Stuck between a rock and a hard place, and for I freely admit that this is my doing...sortof

[Dennis38]

Ok well of late been doing pretty good managing myself and my depression, doing DDP Yoga, riding a bike all in the name of getting rid of my walking cane (and man getting fit hurts!!). Well along comes my nephew in law and his wife and they moved in, they got kicked out of the place they were living in because of the fact that it was being sold (not to mention they lied and told the land lords/real estate people that they only had 2 dogs when in fact they had 6 dogs, 3 cats and a few birds). Well it happened faster then they were ready so I said they could move here, once they got rid of most of the animals especially since the wife and I already have one dog. Anyways, the kids (and the "kids" are 40 and 39 but really they are still kids in my eyes which I am only 39 lol) moved in, for a temporary place while they look for a new place to live. Well come to find out the Nephew in law's wife is in stage 5 kidney failure and needs to be on dialises and needs a new kidney. They have been trying to find a new place, well sort-of trying,

The kidney people said she needed another address closer to them (they were living in Bathurst and that is where the kidney doctor is in) in a month's time. NO way in hell will that happen so I told the kids to relax and they could stay here until everything gets properly sorted. As she has to go in ASAP to have the dialises set up soonest (surgery and all that).

So once again doing the right thing turns around and bites me in the ass. So now I have 5 dogs, and three adults living here. My wife is menopausal and lashes out a lot of times before she can control her mouth, which means I am the one that gets the lashing. This does not help my depression one bit especially when I lash back at the wife then I feel like I am a total heel because I should be in more control then she is, this will not rip myself and the wife apart I know that, but ugg it really is putting me once again in a black mood as I try to keep the peace. Why is it that when we do the right thing it always bites us in the ass or is that just me? Last time I did the right thing by not sueing the lady that ran me over it just got me over 250k in debt a shattered body and mind.

[Dennis38]

Hey Neil

Thank you for the kind words and I would be honoured to have a drink with you. And as for a battler it comes down to being to stupid to know when to given which I am proud to claim I have more bone then brain some days! As for being down to earth I simply call it as I see it. Lets face it there are a lot of people in the world that want things sugar coated or to honestly blame every thing and everyone for their problems, when in reality the problem is them...I include myself in that category a time or two. It is just of late that I am shall we say waking up to myself and taking a good hard look at who and what I am. Some things I do not like so I am TRYING to change that. Other things I know I need to turn and face instead of sticking my fingers in my ears and going "nerener I cant hear you".

It's not easy and I honestly think we learn more about ourselves when we are brutally honest with ourselves WHEN we are ready to be. Nothing wrong with wanting things sugar coated so long as you are willing to learn. Depression takes so much from us and that includes the ability to see straight. Even in my darker times I still fall for the demon's tricks. But I am learning to avoid most of those tricks but of late things just kidn of piled up on me as everyone knows what that feels like I wont go into to much more detail.

Its just good to get a few things off my chest and now that I am not so self aborbed I will be back posting a bit more to try and help those that need it.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Dennis

Yes yes and yes … your latest response basically said it all, if not in slightly a roundabout way, which is no doubt why I understood it so well.  🙂

And you wrote 6 words in there that I hope a lot of people will read because they are profound:   “Depression takes so much from us…”   Oh boy, yes it does and how!!

I also hope that in the near future we can have your good self on here in your helpful and supportive role that you’ve done with great aplomb in the past;  you have a wealth of knowledge and experience to pass on to others, so I hope that you find that you’re able to ‘reach out’ to others when you feel ok to do so.

Ps:  with regard to our good friend Geoff, I believe he had a full hip replacement operation – or something very close to that. 

Neil

[Dennis38]

Hey Neil

Thanks for the update the hip replacement hopefuly will ease what pain he had once he has recovered. And yeah I to tend to go around a bit when I try to get some thoughts out of my head and I plan on helping out a bit more now that I am in a bit of a better place mental wise when I can and giving out advice from a redneck's point of view!