Ppd:(

[Guest_6408]

So this us my first post and I'm really unsure what to write,

I'm a mum to 2 beautiful children, but the past 2 weeks I've began to resent my life as a mum.

I hear my baby crying and it makes me mad. I don't know how to feel love again. I would never in a million years harm my children.

I feel so alone although my partner is very helpful after work but during the day I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I wake up and realize it's the same old thing just a different day. I show no emotion to anyone because being realistic no one even cares. We as humans are selfish and as long as things are 'ok' then why do we need to bother to see what's really going on.

I feel stupid for feeling like this. Life really isn't that bad so what's my problem.

I'm sick of looking at the same walls I'm sick of wearing the same bum clothes because what's the point in even getting dressed nicely when I feel like I look fat and horrible. How do I break this feeling? I force myself to shower, force myself to clean my house, for my self to fake a smile so that I can pretend for 5 minutes that I'm ok.

I'm so scared of going on medication as I've seen what it has done to other people in the same situation.

I wish it was as easy as going for a walk or taking time for myself, because it's not. I don't want to do anything. It's like the saying you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves . How do I want to help myself again??

From the outside you'd never know I was feeling this way because I'm so ashamed.

I've gotten to the point of resentment I am convinced my husband is cheating on me, I can't help but go through his phone or constantly question his everyday actions or get mad when he doesn't answer my calls. I know on my heart has done nothing wrong so why am i doing this??

I hope that this was a safe enough place to put this, I'm just too embarrassed to discuss this anywhere or with any one else 😞

[blondguy]

Hello Guest6608

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the strength to post too!

You are not stupid in any way for feeling this way at all. As you have mentioned you have 2 beautiful children. Please dont be hard on yourself and resent being a mum.....From what you have posted I see a great mum that has a caring heart

You have nothing to ashamed about at all. I have had chronic anxiety for a while now and it is difficult to speak about any issues/problems we have

Can I ask who suggested the medication?

The forums have many caring mums that can be here for you....I will be asking for some assistance so you have more effective support from a mother's experience 🙂

Just a note...the forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

I will do my best to have additional support for you

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Guest_365]

Thanks for sharing.

What you've described is so common for stay at home Mum's. I have 2 kids and feel the same on occasions. The way I broke the cycle was to have a goal each day could be anything and leave the house once a day even if it was only a walk around the block.

I joined a Mum's and Bubs exercise group geez that helped so much and attend Mothers Group once a week. These aren't even interests of mine but it certainly helped on the mental health Sid workers things.

Having kids and just doing that feels like ground hog day and it's relentless. Same thing day out days on end. Try find something to break up your day you enjoy. Nature is so good for that. It may seem like it won't work at first but set yourself a goal do it once a day for a week and see if it changes how you feel.

If you decide to give it go I would love to hear your feedback.

You're doing an amazing job being a Mum it's the hardest thing in the world and sometimes feels so unappreciated!

[PamelaR]

Hi guest 6408

my heart goes out to you. You don’t hear about all this before you have kids. Being a mum is hard work! From every thing you have said it sounds like a visit to the doctor may help? No pressure , just kind thoughts.

Guest 365 has offered some great ideas about getting out and about. Really good to do, though some help to get you there may be needed.

I can see why you don’t want to talk with someone. But to be honest what you are experiencing isn’t unusual. Have you been in touch with parentline.com.au 1300 301300?

You’re not alone. Though it may seem like it at times. It’s really good you have reached out here. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[quirkywords]

guest 6408,

I too wish to welcome you to this forum which as you can see is supportive by the helpful caring responses you have.As guest 365 wrote many mothers feel like you at times. lGuest 365 suggested a mother’s group and I found that so helpful especially with the mums who were honest about their feelings and we could share our stories and support each other.

I can u serstand you feel embarrassed to tell others but I am sure if you spoke to a group of mum there would be some who would nod and u derstand what you are going through and they would probably share their story.

My children are adults now but I still remember the days when it took me to 4pm to get the children out of house to walk park .

i found writing down and keeping a journal helpful so I could say how my moods and feeling changed and to write a few positives each day. of course this won’t stop your feelings but it can help sort out tangled thoughts out.

You are good mum and doing a hard job . you are not alone and there is support for you.

Quirky

I

[White_Rose]

Dear Guest

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you here.

Your feelings are similar to many other moms. Babies are hard work and after a while we can only see the work side. I know I felt as you do for a while. No need for medication but a chat to your GP may help. I expect you feel tired which is a chronic complaint for moms.

Lots of suggestions above. All good but you may prefer other options. The main thing is to get yourself out of the house every day even if only for a short time. Can you find a baby sitting group? Often these groups have mutual baby sitting. Getting out for an hour on your own is glorious I found. In return you allow another mom to have that freedom.

Mary

[Quercus]

Hi Guest_6408,

I hope you return to read the replies because there's no shame in how you are feeling. At all!

I'm a Mum of 2 and what you wrote was me to a T. I let it build until I was suicidal because I was too afraid of talking openly with a medical professional and was afraid of medication.

Eventually I saw a psychiatrist. First meeting we didn't discuss much really. He saw how on edge and distressed I was. How irritable and mentally drained. And he prescribed an antidepressant. He said sometimes we need medication to get to a point where we are safe and able to help ourselves.

Also... You mentioned anger and resentment. Oooh do I know those so well. I never knew though that sometimes depression can show as anger.

Please be kind to yourself. We know you love your kids and will not harm them. This anger and frustration I know too well. It feels awful to say but I don't enjoy being a mother either at times. Mental illness that isn't managed make these feelings so much worse.

Please try not to be afraid to admit you feel you need help. You're not the first and won't be the last.

If you feel like writing again I'm keen to know how you are holding up.

Nat