Pretty depressed.... :(

[Tiggles121]

Hey guys im New to these forums. I'm only posting as I feel I need to talk to someone atm. Ive always had depression since I was a little girl and was always on medication to help it but for the past year and a half I haven't been depressed, I've been able to get it under control. So I came off my meds and actually have been doing so bloody good without the meds and I havent been depressed. Well since Friday that has just passed something happened in my family that I can't really say cause its personal but for the last 3 days I've noticed I've become really sad and its been creeping up on me slowly and just tonight it's hit me like a tonne of bricks. I swear ive cryed since 10 and now it's 12. I'm just really sad. And I havent worked this hard to keep my depression away for it just to come back really quick and hard like this. I hate taking meds as it makes me feel not right not normal. Why can't I be happy without meds? I feel like a bad mummy cause I'm down. This sucks.

[BballJ]

Hi Tiggles121,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Well done for reaching out for support. You have come to the right place as well.

Depression is one of those things that we can feel we have it under control and it can just creep back up on us like a bad smell. I have dealt with many bouts of depression in my time so I do understand how you are feeling. Regarding this thing that happened in your family, obviously this has triggered it, it is something worth speaking to a psychologist about, depression is one of those things where I like to think medication is one side of support but speaking about what's happening and working through your thought processes is also a big key to keeping depression away.

Please remember you can call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss how you are feeling.

My best for you,

Jay

[Mathy]

Hi Tiggles and thank you for coming to the BB forums.

It’s great that you’ve posted, that’s the first hurdle finished with.

It’s normal to feel sad and upset about some things that happen in life - such as loss of relationship, or death of friends and family. Sometimes, things from that past can be revealed too, and this can be very upsetting.

There’s no shame in having to go back on meds for a short while, especially if they achieve the outcome of you being happy and stable. I live with anxiety/depression and PTSD - I’ve been on and off meds - now I accept that there’s times that I need them, to help me through a difficult time.

You understand yourself and have lived without meds, now you face a challenge and may have to use them again. That’s not failure, that’s success - because you know yourself, and what you need to do to be there for your children. You’ve managed to get yourself into a place where you didn’t need meds, and this will happen again. Trust yourself ....

This is your space at BB to converse and share in anonymity, I’ll be keeping my eye out to see how you’re doing, all the very best, cheers M 🙂

[J_M_12345]

Hi Tiggles121,

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. As Mathy said, it's normal to feel extreme sadness after some events in life, such as the loss of a person, relationship, family arguments etc. For depression induced by a situation, often referred to as situational depression, you may not need medication and therapy may be enough to get you through this rough patch. The person to decide this however would be your GP, psychiatrist or psychologist, and if you continue to feel this way, I'd highly recommend reaching out to a professional. In doing so, it might also be helpful to discuss your concerns about your medication with them, and that it doesn't make you feel "normal".

It sounds like you also are pretty hard on yourself - feeling guilty and bad for being depressed and at the potential of going on your medication again. I understand it's tough, and it's great that you've been well, but one thing my psychiatrist always tells me helps me a lot and I think would be relevant to you here.

She always uses the analogy of asthma. Asthma is a physical illness and depression is a mental one. Asthmatics manage their asthma and so do those who suffer their depression - they too must manage it. Sometimes asthmatics don't need to use their puffer or medication for long periods of time - the weather is good, they haven't had any triggers like running or a cold or pollen. They would be happy that this is the case. But eventually, a cold might come around and they must rely on medication to manage that episode where their asthma is pretty severe. This is the same with your depression. You've been well and that's great, but now it might be another little episode. If medication is what's required to get you through, then so be it. You can't control it and you certainly shouldn't feel bad or guilty about it!

You will manage it to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For now, hang in there, talk to professionals, and please don't hesitate to continue reaching out in the forums for help.

Josette xx