Things are hard

[z0z]

I've had depression for 3 years now and I've expierenced the very low lows, and I've had times where life has improved almost back to a normal state. At the moment things aren't good, my energy is so low and I really have no motivation to do anything i like 😝 which surprise surprise- is making me sadder. I've been seeing a psych for two years now and though I feel I can manage a lot of the mental "self talk" side of depression the physical effects of mental illness on my body and mind is rough. I'm constantly tired no matter how much I rest, my mood is so all over the place theres not much i can do to control it. My appeteite is either massive or tiny, and overall I just have the motivation and energy to do nothing. I really started to feel down again in March and since its been almost 5 months of consistently trying to improve my mood I think its time to turn to something else, and that's medication. I would love to hear how medication has really helped some people and their stories around it, what worked and what didn't (though i know its different for everybody)

My biggest fear is medication "changing me" which sounds stupid because obviously the whole point is to alter some funny brain chemicals but I'm more scared in a sense of "losing who I am" and making me feel numb. It's a bit of a silly fear, but it's what has been holding me back for a while. Any advice is appreciated! 🙂 stay well everybody 

[ecomama]

Hey zOz, welcome to the forums. I hope you get some good replies to your thread and look around to see what other threads interest you too! 

I've had depression for years, don't know how many. It comes and goes in waves really. I also have Complex PTSD and am managing that too lol. I've had SOooooo much support from MH professionals but the 2 times I was prescribed meds, they didn't work at all. Starting off at an eighth of the dose and was unable to wake up. 
My physiology just wasn't compatible. 

I've used other techniques which is hard work but very worthwhile. Ofcourse. 

We aren't allowed to talk about specific medications on BB. 

None of your fears are silly. People do report these types of changes and for some it's still worthwhile to embark on the medication journey. 

I encourage you to share your journey with us. 

Having a good GP is important, one who listens and can fine tune things to meet your needs. 
I wouldn't be afraid to try meds if it's what you feel you need. Talk to your GP about the researched side effects (if any) and read up about the substance too, on reputable sites ofcourse.  

You can ALWAYS have a talk with the Counsellors on the BB Helpline too. They're experts in supporting us with our struggles and can give some sound advice also.

We're here for you which ever direction you take.

NB: Self-care is a researched way to heal from or subdue the effects of many MH issues. 

Looking forward to hearing more from you, 
EM

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear z0z,

I am sorry that you’ve been struggling for years with depression that has gotten worse over the past 5 months...

I can relate to most of what you have written, and that’s that depression takes away all our enjoyment in doing things we used to live to do as well as zero motivation and the constant tiredness....

I went onto medication around 4 years ago...I had a huge fear of taking medication for my depression and anxiety, that it took a breakdown in a supermarket and several other mental health things going wrong, that I was hospitalised and started onto medication... Which I will admit did take the edge of my unhealthy thoughts...gave me more energy...but didn’t help with my lack of motivation...or enjoying things I used to enjoy....

I do know that medication works differently for everyone....I think that giving medication is something that is worth trying, especially if your mental health is impacting on your daily life...If it doesn’t work, at least you gave it a go...As our lovely ecomama suggested, having a good and honest talk to your Dr. about how you’re feeling, your thoughts and how your mental health is impacting your daily life...is a great idea and a good place to start...

Please, z0z..Talk here when ever your feeling up to it...We are all here to help support you as best we can...

My kindest thoughts with my care dear zOz..

Grandy..

[therising]

Hi zOz

Definitely torturous, a depressing lack of energy and motivation. We're designed to have an energetic connection to life, so when the connection's lost for one reason or another, you can really feel that.

I found the journey with antidepressants can be both good and not so good. During my years in depression, trialed a number of meds. First one worked wonders until I stopped taking it in the lead up to becoming pregnant with my first child. Failed to have the same effect after she was born. Then trialed about 4 other different types yet none made a difference. The trial and error process needs to be managed carefully in my opinion. It can start to become depressing, based on the disappointment factor. I found the first one, when it worked, liberated me in helping me return to my natural self. So, a med that works beautifully can help you become more of who you naturally are, as opposed to changing you into someone you don't recognise.

I found it pays to question what can cause a depressing lack of energy. Can it be a depressing deficiency that's coinciding with depression?

• Sleep related deficiency, such as apnea, insomnia, irregular sleep patterns etc interfering with restoring the body's energy systems overnight?
• A depressing vitamin/mineral/chemical deficiency can be overlooked (B12, iron, thyroid related etc)
• A depressing lack of refueling through hydration and diet. While water energises every cell in our body to excited/highly active levels, mixing the chemistry in food with our own internal chemistry can create significant chemical/energetic reactions
• A lack of kinetic energy? A work up of energy can create more energy. Powers up our cells, like a battery recharger powers up a battery cell. Exercise produces energy. Hard to achieve when there's next to no energy to start with
• A depressing lack of inspiration? Talking about the kind that alters your mind and sends a powerful charge through you, putting you 'in charge'

etc.

Glad to hear you won't settle for the lack of energy anymore. Not settling is a game changer.