This isn't getting better and I don't know what to do anymore.

[cgp_bs]

Has anyone else dealt with feeling like your psychologist just doesn't care for you?
Back in very early February, I decided to make the jump and speak to my GP about my issues with mental health.
Firstly, they shrugged it off like it was just a moment I was having with my life and that with some therapy, it'll go away.

I was referred to a local mental health psychology clinic with the initial intent to have my first appointment in May.
I felt I couldn't do this so I decided to see if they were able to refer me to another psychologist. Early April. Okay sweet.

I wait 2 months to finally arrive to this clinic. I talk to him about my current concerns and I get hit with "I don't care about you, I only care about you getting better". I understood what he was trying to imply but I left my session not feeling good from that statement. I get their job is to care about getting better but maybe that's just a sign to needing a psychologist that's a bit more warmer rather than blunt and factual.
He was my 6th psych, my first that wasn't apart of my works EAP - I had been recommended to get off of the EAP and get a mental health care plan instead, to help deal with more long-term issues.

I've contacted the organisation to see about a next session date with my psychologist.
No reply.
I leave a voicemail later on, no reply.
5 days later, nothing.
I try contact again, nothing...

I don't know what to do.
I had my first major breakdown a couple of days ago where I finally broke down in front of my partner (I'm not an emotional person ever).
All I kept repeating in my head was "I don't want to live anymore, I don't want to do this anymore". That really scared me.

I had been prescribed medication from my GP for other anxiety reasons but was refusing to take them due to the nature and addictive aspect of the medication... I had to take one. I had never wanted to actually scream out loud that I wanted to die but a couple of days ago was the first time.

I'm currently a carer for my partners father after he's recently had a stroke so I'm very much house-ridden with him, for the next 3-4 weeks. Essentially weekends are my time to get out but I know my specific GP is never there on weekends.

I don't know what to do.
I hate this feeling. I hate feeling worthless.
None of my friends seem to care... I tried to make a thread in our chat group about a place we could all vent and they instantly decided to spam it with offensive and pathetic jargon.

I'm over this.

[Sophie_M]

Hi cgp_bs,

Welcome to our friendly online community - please know that this is a safe, non-judgemental space to share how you are feeling and what you're going through with others who may have been through similar situations. We are sorry to hear that you have been struggling and it sounds like you've been doing your best to get the help and support and not getting good traction. It's also hard when you're supporting others and as a carer that can be tough. You've done the absolute right thing by reaching out here and continuing to seek advice and suport. 

With what you've disclosed about the intrusive thoughts of not wanting to be here and actually verbalising this, it would certainly be very scary. For this reason we would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments like that you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). 

Thanks again for reaching out, it takes corage to talk about how you are feeling, and we are very grateful that you chose to reach out to our valued community. Hopefully a few of our community members will be by over the next few days to welcome you. Let us know how you're travelling. 
 

[Guest_206]

Hi there cgp_bs,

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with the psychologist and their organisation. Their comment sounds like a very strange comment to make - I have no idea why they would have thought that would have been a helpful comment to make. It sounds like a very frustrating experience also that they are not calling you back.

It's great that you've reached out here because it's important for you to know that you are supported and cared for.

X g

[Pete66]

Over the last 4 years i have spoken to 4 or 5 psychologists, I found none of them helpful

I am having problems dealing with becoming an amputee, and healing not going as quick as I would like
the last psychologist I spoke to just told me to 'it is something I will have to get used to', and while I agree, what i wanted was some tools to help me adjust

[cgp_bs]

Hello Guest_206 and Pete66.

Thank you both for your replies.

I'm incredibly sorry to hear that, Pete. It seemed absolutely absurd and I don't understand that type of communication to someone can be effective at all. I understand from a literal standpoint, they'd just be wanting to be transparent and honest with you. Just seems absurd to put it in a very intimidating way.
I hope you've been feeling better and sourced a new psychologist! (I assume you went for a new one!)

Update from my end: Still haven't been called. Forgotten about.
I know I'm clearly capable of calling them, myself, it's definitely just frustrating and I've had no willpower and eagerness to want to reach out.
.. but I will try again, tomorrow. The longer I wait, the longer this takes.

