Struggling Mum

[Changingfiles]

So here i am writing this trying to keep it all together.
I suffered depression on and off since my teens. I am now 32.
I have 2 young children, a husband and a father in law that lives with me.
Ive noticed that my mental health is declining, i'm not happy, i'm disinterested in doing anything,
I just want to sleep at the time, i can't be bothered attitude has set in and im isolating myself.
I keep the family going, i have a special needs child, my husband works shiftwork i work shiftwork,
I do all the household jobs and cooking etc and the child rearing. We support my elderly father in law as well, meals, cleaning, company/social. I'm exhausted i feel like i just want to run away from all the responsibility on my shoulders
I'm seen as a very strong person and i generally keep it all together but im struggling and im going down.
I'm scared im really scared that black cloud it almost over my head. I don't want it coming back but im feeling it.
Mother guilt is setting in, being the one the holds the family together pressure is so much. All it is it work and children cooking and cleaning. No life pleasure's or events or holidays. Same day in day out nothing to look forward to :-(
Help! Maybe some advice on coping, what i can do, what i could change?
Please note i have hardly any support and im not ready to open upto my husband.

[Maggie_Mae]

Hi

thanks for posting and reaching out not an easy thing to do.

Being a mum, wife, daughter in law ect is exhausting all the energy trying to juggle all the responsibilities and worrying about everything and everyone is very hard to do if you don't take care of You.

Sometimes you need to take a step back and do something for you, it's not selfish and your shouldn't feel guilty (easy to say hard to do I get that) you can't pour from an empty cup. Little things like going for a walk just to recharge you.

I think having a chat with your GP may also be very helpful, and always a good place to start.

I look forward to hearing from you

Maggie

[quirkywords]

Changingfiles welcome to the forum.

This is a friendly place full of supportive people. It is hard tonwritevyour firstboostvand try to express how you are feeling, Well done for reaching out ss others reading this will relate You are not alone.

As well as being mum and a wife you are also juggling and coping with being a mother of a special needs child, caring forband elderly father in law and being a shift worker. No wonder you are exhausted and struggling with all that responsibility.

Maggie Mae has given you supportive advice.

It is hard to think of your needs but you need to look after yourself .

I wsawonderingnuf you could get respitev your father in-law or help with your chilqd with special needs. I know there is help for elderly people living at home and you arenhuc carer. A couple of hours a week would give you time for yourself to recharge your batteries.

I agree talking to your doctor is a idea.

strong people ask for help and that’s what keeps them strong.

feel free to post here as much as you want.

Quirky

[paddyanne]

Hi Changingfiles. I've read the above replies and all I can do is reiterate the suggestions given. You are carrying way too heavy a load. The depression is feeding off your lack of energy making you more tired. Maybe ask your G.P for a referral to a counselor who specializes in mother's needing help. Coping is one thing, changing things is another. You can change how you cope but you can't change your FIL'S dependence. Your husband is possibly aware you are caring all the responsibility, but because you have not told him, he has no idea you're so worn out, have you tried telling him. You say you're not ready to talk to anyone in the family. If everyone sees you as the rock, no-one is going to know how you feel unless you tell them. Maybe write down the areas that you are struggling with, things that you need to get across to people so help will be made available.