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Some days are good but most are bad
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Dear Jaymore
I am so pleased you posted in here. Welcome.
It could have been me writing that post a few years ago. Family and friends who love me and want the best for me. They demonstrated this often and yet I could not believe them, not unless I really reached down inside myself. I was also scared to reach out for fear of upsetting someone, placing unreal expectations on someone or simply worrying that they would think how useless I was. And of course there was the big one, I did not want people to think I was crazy. Do you know someone like that?
I have to say I am still a little like that but with more insight about me and a more realistic view of the world. It has not been an easy journey. Fear is a huge obstacle. I got to a much better place through the efforts of those who stepped in and insisted I get more help. This was my GP and my (adult) children. They had seen me fall apart with the depression and were always worried about me. In the end I came to see their concern as love for me and the desire to help me recover.
So I went to a psychiatrist carefully chosen by my GP. In fact the GP spoke to the psychiatrist before referring me. How about that for service? So tip one, see a mental health professional. If you already receive therapy why not chat to your GP about if this person is still the most suitable. Needs change and what was good once may have lost its punch.
It was suggested that I write a list of all my good points. Hmmm! I thought I had none but could give a list of all my bad points. Our brains love playing tricks on us. I believe the brain is quite lazy and much prefers doing the same old same old. Too much like hard work to change direction. Well it's not in charge any longer. I started to make very conscious changes to my thinking. Very much like CBT. Have you done any of this?
I also learned about the brain's neuroplasticity. Put it in your search engine and find out about it. Basically it means we can continue to change our thinking all our lives. I know there is the misconception that we lose the ability to learn new skills at a very young age, relatively speaking. So how do people learn new languages, to paint or play music? How do people go to uni in later life and do as well or better than the bright young things who have just left school? It's because we can change. There is also a book called The Brain That Changes Itself.
About to run out of word allowance so will stop. Love to hear from you and continue this chat.
Mary
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Hi Mary, thank you for the reply.
I have had counselling in the past - when I was 10 and when I was 17. My GP referred me to a psychiatrist but I didn't end up going. I didn't think I would be able to cover the cost for that and I didn't want my parents to worry about it either. I might try and write down what I like about myself, as tough as that may be.
Thanks once again
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Hello Jaymore
Thanks for your reply. Psychiatrist's fees are claimable through Medicare. You may not get all the cost back (unless the psych bulk bills) but you will get a sizeable amount. Or should I say your parents will get a rebate if you are still on their Medicare card. May I ask how old you are? I am asking as I can point you to some appropriate services which may give you a better answer than me. However I would still like to chat with you if that's OK. If you are working and have your own Medicare card you will pay the fee and receive the rebate. Many doctors are connected to the Medicare system and are able to put the rebate straight back into your account. In fact it goes back in immediately. Always good to check these matters.
Have a chat to your GP about going to a psychiatrist. You will need a referral. There is also the mental health plan which gives you ten visits to a psychologist where the fees can be claimed from Medicare. Unfortunately you can only have ten visits per year which I feel is not enough. This is why I suggest you see a psychiatrist. It is generally cheaper in the long run.
I want to talk about looking at the things that upset you. My GP was great with this stuff. First I needed to decide how I felt about the whatever and if it was reasonable to be angry/upset/worried/ in tears etc. Would someone else feel this way in the same circumstances. This is an opportunity for you look at the event in a different way. Many of the distressing times I have experienced have a right, so to speak, to be upsetting. It's not over thinking or being silly or any of the feelings we use to put ourselves down. It can be hard so you need to persevere.
Once you know which category the incident belongs to you can say either that it was wrong for this to happen or I am over reacting etc. Either way it becomes much clearer to manage. Does this make sense to you? To go into this in more detail really requires you to be with a psych for all sorts of reasons but you can make a start on your own.
Glad you are writing down your good points. I don't mean the parts of you that you like although they should also be on your list. Include those things you do for others which can be listening to someone, picking something up. I recently hurt my back, not seriously, and found bending down painful. It was lovely when someone noticed and picked up the object. It may seem a small thing but has a big effect on the other.
I believe your list will surprise you.
Mary
