscarriages - My partner of 4 years broke up with me a week before my 30th birthday (after I thought he was going to propose) saying he was still not sure I was the "the one"- we got back together 4 months later only for him to leave me again - I then found out I was pregnant & had a child - we tried to make it work but he abused me emotionally, continually breaking promises and getting drunk - now unable to have more children - partner is back with his married ex-girlfriend who I always felt like he was waiting to come back to him, which is why I was never "the one" for him. I constantly am in tears, I feel so worthless. I now overeat and use food as comfort, which, with my medical stuff, keeps me piling on weight. I feel ugly, worthless, and should I ever meet another man, I cannot give him children of his own. All I ever wanted was a family, I see my friends with their husbands - they haven't gone through what I have. I really feel like I can't take any more - but question is this depression or just a big case of the "feel sorry for myself". I don't know what to do.