what to do when you feel , there no strength left?

[marlina]

Hello,

I am new to the forum. I decided to get in touch with people that are experiencing similar struggles....

I have been having depression for long time - on and off. Recently my depression went worse due to significant changes in my life, like career change and decision to go back to University. It has taken one semester, to loose all my stress coping mechanisms and loose control of life. About 3 months ago i went back on AD and more recent i started to see the therapist for mindfulness lessons. I was trying to have talk therapy but with my levels of a stress, my psychiatrist recommended to self-soothing technics first. I was very difficult for me to talk about the past and trigger anxiety attacks - to the stage of vomiting after sessions.

At the moment, I am facing a challenge of finding a job in a new career - which is a public health. I am also going to volunteer for a cancer support organisation. Step by step I am following the little goals i have set up. I know it is not impossible, but the fear and self-doubts are stronger than me.

I am really scared.. 3 months agoI could smile, I exercised every day and i was loving it. Then one night, when my second semester started, and the pressure increased, I got an anxiety attack - and turned my life upside down. I can not cope since then, medication not seems to help, and every day seems like a battle, with my own thoughts and fears.

I am really tired and out of the ideas what to do next... I know it all takes time - i Just wanted to share it with you here xxx

[james1]

Hi Marlina,

Thank you very much for sharing your experience! Let me say this: I truly care about you and how you feel. I'm not in your shoes so I don't know exactly how you feel, but you're not fighting this alone. You have me and everyone on these forums with you, and you are stronger than you may realise.

I don't know what to say, but having also just gone through my first semester back at uni after working full time for a few years, your story means something to me. To think that I was just trying to improve by going back to uni, then having those dreams and my entire life completely sunk is really really hard. But I'm fighting each day to keep moving, and I know that you can too!

Stick with it - it will get better! And don't be afraid to keep coming here to tell us how you're going!

James

[marlina]

This is so strange, how setting up those goals seems to be so exciting at the beginning. But then become so overwhelming. I will keep posting, I hope that it will give a chance to let emotions out - I sometimes feel like there is only as much as you can tell your friends, who never experience depression. Not many people understand how it feels until it gets you .

Thank you and good luck James

[james1]

It can definitely be hard to completely open up to friends who've never had the same experience. Sometimes I tell my friends that I'm not expecting them to be able to help, but just to be there when I need them. And that's really comforting.

All the best

James