[geoff]

Hello Cgp_bs and Pete, if a psychologist had said to me 'I don't care about you, I only care about you getting better' or ''it is something I will have to get used to' (Pete), I would be mortified by these comments and be upfront to them and say please find me someone who can counsel me without judgement.

It would be impossible for these two counsellors to benefit you at all, because those comments would be going through your mind, while in and out of any session, it's certainly not appropriate for the healing you're after, I am really sorry.

It's not up to the psychologist to be choosy, they have a service which they're qualified to perform and if they didn't want to counsel you then they should suggest someone else.

Everybody has a mind and it's not how we look, if we need help and found a psych then it's their duty to help us in any way possible, it doesn't matter if we're wearing different coloured clothing.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Willow Jude]

Hi cgp_bs,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, I can imagine it must be very tough.

It's great that you've identified a need for psychological help and that you've been proactive in seeking it out, so I understand it then must be hard dealing with what has been happening with your psychologist. It sounds like you've been struggling with some distressing thoughts, so, in my opinion, continuing with psychological treatment would probably be a good idea. However, it's totally understandable that you may be feeling unsure about doing so with your current psychologist. All I can suggest is evaluating whether you feel like they are a good fit for you or not. If you do feel comfortable continuing with them, that's totally okay, but if not it's also completely fine to seek out someone that is a better fit. I've made the decision to move on from a number of counsellors/psychologists who weren't the right fit for me, and I'm glad I did because it allowed me to receive the help that did work best for me.

I hope that you're able to access the help that you want sooner rather than later, and in a way that is going to be the most beneficial for you. Feel free to keep us updated, and continue checking in if you need further support.

-WJ

[Backtheblue91]

Hi cgp_bs,

I empathise with you in that regard. It took me many many attempts to find the right counsellor/therapist for me and I too felt like I was just another case than a purpose. Having recently lost yet another friend to suicide, It is very disheartening to see clinicians in that field appearing falling short of applying personalised services for whatever reasons.

But please don't give up. I know I might sound like a broken record but your life is only getting started. You have so much to offer the world. And I pray you are able to navigate through these dark times and come through victorious.  Faith is what gets me through each day, even when I can't see change, even when all seems hopeless. Faith is what gets me out of bed every morning, and my desire to help others.

I wish you all the best,

and if you need to, please get in touch with BB crisis support if you feel like you are losing the struggle. We'll be there to help you. You are stronger than you know.

Believe that!

warm regards,

Rhys

[cgp_bs]

Wow, I feel so overwhelmed from everyone's replies, thank you so much for even thinking of commenting on this thread. It's comforting to know you're not alone.

I know it's always a bit of a cliché when people generally will just support you and say that you're not alone in this, which has been comforting, to say the least but I feel as though from my general circle of close friends that I've come out to (minorly), haven't really come across even this supportive, at all. So again, thank you.

It sucks to feel forgotten and not cared about... I was just in a chat with a group of friends and two people mentioned they had a bad day. I was one of them. Nothing was mentioned about me but the other person got a million and one questions about why their day was shit and to elaborate further.
I couldn't help but feel worthless and forgotten about from this situation. It's selfish but I couldn't help it.

Also, update: braced myself to contact my psychologists organisation to engage again about organising another session... Left a voicemail, explained it's been exactly two weeks since my last appointment, I was told I'd be sent documentation about common practices with wellbeing, etc.. to read from my psychologist the day after my appointment... I got it this morning... It's been two weeks. Is this a joke?
But yeah, left message, no contact back. This is the 3rd time I've tried to reach out. Did I do something to these people? I don't understand.
I'm thinking of organising another appointment with my GP and see what I can do elsewhere. This is a joke.

I hope everyone here is well though.
The week has been okay but I'm scared and paranoid when I fall back into the pathetic rut, empty feeling... Felt it a little tonight but it's not been too bad yet.

Again, thank you to everyone here.

[geoff]

Hello Cgp_bs, thanks for getting back to us, and yes it is most unfortunate when we're told something will happen by our psychologist and it doesn't or it's done much longer later than we were told.

I understand these people have many people to treat, but you can't say something to anybody suffering from any illness and not following through with it, we pay them to help us and they should respect how fragile we are feeling.

An excuse may be provided but if you book another psychologist then you have to start all over again, and you might not be able to connect with them, that's not an easy decision to make.

Best wishes.

Geoff.