Pets and depression

[MegW]

I have suffered depression for years possibly as a consequence of losing both parents at a fairly young age leaving me to bumble through life on my own.  I have experienced all those cliched expressions, the dark tunnel, the deep hole, the black dog, I have often contemplated ways out to end the suffering, there have been days when making the effort to shower and leave my house to walk the block to the supermarket have seemed almost insurmountable.  But I seem to be somehow resilient, even when I really want to quit I seem to get through and try as much to live in the moment, I feel like I am constantly swimming with my head just above water.  Over years I have developed an inability to enter into a relationship, I have no confidence and have often failed in my ability to be able to determine if a person is decent and good or not so I choose now to live alone.  The one thing that has helped me the most are my pets, my cats are a reason to get up and function, to feed, to groom, to clean litter, change water, to play with and pet, to just pet on the couch. I adopted a rescue dog, I class as one of the (few) best things that have ever happened in my life.  She makes me feel happy and I know she loves me and I love her, for twelve months after I got her, for the first time in years I felt free of depression, I barely recognised this feeling but I was always aware that just like an alcoholic who no longer drinks it (the depression) would always be lurking.  It came back eventually, insidiously creeping in to cloud my mind and take over my heart.  Today I bought a puppy (I don't expect I'll be able to 'cure' my depression by obtaining an animal every time I feel sad :), I brought my pup home and we sat in the sun, this particular pup is a breed I have wanted to own since I can remember. It made me realise that in the whole of my life I have only ever twice fulfilled any of my dreams, for as long as I can remember I have always wanted a pup of this breed to train in agility and I had always wanted a touring bicycle.  I have spend (and wasted) so much (too much) of my life living for others, giving to them, making sure they are alright and have what they need, I always thought that if you gave it would always come back to you, my giving only left me empty, untrusting, peniless and bereft, no wonder I have been sad, now is time for me.  I have always wanted a horse of my own and to tour and potentially live in Tasmania, those things are next on my list :).

[MegW]

Hi Mary,

You could foster, dogs, cats, rabbits or guinea pigs, there are so many animals in need (of people just like you).  You say you feel you could not give a pet a good home, I've had those doubts at times but I look at my pets and see how healthy, well fed and content they are and think about how life may have been if they were not with me.  They may be with someone who doesn't look after them or is bored with them, be sick, have fleas, not enough food or water, be sleeping out in the cold, ungroomed, not played with.  My old dog was nine, she was advertised for a long time, noone wanted her, to me she is a dog in a million, I am so lucky to have found her and I can't help but believe that she is happier and better off now then when I met her when she was at a foster carers who wouldn't let her inside the house, so my tiny dog was left to wander around a yard by herself in the cold with a mouthful of bad teeth as she'd been neglected.  My animals are doted upon (without being spoiled, we do have some rules :), groomed, played with, walked, well fed, loved.  I am sure you could do all of that for a pet and it is like a two way street, you get back from them love, fun, attention and a purpose in life. I can't wait for my pup to have his vaccinations so we can begin puppy school and obedience training, it will be good for us both to be around people who share a similar interest and also love dogs.

I used to feel teary and depressed, it was like I got dragged down into it and it consumed my life, I wasted so much time in misery when I didn't need to, I didn't need to be on top of the world or buzzing with happiness either but by shutting myself away I missed out on many simple, beautiful, pleasant things, walks on the beach, in the country, a stroll at the markets for no purpose but to eat a hot jam donut, I started to remove, stop doing or involving myself in things that caused me pain, stress or made me sad and began replacing them with things that made me happy or atleast content.  I bought a bicycle, got cats, a dog, then a puppy, joined a club, forced myself to be social doing something I liked to do...just baby steps and I feel stronger and have few teary, depressed days. I don't think or dwell on yesterday, I can't change yesterday, but I can today and I can tomorrow. You could get more fish Mary, just don't put them under or near a light :), I'm sure the fish have forgotten, that happened in the past, we can change the future, make it better.