Dear Bella888~
Welcome, I'd imagine there are a fair few here who have undergone the same sort of thing, so posting on the Forum is a pretty good move.
It looks like you have several things going on, all difficult. The first of course is your medication, which unless you have only just started it does not sound very helpful. It does -as I expect you know - take a while for meds to settle down and be effective. How long is different for each person.
The second is getting your doctor or psych to understand what is really happening. It's unlucky you have felt better when in a consultation. I have had that happen to me and even find it difficult myself to remember everything that had gone wrong.
Have you considered keeping a journal of how you feel, with a daily report, going into detail when you feel bad? It does not have to be great literature, point form is fine. If you take this with you it will be pretty self-explanatory and give a clear idea of what should be addressed.
You did say when you were having a melt down that there was no one there for you. I don't know the facts of course but is it possible you put on a face when others are around and only let go when by yourself? You would not be the first person to do that - I've been that way myself before now.
Do you have people that would care and want to support you if they knew what was happening? If so perhaps you could alert them to the fact you might want to contact them at short notice and to be prepared? What do you think?
You did mention this has gotten worse over the last few months. Can you say if anything has been happening to put extra pressure on you?
Croix
