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Shut Out

HackedOff
Community Member

I am a 45 year old man with Autism and Explosive Outburst disorder. I have no friends and no family, living a 'hermit existence'.

 

I thought this suited me up until recently when I noticed on social media and the like that people were getting out and enjoying themselves and wondered 'why not me?' I have been told by people I met that I am polite and friendly and they can't understand why I am alone.

 

I hate crowds, I hate groups of people, I just need one person, one, someone who is mentally strong and can listen to my problems and would be a tower of strength for me. I thought that I had one skill, I could keep house and all the rest of it, even though I can't drive. I tried many dating apps, I feel completely on my face with all of them.

I rather stupidly tried to start a friendship with someone on Instagram, I thought someone like her would be ideal. Of course, disaster stuck, she wouldn't have a bar of me. Then I realised what I had done, I attempted to kill myself. Given events that followed, I'm angry I didn't succeed.

 

My GP was of little comfort only offering the Local Mental Health Branch, who are very rude having observed them at close hand. The Psychologist I went to see didn't want to talk about why I tried to kill myself just went on about things I had no interest in doing. I tried various other places, they either weren't able to help or didn't return my calls/emails etc.

 

I wrote to a major paper in my city explaining my plight. What makes me sick is the fact they stand on The Sermon on the Mount and pontificate that they care about mental health when it is only a facade.

 

Lack of any real help and being ignored, does anybody else have these problems?

6 Replies 6

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi HackedOff, 
 
Thank you for sharing your story here. thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can hear how difficult things have been recently, but we think sharing this here is an amazing action to have taken.  
 
We’ve reached out to you privately to check in and thank you for sharing with the community here. We can hear you have a team around who you've been able to talk to, but just so that you're aware we're here if you ever need someone to talk to. Our lovely counsellors are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 and online, and if you ever feel unsafe or unable to avoid acting on thoughts of suicide or self-harm, the number to call is 000. 
 
We’re sure we’ll hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. They’re a really amazing community. Thanks again for sharing. It’s so good that you’ve been able to share your experience, and that you've been able to open up to the team around you. It’s a powerful and brave step, and you never know who might be reading this and feeling less alone because of it.  
 
Kind regards, 
 
Sophie M 

Thank you Sophie. My goal is to never feel like that EVER AGAIN and to have some understanding and some acknowledgement of what happened.

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi HackedOff

I was really saddened to read about your struggles and to learn that you had attempted to take your life. You’ve been to a very dark place my friend, and I’m so glad to know that you’ve now moved back into the light.
How I wish that you had professional support to stay safe now and find the help you need. Please consider calling the bb support line as Sophie kindly suggested. I have used the service and it helps.

Please know that you are not alone with this frustrating and demoralising situation with regards to inadequate support. I know from my own experience that, it is very very hard to find the right help. Particularly now as the system is so overburdened.

Many times I have felt so despondent that I’ve wanted to give up. But I don’t. I never will. Simply ask yourself, what is the alternative? You see, there isn’t one.

I’d like to suggest you circle back to step one and find a new GP. All GPs are different and some are better than others at mental health. When I did this, I called a few clinics and asked if any of the doctors had a special interest in mental health or if they had completed a Mental Health Fellowship (a Victorian accreditation, not sure if it’s national but I’m certain there will be something similar in other states if not). I then had appointments with a couple and chose the best fit.
If you can find a good GP switched on to your local mental health service providers, you are likely to get a referral that works for you.

Please post any time—to vent, talk or share your feelings—and this community, myself included, will help you through.

Kind thoughts to you 

Thank you Summer Rose for your very nice reply to my post. You raised some very good points about GPs, a couple of problems with changing is you have to pay $45 each time to have your medical records transferred and not many GPs have any major understanding of Mental health. Yes the system is overloaded but if they were a little more honest about it, it would make it easier to cope. Anyway many thanks again 

Hi HackedOff

You are most welcome!

 I’m wondering if there is another GP at your clinic who you could try? This would save you the administrative fee and still give you a chance to get a different view.

I was also just thinking that the Autism Association in your state may be able to assist you to find appropriate mental health support. I think it could be worth a call.

You hang in there. My heart goes out to you.

Kind thoughts to you

Hi op .

No expert on getting help but l found gp's useless in mental health bar only one, a rare diamond that's for sure . But even if you find that one they only have their 15min thing anyway which isn't enough to even scratch the surface. Hopefully some here can suggest some real help , l started using a support line specifically for men which used to be fantastic, it is still rushed though. l tried talking to one and she was that damn rude and wham bam l hung up on her in the end. Few mths later l needed to talk again tried them again got another one that was just as bad her tone alone within about the first minute told me l'd be wasting my time again so l hung up again. Unfortunately that's the only phone line l've been able to find that at times was very good butttt, now it seems that's lost as well. There are quite a few in the book though , have you tried any that are specific to supporting men?

As far as the way you like things and a someone compatible , l don't like too many people either and if at all only in very small doses. l protect my private world and my time as l need it to be the way that suits me. Well, thing is, after a divorce l eventually met someone that likes her world in the same way l like mine and we fit really really well in that department. Not everyone wants to be out there socializing and having friends in their face 24 7. l'd met a few actually before her to that were also similar to me in those ways even just preferring to be straight out loners apart from being with their partner.

Not everyone follows the herd , don't give up you just like anyone else , need to find that like minded someone that fits you.

 

Good luck with things anyway.

rx