The deafening sound loneliness

[Lou75]

Hi ,

over the past 2 years I've suffered panic attacks and anxiety , which I sort help via cognitive therapy through a psychiatrist.

Unfortunately now , the old black dog has coming creeping in and I now suffer from depression.. I didn't recognise the symptoms and put them down to bad days . It was the loneliness and feelings of nothing that kept reoccurring , my GP has medicated me now.

Im surrounded by wonderful family and friends who are loving and caring . I own my own business with my partner of almost 20 years , with 2 perfect kids and I am always busy and social.

I know I hold my partner accountable for the way I feel , even though he can also be my biggest supporter. I know that stress from our business has contributed to the way I feel - worthless if things are perfect or don't go as planned ....

The nothingness is so unfamiliar to me , and hiding behind my smile is my biggest security blanket as no one would ever guess that I have black days , when I let it in and it stays with me .

How do others cope with the loneliness, even though being always been surrounded by people who Love you .

thanks

[Ken1]

Hi Lou75,

Unfortunately I can't provide a clear cut answer for you.

I'm sorry about your additional load of having to cope with depression now as well. I hope that the medication is working for you!

Do you think you're pushing your partner away on account of how you feel? Could that at all contribute to your feelings of loneliness?

It's horrible how no matter how supported you can feel, none of it seems to make a difference.

I experienced a heavy loneliness when I went through depression and anxiety - even though I had an amazing support system. The only thing that seemed to help me was when my mental state improved and I started feeling happy again. This was achieved through spending a lot of time on myself and doing things that would boost my seratonin levels!

Sorry I can't offer anything better - but that genuinely did help me feel more connected and less lonely.

Feel free to respond back! More than happy to offer whatever I can.

Bonnie

[Just Sara]

Evening Lou and welcome to our caring BB forum community;

Loneliness sucks big time!!!

I have family/friends too, but when that black dog starts to growl, I'm curled up in a doona cocoon on the lounge watching lifestyle telly.

Unlike you, I don't have a partner; I live alone. But in saying this, the kind of lonely that hits while others are present can be worse because you've got them to contend with as well as yourself. By this I mean, it's embarrassing to go thru it in front of people and then have to feel sorry for them. At least that's what I do.

It's also really common to experience depression after anxiety/panic has settled. Bloody good work btw...they can be debilitating. If you think about how many chemicals it takes to create and sustain a panic or anxiety attack, and then what the body goes thru when those chemicals aren't firing anymore, depression is probably understandable. Yeah?

I've been in that phase for a while now, my depression is beginning to wane. I thought about all the muscles I use when anxious; clenching teeth, gripping fists, jaw and chest for instance. Then the adrenaline drops, and I put on weight without changing my diet, and my hormones are playing up. My body's changing, it takes time to transition.

Humans want instant gratification, but that's in fairy tales I'm afraid. It takes patience, gentleness and kindness towards ourselves (and others) to get thru it. Your partner's still with you, which means they're willing to wait it out...are you?

Keep in touch...

Sara

[geoff]

hello Lou, if you suffer from anxiety/depression then you will feel lonely, simply because you hide it from everybody and don't want to let anyone in to see the dark cloud which you are seeing.
Being in business with your partner can create many problems, my wife of 25 years and I could never work together, we always had different opinions, but even so, it was lonely, because I or her mention on another way to do things, it basically didn't work.
Depression and anxiety will lock you away, making you feel as though you're in a dark room by yourself, even though there could be people around you enjoying themselves, laughing, joking or whatever, but can you actually hear what they are saying, or would you remember what has been said, no that's what loneliness means, and so does pretending to everyone that there is nothing wrong.
Hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

[Lou75]

Thanks Ken

Yes I've never actually broken down the reasons for the loneliness. Being in a dark room Is pretty much summing it up

My black dog has shifted for the time being , I'm sure to return one day , however for now I remain hopeful and strong , however long it will last

thanks for your kind response . It has helped provide some clarity

lou75