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Not Sure Where or what I am

White_Rose
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

I feel really odd these days. I walk through the world yet it seems I am not part of it.  Things happen round me but don't impact on me. I am going to stop seeing the psychologist for reasons I cannot talk about. Maybe I am so afraid of this happening because he has been such a wonderful support to me and really helped me when I was in despair.

I feel I can't talk to anyone except my GP who is on holiday ATM. I have been ill and maybe I have not yet recovered but this does not explain why I feel so disconnected from everything. What a load of babble I am writing.

Mary

4 Replies 4

Jo3
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Mary,

No it's not babble.  It makes so much sense to me.  Can I ask - are you stopping your pysch to see someone else or no one at all? Because I know for myself that at times I feel the same in that I think I wonder if I stop my sessions how will I go but then I can't stop because I will feel so abandoned and alone, as he is such a great support to me.

How long is your GP away for? It is hard when you're not physically well because you feel so run down and no energy. 

Mary, pls take care, I am thinking of you.  Hope you feel better soon

Jo xx

White_Rose
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Thanks Jo

I don't know if I will stop seeing him. We have had a major disagreement and I am devastated.  I realise it sounds stupid.  There is so much more to it.  Yes he has been  the most wonderful support and help and the thought of losing that support is terrifying.

It's made me realise that I expect too much of everyone. I can't go on with my life like this. I know all the answers. Go and do something else, get out of the house, phone a friend etc.  But I cannot confide in anyone else.  My GP is away for another week and it will be the middle of the next week before I go to see her. It's just too long and I'm not strong enough for this anymore.  It's all got too much for me.

Gleno
Community Member

Hello  Mary

 i hear  you it feels like i was saying the same thing not that long ago....are you getting yourself out of the house  each day ?....i know a week is  a long time but it will be hear soon   and then you can have a good talk to your GP ...if you want to talk or ask questions there is always someone who will read and reply on this site....

Gleno.

 

Mares73
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Dear Mary, often when experiencing depression we feel as though we are observers of what's happening in our life as opposed to being active participants. It must have upset you enormously to have a disagreement with your psychologist that led you to decide not to continue seeing him. Just another idea which may or may not be helpful-you say this psychologist has been a great help to you. Could you possibly write down how your feeling so that he understands & perhaps things could be worked out? It seems a shame when psychologists are supposed to work through issues. And it leaves you in a position of deciding whether to seek somebody new. You are being very hard on yourself. This is a tough time for you & you need support whilst you gather your strength & courage. You offer much support to others, now it's your turn. Please let us know how you are. Lve Mares x