Stuck

[AkienA]

I'm not sure if I am even posting in the right form

i can't even explan what's wrong, I am all stuck up inside my head. Everything has become almost pointless and there is little joy in life.

[mizaru]

Hi AkienA,

I completely understand how you feel. It's a really difficult feeling to enunciate, but you've done a pretty good job of it. And it can be so confusing and frustrating, to say the least, especially if you've been dealing with it for a long time. I think a lot of people who use this forum probably have felt the same way as you at some point in their life, so I think you have definitely posted in the right place.

Just wanted to ask if you have or have considered talking to someone about the way you feel? Like someone professional. Or even just someone close to you. 6 years ago I told my mum that I was feeling essentially exactly what you said you're feeling and it was like the biggest weight off my chest. Going to a psychologist/counsellor can seem kind of scary or final but if you've been feeling like this for a really long time it could actually maybe help a little. A lot of people say they aren't the type to want to talk about their feelings with a stranger. And if this is you, you don't have to do that. Even just mentioning to your GP that you're concerned you may be depressed is enough. They can discuss medical options with you instead of therapy. And of course using online forums can often be a good support system.

I also wanted to say it's easy to be discouraged and feel that you'll never feel ok again. And to blame yourself, to think that it's your fault you feel so low. But it isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault. And even though it seems like you'll never feel joy again, I promise you will. Don't ever feel ashamed to ask for help or that somehow you've done something to deserve this. Because this isn't you. The you who can feel joy and who can see the point to life is still there.

[QldMouse]

Hi AkienA,

Welcome, looks like your in the right place. Take your time, and go at your own pace.

I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way, I also understand. Sometimes we do just get stuck and need a push in the right direction.

mizaru is right, have you considered talking to your GP or another professional? If you ever feel really stuck then pick up the phone and call the number below.

I know that sometimes joy is very elusive and you wonder if you will ever find any. Then like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow some shows up. In the strangest places.

I'm new but have found so many really lovely people here, all with stories just like yours and mine.

You are with friends here, read what others are saying and share your own story as you find your pot of joy.

There is probably a journey involved, but there are some great maps and guides here.

All the best.

[AkienA]

Before I reply I want to apologies I am dyslexic and struggle with spelling, I hope this is understandable.

I really don't want feel like this anymore I don't want to of spent all my life feeling sad alone and distant.

I want to get help but feel I can't, I struggle with social anxiety, can't drive and also have 2 babies and no gp.

I offten here people talking about a "support system" but I am in a crappy relation ship with a husband that doesn't care or have time for me, I honstly have no friends or people I talk to, and am not close to family. I am so extremely alone.. I know I could always pick up the phone and call but I have a frear of talking on the phone, and very little free time.

There is this silly voice in my head telling me that everyone I meet secreatly hates me, nobody cares what I have to say or how I feel, it makes me think all people are fake.

I think I'm a terrible person, I have no talents, I am boring wired ugly selfish and stupid.

I don't feel like anyone could help me.. I apologise wasting your time righting on here, there is nothing anyone can do for me I'm to stuck in my own little dark world

[geoff]

dear Akien, firstly can I say in total respect for you 'hold your horses', and secondly I can't see any problem by being dyslexic, we all make spelling mistakes and I'm certainly a culprit.
When we feel low and down in spirits and if you have felt this way for along time then it maybe depression you are struggling with, although I can't officially diagnose you, but if you were my sister that's what I would say to you, because having a social anxiety problem and feeling scared about being with company means that there is a problem which you want to overcome.
By having a 'crappy relationship' with your husband is certainly a strong reason while you feel like this, because there are no rewards, no happiness and no encouragement to what ever you do, so you are let down by the person you had hoped would make your life much happier, and I'm not sure what he has to say to you about what you are doing with the babies, so if he doesn't praise you then this is going to add to how you feel.
You don't have much self-esteem or if you ever did it has been driven out of you, so can I suggest that you stay with us and talk about what has been happening via this site, by doing this it may help with your self esteem and certainly confidence in talking to other people.
So can we take it slowly for you and hope that this is OK for you. Geoff. x

[Kazzl]

Hello Akien, welcome to beyondblue! You are not wasting our time hun, quite the opposite. I love meeting new people here, so I am very pleased to meet you.

Like many people here, I know what it's like to feel stuck in my head, to feel like things will never improve. I know that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. It's cruel.

Often just getting how we're feeling out of our heads and into words can help, so please feel free to tell us more about yourself and what's happening for you. I'd love to hear about your babies - how old are they?

Also hun - I understand the dislike of talking on the phone, so thought I'd mention our online chat service - you'll see the link to it at the bottom of the page. You can talk to a professional via the website between 3pm and 12 am any day.

Hope to talk with you more Akien - and I hope today is a better one for you.

Kaz

[AkienA]

I've tryed to write a reply a few times but can't seam to write down what I'm wanting to say.

[Music_Freak]

I've certainly felt stuck before...it's not nice, at all

I think you should utilise this websites chat features. I've never used them myself, but joining this forum has done wonders. Just being able to go somewhere and be honest about how you feel is a weight off. Hopefully, you'll feel comfortable to join in more, you'll be very welcomed here 🙂

Keep trying to post - you'll find the words eventually 🙂

[Wednesday]

Hi Aiken,

Welcome it's nice to meet you. It doesn't matter what you say just get it out of your head. No-one is going to care about spelling, we all mess up (especially me - agh predictive text drives me nuts) no one is going t care about any typos or spelling. Way to go girl dyslexia isn't fun so at least you have a good reason to make mistakes!

This is a good spot to debrief, we've all been there so we get it!

hugs

[Angelita]

Hi Akiena,

I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. First thing I would like to know, is how long have you been feeling this way? Have you told anyone else e.g. friend, colleague etc, about your feelings, aside from this forum.

Anyway, you are doing the right thing by joining the forum it is another way of expressing how you are feeling, the second thing you have to do is seek medical help. Your GP can assist you with medication and therapy if needed. If you have no one to talk to e.g. a friend or relative, maybe its best to talk to a Psychologist, they can sort out any issue that is bottling inside you for years, and advise you on physical activities. Sometimes a 10 minutes walk outside is quite good, also Yoga and meditation is really a good way to relax your mind. Find out in your community what sort of relaxation program available. Do not worry Akiena everything will be fine. You are on the right by track by joining the FORUM.