Not sure why I am posting ....

[Mack93]

Hi everyone. First time posting here and I'm not really sure why I am, only that I need some advice and after reading some stories on here nothing seemed to fit with mine.

Basically I am 22, the last year has been pretty rough I guess, I've moved from NSW to Melbourne and then back again when I realised I wasn't happy there with my partner. My partner and I have been together for two years, and are still happy together, living in Melbourne was just very stressful considering we were both doing jobs we hated and had no friends or family there. We have now moved back home and are living at his parents' house (which I hate, we are soon moving to my parents' house) to save money while we both go back to uni. The first degree I did I hated, so I'm going back to do what I wanted to do all along.

I'm fortunate enough to be able to go to uni (twice), have supportive parents and partner, we're ok financially (not great as we are both students but we earn enough to keep us going) so I'm not sure why I feel like this. The last 12 months or so I have just felt so sad all the time. I feel unmotivated to do anything, whenever I'm at home I just lay in bed all day or watch tv and don't have any motivation for doing anything. I am always tired, I went to a doctor about being so tired around 2 years ago and he told me I was Vitamin B deficient and to take supplements, I have ever since and it got better for a while but now it's worse than ever so I feel like it must be something different. I'm so tired that I have to have a nap every afternoon because I physically cannot stay awake.

Again, I don't know why I'm posting here except that I've ruled out every other possibility. I don't feel like I have a reason to be depressed but I can't ignore the fact that I am just plain sad all the time for no good reason. The last year I have been saying to myself "I'll be happy when we move to Melbourne", "I'll be happy when I move home", "I'll be happy when I quit this job that I hate", "I'll be happy when I lose weight", but I've done all those things and I'm no happier.

Just wanting some advice basically and to talk to people who have been through similar things. Sorry for the long post. X

[White_Rose]

Hello Mack

Good to hear from you and welcome to Beyond Blue.  You may have some depression from your symptoms but I enter the caveat that I am not a doctor.

It seems to me the first step is to visit your doctor.  When you went about your tiredness it seems that was the only topic you discussed and presumably the doctor did not ask any further questions. Some years ago I was diagnosed with a Vitamin B deficiency but this done via a blood test, so I hope this how your doctor reached his conclusion.

I am surprised he prescribed supplements. Vit B is absorbed into the body at the end of the food chain, so to speak and trying to be delicate. If you do not absorb it then there is no way you will absorb it via supplements. You may well have improved on your own. If you are again vit B deficient then you need vit B injections to put it straight into the blood stream. My GP told me that. Trying to remember if I went once a week or month but it was some years ago.

This may account for some of your tiredness. Adding your other difficulties of lack of motivation and staying in bed you could be depressed. Again the first step is to talk to your GP. Hopefully not the same one as before. If you need a GP experienced in mental health issues explore the Get Support tab at the top of the page to find a local GP.

You have gone through a great deal moving to Melbourne and back, returning to uni etc.  This may not seem  much but it does take a toll of you. Depression and anxiety are not selective. No matter what your lifestyle, family or other circumstances the Black Dog can creep in.

You don't need a reason for depression. In fact many people find that after getting away from a bad situation and feeling relieved at how well they are going, suddenly get swamped by the big D. So don't look for reasons or beat yourself up in any way because you can't find any. Sadly this is life.

It is strange how we set goals of happiness for ourselves only to find they are not all they were cracked up to be. Trying to look too far ahead is a big trap. Somtimes we just need to look at the next step but society is always urging us to look ahead and plan for the future. What we really need to do is explore and enjoy the present.

If I may suggest, concentrate on your studies and enjoy doing the things you like. This is far more rewarding than constantly looking ahead. The future will arrive at the same rate but you will be better equipped to manage. Go and see your doctor and come back to talk to us.

Mary