Thought my closest friend understood, she doesn't.

[Hopefullseeking]

I was having a Messenger conversation with my closest friend, she has been a great support and thought she Got me, until last night.

The last ccouple of weeks have been better, l know shock, and l thought I had turned that corner. This friends sister even commented on how good I looked.

Last couple of days haven't been good, have felt

really low again, fortunately I know the trigger but even knowing hadn't helped.

I told my friend I was feeling low again

, and how l thought l had finally turned the corner then she said 'depends on how much you want to turn that corner' then she immediately said Be strong. I think she realized she had said the wrong thing but I still felt hurt.

Do you have to have depression

to understand what someone else is going through? Feel like I can't talk to her anymore. I am not going to lose her friendship but l feel different towards her now. Am l being to sensitive?

Has this happened to any

one else? What did you do? I feel mire weird than ever now.

Anne

[pipsy]

Hi there, Anne.  I'm pleased your mum is aware of the situation, so does warn you of brother's impending visit.  It sounds as though she is doing her best to make up for not 'being there' when the abuse was happening.  I suppose mentally 'psyching' yourself for these 'get togethers' is difficult and once the get together is done, settling down again would be rather like letting air out of a tyre.  It's good you have forgiven her too.  The position would've been difficult for her, son attacking daughter.  With my situation, my mother loved my brother so much, wouldn't hear a word against him (she knew he was abusing me), it was harder for me.  She actually protected him.  After she passed, she left him everything (talk about rewarding someone, regardless).  I don't hate her, I feel nothing for him either.  Unlike you, I don't ever see him, don't want to.  I suppose as long as you have nothing to fear and you don't have to really acknowledge him, apart from 'hello', 'goodbye', make the perfunctory 'small' talk.  Once the duty there is done, spend time with other family members.  One thing which might help you here.  The abuse inflicted on you was his way of showing his power over you.  Now that you're older, an adult, that power no longer exists.  You have the power back to choose for yourself how much you interact with him.  Either just hello, goodbye as I already said, or completely ignoring him.  Ask your psych about ways to tactfully ignore him, she may have some useful guidelines. 

Bye the way have a great Easter with your mum.  I'm going to 'chill out' watching movies on t.v.  Saving up to go away, so have to think a bit about spending.

Have a huge Easter egg to nibble on this arvo. 

[Hopefullseeking]

Pipsy,

My heart breaks for the little girl who was abused, as if that is not enough to have your protector your mum know of the abuse and not do anything is horrific

. Then she rubs salt into the wound by leaving your brother everything, how dare she.

My brother never pphysically hurt me but incest not only takes your innocence it warp s your mind. If my parents had of known they would have stopped it.

Lately l have had a run of real bad luck and have not hhandled it very well. I know I have slipped in the last month and I hope it is not related to my reduction in medication. My diet has suffered and my mood has dropped.

And guess who has been there for me my friend who says the wrong thing. She means well and l feel she believes she is saying the right thing.

Anyway I hope you had a good Easter and didn't get ssick from all the Easter eggs.

Hugs

Anne