- Beyond Blue Forums
- Mental health conditions
- Depression
- Re: Recognising I’m struggling and asking for help
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Follow
- Printer Friendly Page
Recognising I’m struggling and asking for help
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
The last 2 years have not been easy. My teenage daughter has struggled with her mental health to a great extent and all my focus was on helping her. My life is nothing like what it was two years ago. I have finally admitted to myself that I’m depressed and possibly suffering from some PTSD. I have a GP appointment next week. I am a private person and have always been able to manage and bounce back from every situation or set back. I am very nervous about the discussion with the GP and not sure how to ask for help without either downplaying the extent of how sad I am all the time or falling apart in the appointment. I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe some words of encouragement or insights into what to expect.
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hi Oct0ber
We have a lot in common. I have cared for my daughter for over a decade, as she has been battling a chronic mental health condition. I have always been strong for her, for the family, for myself and generally strong in life.
But last year I experienced a life changing diagnosis of serious illness myself, with a grim prognosis of a grisly path to permanent disability. This pushed me to my GP to ask for help with my own mental health.
I was nervous but prepared what I was going to say and pushed myself through the door. Everything changed when I started to talk.
I ended up blurting out how I was feeling, in a chaotic way, through tears. Strangely, I didn’t even feel embarrassed and my GP hardly batted an eyelash (realistically I wager I wasn’t the first person to cry in her office that day and I know I won’t be the last). I simply felt relief to get it all out and get a mental health care plan in place.
You can do this. You need to do it for yourself. You have an opportunity to work on your health and I encourage you to take it.
Kind thoughts to you
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
If it's any consolation, breaking down in the appointment isn't necessarily a bad thing. I hid a lot of things early on, it made getting help quite difficult - my family wouldn't believe me because I seemed stable, professionals could only work with what I was giving them. Save yourself some time and suffering and be honest.
I've done the breaking-down-in-appointments too, at worst the doctor isn't equipped and refers you on, or the experience of crying is a bit uncomfortable. Ideally you've gotten something off your chest and the GP is understanding, and can direct you towards professional help or at least provide some counsel. If you feel like falling apart is a probability, clearly some emotion needs out (let it out in a safe environment with a trusted third party who doesn't require your mask of stability).
Try not to fear "breaking down" with the GP, this is the best place to do it. I imagine for a long time you've held it together for your daughter, for any other family, friends, and work. You're going to the doctor for YOU, there's no reason to act strong to your own detriment there. Do your best to be fully honest, even if it feels "dramatic" - it still means somethings, indicates your state of mind, and will lead you to the most useful resources which you would otherwise miss by downplaying your issues.
As a side note, I struggled in my teens with MH problems too, my mother getting MH help would have helped a ton. Your daughter likely wants to see you well too, don't get stuck in a cycle of holding back from eachother trying to reduce the burden on one another, and then letting it all come to an emotional head when your cups overflow. You're doing a good thing by helping yourself too.
Best of luck x