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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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BlueJ Over 10 years of feeling hopeless
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, Just signed up, have been looking for somewhere to vent for a while. I'm a 27 year old male and while I've never been diagnosed I think I have been suffering from depression since I was around 14. It was about 3 years after my parents sp... View more

Hi everyone, Just signed up, have been looking for somewhere to vent for a while. I'm a 27 year old male and while I've never been diagnosed I think I have been suffering from depression since I was around 14. It was about 3 years after my parents split and we moved two states away while my dad moved to another country and I started drinking heavily. Not just the weekend party drinking but drinking at home, hiding alcohol and marijuana which I used almost every night and continued to use to deal with my emotions through university, and I still do today. Sometimes I'm absolutely fine for weeks or months, then something tiny will set me off and I wont sleep for days due to stress and a feeling like I want to tear the world down and sink into a black hole, or get so numb that it doesn't matter how I feel. I've spoken with a GP who was very blase and basically told me that life is sometimes "difficult" i.e. dismissed. I have since moved and changed doctors but haven't yet felt much like taking to my new GP about this kind of stuff. Anyway I've been struggling for the last few days due to some stuff at work and just needed a place other than my girlfriend to vent. Not sure what else to say, just feel like this is all holding me down and pulling all my friends in around me when I'm feeling this broken. But my life is actually pretty damn good, I enjoy my work and my friends. Most of the time. Other times I feel there's absolutely no hope for myself or for humanity or our planet. It's been over 10 years and I still cope by using marijuana, and I try not to drink as much but I still have a drink or two almost every night (sometimes a lot more). I just wonder if feeling this way ever ends or is it something you learn to deal with and overcome over time. If its the latter, that sucks, but ok. Also thanks for creating this space. J

Jo3 Depressed and angry at my "inner child"
  • replies: 9

I've been writing this morning in my book to my psych about my "inner child". I started writing about my childhood and writing myself as a third person. I started writing that I hate my inner child for what I have gone through. How weak I was and sti... View more

I've been writing this morning in my book to my psych about my "inner child". I started writing about my childhood and writing myself as a third person. I started writing that I hate my inner child for what I have gone through. How weak I was and still am and noboby cared about me as a child, She was brought up in a very strict background where she wasn't allowed to go anywhere, have no friends or not even go to a friend's birthday party when invited. She was never allowed sleep overs or even when she turned 18 she was never allowed to go out. She had to stay home and do what her mum would say. And if she tried to say something back to her mum she would be yelled out. She had swimming lessons as a child and clearly remembers not being able to swim so what did the instructor do - push my head down the water. this would happen over and over again. Hence now I hate putting my head under water. She wanted the love from her parents but she was not "smart enough" like the other siblings who would get all the attention. She was punished a week before her wedding because her mum and dad had organised something that she wanted to do but was told not to go ahead with my plan. She was 20 yrs old How lonely it was for her at school, only 1 close friend and not even allowed to go to her house. Everyone at school at groups of friends - I had none. She must have been an ugly child for no one to want to talk to her, no one to walk home with her. She craved to be a good child at school and always "acted dumb" so then she could get the attention from her teachers. Maybe that's what she was wanting - attention and love from someone, just anyone. And all she wanted was a hug, a kiss and a loving supporting parents; all she wanted was to feel loved. Maybe she never got that bond of love because she was born 10 week prem and was left in hospital for weeks and weeks. I'm sorry I needed to vent this I am so emotional today, my thoughts are everywhere some good and some not so good. Just want to be left alone. Lump in my throat, anxiety is high. Why did I write this - I don't really know Jo

Meep01 Does anybody else deny help?
  • replies: 3

Hi, More than anything I'm just writing to get things out. I dont really feel comfortable or able to talk to anybody, and that's the main problem. I guess I should start by stating I know I'm depressed. I'm a young adult, and I've been in and out of ... View more

Hi, More than anything I'm just writing to get things out. I dont really feel comfortable or able to talk to anybody, and that's the main problem. I guess I should start by stating I know I'm depressed. I'm a young adult, and I've been in and out of depression my whole teenage life and it has been really tough. This time though is one of the most tough, because for some reason I wont speak about it. I don't think I'm looking for advice, more just to hear from somebody who has experienced or is still experiencing this. It's been a few months now since I've started feeling depressed again. I was depressed at the beginning of the year, and ended up going to a psychiatrist. For reasons I don't really understand I cancelled going to any of my appointments and I have stopped taking my medication. The medication made me feel more tired, because I felt like it was 'pushing' me through when I didnt have the energy to do so. People started noticing how I was feeling, but honestly I don' t remember what they said. About a week ago I 'broke down' into tears and confessed how I was feeling to my mother, but she told me that I had too many committments at stake. I then spoke to my sister, who let me stay with her for the evening and cancelled my shifts for the day. The next day though, everybody expected me to be better and continued on. My problem is that I feel like the world wont stop moving, like I am on a conveyor belt and even though I am overwhelmed I can't make things pause so that I can catch my breathe. Each day I need to go to work, be there for my partner, do my study. I feel like there isn't the time to stop and get help, or that if I open up about how I am feeling everything around me is going to collapse.I feel like nobody cares about me, or that it is my fault and I am over reacting and just need to 'grow up'. People have started getting short with me, yelling at me for not talking and calling me selfish. I tried to make an appointment with my doctor but he is on holidays. I'm worried that if I speak up about how I am feeling people are going to make me cut my shifts or make drastic changes. Even worse, they'll tell me they don't do 'crisis care', and that I need to go to the hospital. I know I am walking on glass, but for some reason I just wont seek out the help that I need, I tell myself that I need to keep going no matter what. Has anybody else felt this way, and what did you do? Do you have any advice, or could you relate at all?

