Recently Diagnosed, feeling overwhelmed

[Shnook]

Hi,

I have recently been diagnosed with depression and I was hoping to reach out to others that may be able to offer advice or strategies.

Through discussions with my GP, I have come to realise that my depression is most likely linked directly to my social anxiety and OCD. I am struggling to fathom these "labels" that I have been given because up until now I always believed it was my personality to be neat and tidy (not a compulsion), and that I was simply going through some rough patches. However after a bit of soul searching it occurred to me that I have probably been suffering from depression and anxiety for quite some time but I never cared to admit it out loud.

I am booked in to see my GP again and get a referral to a psychologist. I am looking at this being the first step in dealing with my issues.

I have begun taking St.Johns Wort - a natural herb used to help subdue symptoms of low mood and anxiety. I was wondering if any of you have taken this and noticed significant change in mood over time? I am hesitant to take clinical medication for fear of not being able to come off it - also my partner is loathed to me taking such medication so unfortunately I don't have support there.

I have also been self-medicating for many years, particularly in social situations, to calm my nerves. I have never used anything stronger than alcohol, but now I have become dependent on it to help me loosen up. Can anyone offer any strategies to help me become calm in unfamiliar social situations without alcohol?

I am struggling to think that depression and anxiety are my lot in life. It is difficult for a perfectionist like me to comprehend that my perfectionism is sucking me into a deep, dark hole. I am positive that I can climb my way back out but certain that I cannot do it alone.

I hope you can help.

[Beetle]

HI Shnook

Welcome in the forum.

I have been exactly where you are. have a look at my threat 'recently diagnosed-so embarrassed-so ashamed.

It took me some time to accept my diagnoses of MDD and GAD as well and I didn't like the labels. Now I can see them as simple deficiencies in the brain and thanks to my meds my life has never been better. I have been to councillours for years but I never really got better. I needed the meds.

I was against meds as well. I think it depends how bad your depression is. With MDD meds are nessecary. If u are only having mild depression you don't need meds.

Ask your GP about it and try to do the test -anxiety and depression distress scale its called. then u know where u r at.

Good luck and please post again how you are going

Warm wishes

Beetle

[Mbuna]

Shnook,

Welcome to the forum. I know whats its like when you are first diagnosed. I did not want to hear about it when I was first diagnosed. I suppose I was scared about being labelled as some kind of nutter. In reality the majority of people will suffer some form of depression or anxiety in their life. Some of us just need a bit more help. Once you understand what is happening, it becomes a lot easier to treat. We start to understand why we are doing the things we are doing and learn ways combat them. Look at the movie on the login screen. Once you know the enemy, you can defeat it. Its a bit dramatic, but not far from the truth.

You have taken the important first step. You have sought help. You physiologist should be able to help you with ways to help in social situations. Don't get too worried about the medication issue just yet. A lot of people can overcome this without the medication. Many people who have anxiety suffer from OCD. They will find something to take their minds away from the worry. Even people who don't have anxiety issues will do things to take their minds away from real life. TV, computer games, books, sport and movies are all examples. If cleaning the house is what helps you then don't get too worried about it. People have chosen a lot more destructive forms of behavior to distract themselves, so having a neat and tidy house does not make you a monster. If your quest for cleanliness is causing you problems with your relationship however, then maybe your physiologist will be able to help.

You are right when you say you are in black hole. Its a hole most of us on this forum have been in. It is possible to pull your self out of the hole. Now that you have taken the first step, I am sure you will be able to drag yourself out. Keeping a positive frame of mind is the key. If you want to fix the problem, then you have overcome the first hurdle.

Good Luck

Mbuna

[Shnook]

Hi Beetle,

Thanks for your response. I really liked your words to describe these issues: "simple deficiencies". I can cope with those words rather than the labels.

I will keep my options open regarding medication once I have worked on my destructive behaviours with a psychologist. If I am unable to cope then perhaps meds will be my next step - albeit a scary one. 

Will post again as things develop. 

Kind regards,

Shnook

[Shnook]

Hi Mbuna,

Your words of encouragement and empathy have helped me greatly today. The affirmation that I am on the right track and that many others experience the "black hole" has given me renewed drive to get up and tackle my issues head on.

I agree that a clean house is certainly not a detrimental response to anxiety, but I need to explore this more as I feel these compulsions are defining who I am and all I am to those around me. 

I have only just begun, but am glad to have found these forums and others who understand first hand. 

With thanks,

shnook

[Jos]

Hi Shnook,

Just a couple of words before I have to dash off, I too have been in a similar position, a perfectionist and not relaxed in social environments, in my case I believe I was always self conscious of what people thought of me and in a sense caused anxiety.

Strategies to help, please google 'Sedacalm'  it is a herbal product which works very we'll.   Make sure you are very comfortable with your psychologist.  

Sometimes the 'labels' can be mistaken so don't dwell too much on these just work towards what you feel isn't right.

After a lot of soul searching, I now realise that my depression in effect helped me to where I am now, a lot more relaxed and in effect a turning point.

Wishing you all the very best - Jos

[Shnook]

Thank you Jos, I will certainly look into sedacalm. It sounds as though my experience is similar to yours - I hope that I can reach the turning point like you soon. 

[Jos]

Hi Shnook,

I'm sure things will work out, sometimes it can feel like we're lost in the vast ocean looking for the lighthouse, indulge yourself with as much positive material you can get your hands on,   I read with interest a post from Smallbear on BB a couple of days ago, he has found a book called 'The mindful way thru depression', perhaps give this a go.  I found the self help to be the most positive as the professional support was positive, but ultimately my healing was self driven, always the perfectionist...

Please keep posting your progress.... Take care Jos

a

[geoff]

dear Shnook, welcome aboard, it's great to always have new members, so to speak of.

Antidepressants aren't tablets that will addict you, the only addiction from them is to feel better in ourselves, so please don't worry about this concern at all.

Your doctor can eventually and slowly reduce the dosage only when you are beginning to feel better, but there's a catch here, in that people feel as though they are much better and want to stop taking their AD, which in turn could easily bring back their depression.

The only reason you, me and all the others feel better is because of their AD, so there's a fine line to this, so AD's are better than St.Johns Worts, but you can't take both of them together.

My OCD has been for 54 years, as far back as I can remember, and I'm now 59 years OLD, terrible but can't stop nature.

The medication I take is a SSRI for my initial depression after many others which I tried, but it's also for OCD, but whether or not it helps is debatable, although I think it has reduced many habits/rituals, and when I need a script the doctor has to ring the government and say my name etc and this drug is for OCD.

I was exactly the same as I used alcohol as a self-medication, which my ex and my two sons hated, but it was my only relief.

My doctor and psychologist also want me to reduce or stop drinking it but they knew I wouldn't until I decided it was time, now I only drink socially.

I f you type in MaryG in the search bar above 'Media' at the top of this page there you will a great deal of discussion between her and myself with regards to alcohol, and now she has done a wonderful job now as she has given up, it was a difficult road for her but she excelled brilliantly, so please read all those discussions that we had to each other, at first, and then we can begin for you if this suits you.

Can I just say that by being a perfectionist is a trait for OCD, but I would for you to continue this conversation, because it's right down my alley. Geoff.