Don’t want to look like I’m seeking attention

Binga007 · ‎30-07-2019

Hey I’ve just recently joined the group after looking for some advice. I’m a male that for the past 3-4 years I’ve been suffering from depression. When I’m down I’m really down and get stuck in rut which I can’t get out of for sometimes days and weeks on end. In the past, months have gone by when I wouldn’t eat or sleep or leave my room, but I thought I had finally got through this. Recently, I have started to experience some of these things again. Some days are really good, but some days are the worst I’ve ever been. My moods are never stable and I can feel myself taking it out on my girlfriend to the point where she gets really upset because I’m just so down. I feel like if I told her what I’m going through it might help her to understand a bit and make me feel a little better. But I feel like if I go out and tell her, I don’t want her to think that I’m making excuses or wanting sympathy or attention. I never really show my emotions so I struggle to speak about it. I’ve never spoken to anyone about this, as I don’t want people feeing sorry for me. Has anyone had similar feelings? How have they gone about opening up?

quirkywords · ‎30-07-2019

Hi Guest,

Welcome to the forum. Well done for writing this first post .

It is hard trying to explain to a loved how we really feel. I think most people would like an explanation for their loved ones behaviour and would respect their honesty.

I was wondering if you would consider reading an edited version of what you have written here if you feel awkward about talking, or even give it as a letter to her.

I can understand you feel anxious and worried but as a female I know that if a man has been honest with his feelings I would offer support and understanding and realise what an effort it took him to reveal his feelings.

Just a few suggestions.

Quirky

FxZIONZ · ‎30-07-2019

Hey Mate,

Sorry to hear what your feeling. Personally (i think alot of people actually) struggle to open up to friends and family. Each time for me has become easier as i am normally able to identify the depression oncoming whilst i am not in the rut.

Have you gone to the GP or a psychologist? or are taking anti depressants? I find all 3 help me. When i notice i am getting into a rut, ill go to the GP, and the psych. But most importantly i will tell someone else. I live out of home with my best friend. So being able to tell him how i am feeling is easy. But we both suffer from anxiety and depression so we know what is helpful and hindering. I would suggest letting your partner know what feelings you have and how they are affecting you.

It may sound harsh but if people react negatively to you opening up, they dont deserve to be in your life. You sound like you care about the others around you. Maybe not whilst you are in a bad headspace, but if you care for others they will care about you. If your partner reacts positively, remember that. Remember that you have someone that cares, and make sure you provide care for them. What if your partner also is going through similar difficulties and doesnt want to open up? Would you want them to have to go through this alone?