Thought I'd give this place a go.. SO heres me.

[SirDepressedALot]

Me;
Manic Depressive
General Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

So I work 4 days a week, its hard but its manageable for the time being.
On my days off I go to the gym for an hour or more as I've been trying to get back into shape was 95kg at the start of the year and I'm down to 78kg - yay for small wins but thats pretty much all I do. I work and I go to the gym on my days off, rinse and repeat.
I've lost all my (2-3) close school friends over the years and now I'm stuck in a city that I absolutely hate.
Making friends with anyone has got to be the hardest thing it takes time to be friends with people but generally I've never had many friends and a lot of people just dont seem to like me. I've grown so used to being along these days but at the same time really long to have a friend. Animals are great but its not the same. Simply put the dating scene for me also is - not good.
I'm just getting really over everything at the moment.
I've come such a long way in the past 10 months from having social anxiety to where I was failing my classes as I'd be having panic attacks sitting in my car unable to go in before class to now working in retail dealing with people on almost a daily basis. I guess I had too higher expectations for how things would be.. Its great the my anxiety isnt as much of an issue anymore but I really thought things would be different. I feel like I could so easily crash and burn right now that everything I've achieved is slowly just slipping out of my hands.

[PamelaR]

Hi SirDepressedALot and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Sorry to hear you feel you could so easily crash and burn and that you think that everything you've achieved is slowly slipping away. Mental health conditions are not easy are they? I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. And just when I think I'm travelling really well, something happens and down I go again. It took me a long time to realise that - anxiety and depression are things I had to learn to manage. They just dont go away and never return.

You'll find quite a lot of people here who experience the same as you. There is one good thread - Depression: Fight It or Embrace It. Have a look when you feel up to it. Also feel free to browse our discussions and join in if and when you want to.

Is there anyone you can talk to, e.g. your doctor or a health professional? Talking I find helps, I probably don't do it often enough. I tend to talk inside my head and tell myself stories, that are often not true. This of course sends my depression and anxiety into a spiral.

Hope some of this helps SirDepressedALot. You're not alone. Keep reaching out if and when you want to. No pressure.

Kind regards

PamelaR