Strategies needed for moving cities.

[Wild_]

Hi all,

Firstly, its nice to be back here on the Online Forums. As soon as I logged in, I felt supported.

It's a bit of a long story, but I'll try and shorted it for you.

For the past two years, I lived in another country. I'm now back in my home town. I moved overseas for work, and while it was good at the beginning, it turned out to be a toxic workplace with bullying bosses and colleagues. I slipped into a huge depression when I was over there, to the point that I took 6 months off to travel and clear my head. Now I'm back in my home town, the job search is on and it's getting to me. I worked in a very particular field, where people get very emotionally-charged with every meeting, and I'm facing a situation where people are asking me when I'm returning to 'The Dream Job.' To me, it was very shiny from the outside, but once you get into it, its a lot of hard, dirty work with a lot of competition and difficult people. I've returned to my home town where it seems that my network has shrunk considerably. I have a boyfriend here who is amazing, but he's new to this city so as a result, doesn't have any networks here either. I'm feeling friendless and I'm sleeping a lot (which is a big sign for me).

It seems like a bit of rambling, but I guess I'm looking for a bit of a helping hand so I can get to the next stage without falling into a depression again. I can feel one lingering around, but so far it has only been patches of a few hours that are bad, and they're no where near as bad as last year's days.

Any strategies out there for moving to a new place? I'm not a very good socialiser as it is, so 'going and making friends' is not really possible for me. Happy to hear any words of positivity and/or suggestions and/or support.

Wild.

[quirkywords]

Wild,

Welcome back to the forum and Australia.

It is hard moving back to your home town after a break and feeling that people have moved on and so you feel isolated.

I kno you say you are not a good socialiser but maybe you can just meet people without making friends at first.

My suggestion would be to find a common interest with others. Do you like sport , or music, or craft, or books, etc and then find people who like similar things. It is hard for anyone going to new place.

Or if you could volunteer a few hrs a week no meet people no make contact that way.

Also Facebook has local groups so you could meet people on line and find a group you may like. These are just suggestion and they may not suit you. I am sure others. will have better ones.

I have moved a few times , and have found it hard at times to fit in. For me joining a group was a good way to meet people and make contacts. I did drop out after a year , but it did help me when I first moved.

Thanks for your post.

Quirky

[White_Rose]

Dear Wild

Great to have you back on the forum. Also welcome back to Oz. I went to the UK to see my family a few years ago and landed in Sydney then on a domestic flight. As I walked into terminal hall I saw a huge banner right in front of me that said Welcome Home. I have to admit I cried a little. So emotional with the realisation that Australia was my home.

Having depression when you are on your own must be quite devastating. I am pleased you were able to have an extended holiday which I gather helped you to heal. Depression is a mean beast and has no thought for anyone. The black dog just waltzes in and takes up residence without so much as a Do you mind? Well of course we would all say go away.

Like Quirky I have moved house a few times and it's always hard to meet people. I met one lovely lady who was often working in her garden etc and I would say hello as I walked past. She always chatted with me and eventually we became firm friends. So maybe simply saying hello to people who live on your street? Quirky's suggestions are another way to meet people.

I have made friends different through activities and these friends have introduced me to others. The local library often has lists of activities and events in your area. I know there is a book club operating from my library although I am a member of another book club. I have found volunteering a good way to meet people.

I'm not a very good socialiser as it is, so 'going and making friends' is not really possible for me. I do know how that feels as I have also been there. It's why I suggest small groups of people so you don't get lost in the crowd. If a new person comes to one of my activities We do not hassle the person to talk. He/she is welcomed and often just one person will have chat to be more welcoming but not to crowd them. You may well find this is the way you will be welcomed.

Being away for two years does make for a few difficulties when you return. People move from their jobs and homes, marry, have children etc. How did you meet your boyfriend? Perhaps you could both join in something that appeals to you. That way you have a support but also the opportunity to meet others.

I hope you will continue to write in here and tell us how you are going.

Mary