Struggling

[acacia100]

Hi all, i feel silly even posting here but i just feel like i am not coping very well lately.

I struggle with anxiety and feel completely miserable most days, i don't like myself very much and i just assume everyone else hates me too.

I get so down that i wish i just didn't exist at all and basic things like dealing with other people causes anxiety, i feel tense, stomach is in knots etc all because i feel others are prettier, smarter, more capable than me and that eventually they will see me for the weak loser that i really am. I feel like i want to curl up in a cave and just sleep for 10 years just to get away from myself.

I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff, there are a few people in my world who are nice and i feel do care about me but i do not want to burden others with my problems because thats unfair on them, lately i have found myself bursting into tears over stuff and it takes me by surprise because normally i am tough and don't cry. What the heck is wrong with me !!?

How do you manage to keep afloat and not drown when you have no one to turn to ? It makes me feel so weak and silly because everyone else seems to manage ok without having anyone, why can't i ? I want to stop feeling this way and i have tried so hard to calm my anxiety and keep busy, if it wasn't for the fact that i had a child i would have just ended things by now.

Can anyone relate ?

[rg725]

Hi acacia100, i cannot express how much i can relate to this post. im suffering from all this at the moment too, and i am surely hoping its a 'phase' and i will eventually get over it. i wish i could help, but if you ever want to talk, im just a message away.

[pipsy]

Hi acacia. I'm sorry you feel so alone. Do you live alone, or do you have someone who can share the load a bit? Do you have a regular Dr, I suggest it might be an idea to see your Dr and ask for a referral to a therapist/counsellor/psychologist. Also see about getting on short term AD's. You sound as though you could be a bit shy too. When we're shy, it's harder to make friends because 'breaking the ice' seems harder. You have a very low self esteem which also puts you at a disadvantage because you feel you're not 'good enough'. Perhaps if you can see a counsellor etc, you could ask for ideas on how to make conversation. Explain you feel a bit inadequate in the conversation department. Once you learn how to overcome your shyness or inability where conversations are concerned, you should start feeling more positive. Another idea if you can see a counsellor, if at first you feel a bit tongue-tied seeing a counsellor the first time, write down where you feel you need help the most. This will enable the counsellor to concentrate on the areas you need help the most. Please, don't call yourself a weak loser, when you need help in any way, that makes you brave enough to ask for help. It takes a lot of guts to admit you need help. Anyone who puts you down for that, doesn't understand how vulnerable you are. They're actually to be pitied for being so blind.

Lynda.

[acacia100]

Thank you Rg725 and i am sorry you are feeling the same way too.

Thankyou Lynda for your kind words.

In answer to your questions, no i don't live alone, i have a partner and a child. Its a bit hard to talk to my partner about this stuff though, there are some issues surrounding that and thats making things harder i think.

I haven't seen a doctor, i would feel a bit silly going to a doctor for feeling miserable but i will think about seeing a counsellor or someone if i can't overcome this soon.

I am good at pretending to be ok in social situations and am ok at making conversations but underneath the surface i can be feeling very insecure and anxious, i don't think people really notice but its a horrible feeling. You are right, i shouldn't put myself down and i will try hard not to but sometimes i can't seem to help it.

Thanks for replying to my post, it has helped me feel a bit better.

[Sam_Dancewithoutmusic]

Hey there. I'm sorry that you're feeling so terrible. I don't think you're silly at all for posting something; what you're dealing with is real, and it's okay to need help sometimes. You said that other people seem to manage okay, but I think that, honestly, a lot of others have felt the way you do, and people just don't always know about it. I also think that it's a good idea to talk to someone - a friend or a counsellor. If the person you confide in isn't as helpful as you were hoping, maybe try someone else. But I think you might be surprised. Talking to the nice people in your life can really help you feel less burdened. Don't worry about burdening them with your problems. We're humans. We connect with people to help share the good and bad - to help share the load. Things can get better.

[pipsy]

Hi acacia. May I say what a lovely name you have. I love unusual names. Please don't feel silly about talking to a Dr. Dr's are there to help us feel better, whether it be emotional, physical or just to refer us to someone else i.e specialist. I'm sure if you were to tell a Dr you have problems communicating and you need help, the Dr would refer you to someone who could help. Feeling insecure and anxious about meeting and talking to people is a very real problem. Feeling as anxious as you do, saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment is a very real fear too and asking for help is being upfront and honest. People who stutter need speech therapy to help them overcome their insecurity, the problem you have is causing you to feel insecure.

Lynda.