So I'm 17 years old in my last year of high school and I honestly just want it to be over. Throughout my whole schooling life, I've always looked forward to this year, thinking it would be the best year of my life. Needless to say, I am very underwhelmed with the experience.
So last week I discovered that my best friends had made a group chat without me and were using it to talk badly about me behind my back. I had noticed that something was wrong because they had started acting distant, ignoring me, finding excuses to not be around me etc. I considered the idea that they maybe they had made the group chat but brushed it off, thinking that it was all in my head and I was just reading into it.
But I was at a party one night and I saw the group chat on each of their phones, I saw one of my friends opening the chat and it was just the four of them in the chat, so I know it wasn't for another reason. They realised that I had found out about the group chat and didn't talk to me at all for the rest of the night, although they never really talked to me in the first place. The day after I message them about it, explaining that I was really upset and asking if they could at least tell me what I had done to hurt them.
None of them could really give me a straight answer but it had something to do with them thinking I was mean. (for context, my friends and I had this thing where we all would jokingly insult each other, it was never ill-intend and was all out of love). I didn't really understand because we were all mean to each other it was kind of our thing.
Since then, they have apologised for making the chat and we are kind of back on good terms. But recently they all went to someones party that I wasn't invited to (the guy doesn't like me, I thought we were friends but oh well). At school they keep talking about the party and pulling people aside so they can talk in private. It feels like they're going out of their way to leave me out and it's making me worry that maybe the group chat has started up again. I have major anxiety about what people think about me so this is kind of freaking me out.
I'm not the most popular person and these are the only friends I have, so I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Hopefully this helps 🙂