lightofday Reading through these posts makes me feel like a failure
  • replies: 10

Sometimes ( most of the time ) reading through these posts makes me feel like even more of a failure. Many of you have, (or had) partners and kids, something I haven't experienced for a long time (partner) or at all (kids). And everyone seems to get ... View more

Sometimes ( most of the time ) reading through these posts makes me feel like even more of a failure. Many of you have, (or had) partners and kids, something I haven't experienced for a long time (partner) or at all (kids). And everyone seems to get their life back on track after not too long. I don't feel like I belong anywhere, not even here. Nobody truly knows my loneliness.

CJ28 Stuck between loneliness and depression.
  • replies: 2

Ok, so right now if feels as though my world is falling apart. My one friend sent me a message about about a month ago with the whole 'I miss you, let's catch up', and I am yet to hear a thing since. I'm lonely, and miss her as well, but the depressi... View more

Ok, so right now if feels as though my world is falling apart. My one friend sent me a message about about a month ago with the whole 'I miss you, let's catch up', and I am yet to hear a thing since. I'm lonely, and miss her as well, but the depression just stupid me from doing anything. It's the usual story though, she gets a new boyfriend and no one else really matters. Being stuck with no friends and depression just makes me feel stuck. I throw myself into my work and do a good job everyday, I bust my guts for the company (even my bosses said I do a great job), and yet last week during end of year reviews I got my bum kicked hard over a trivial matter, and the 2 blokes I work with only work when the boss is in his office and they got raving reviews. I use work as my outlet and now it just seems pointless. Each weekend I am curled up in bed, I don't know what to do. I am over this depression thing. I am at a complete loss with everything.

Guest_5809 Tired of it all
  • replies: 8

I am so tired of existing with depression, anxiety and pressure. I find don't want to get out of bed but I have to with 2 kids. I don't want to do responsibility of paying bills going to appts I am tired of it. Third type of medication being tried. G... View more

I am so tired of existing with depression, anxiety and pressure. I find don't want to get out of bed but I have to with 2 kids. I don't want to do responsibility of paying bills going to appts I am tired of it. Third type of medication being tried. Geez I am tired and over it

MegW Pets and depression
  • replies: 10

I have suffered depression for years possibly as a consequence of losing both parents at a fairly young age leaving me to bumble through life on my own. I have experienced all those cliched expressions, the dark tunnel, the deep hole, the black dog, ... View more

I have suffered depression for years possibly as a consequence of losing both parents at a fairly young age leaving me to bumble through life on my own. I have experienced all those cliched expressions, the dark tunnel, the deep hole, the black dog, I have often contemplated ways out to end the suffering, there have been days when making the effort to shower and leave my house to walk the block to the supermarket have seemed almost insurmountable. But I seem to be somehow resilient, even when I really want to quit I seem to get through and try as much to live in the moment, I feel like I am constantly swimming with my head just above water. Over years I have developed an inability to enter into a relationship, I have no confidence and have often failed in my ability to be able to determine if a person is decent and good or not so I choose now to live alone. The one thing that has helped me the most are my pets, my cats are a reason to get up and function, to feed, to groom, to clean litter, change water, to play with and pet, to just pet on the couch. I adopted a rescue dog, I class as one of the (few) best things that have ever happened in my life. She makes me feel happy and I know she loves me and I love her, for twelve months after I got her, for the first time in years I felt free of depression, I barely recognised this feeling but I was always aware that just like an alcoholic who no longer drinks it (the depression) would always be lurking. It came back eventually, insidiously creeping in to cloud my mind and take over my heart. Today I bought a puppy (I don't expect I'll be able to 'cure' my depression by obtaining an animal every time I feel sad :), I brought my pup home and we sat in the sun, this particular pup is a breed I have wanted to own since I can remember. It made me realise that in the whole of my life I have only ever twice fulfilled any of my dreams, for as long as I can remember I have always wanted a pup of this breed to train in agility and I had always wanted a touring bicycle. I have spend (and wasted) so much (too much) of my life living for others, giving to them, making sure they are alright and have what they need, I always thought that if you gave it would always come back to you, my giving only left me empty, untrusting, peniless and bereft, no wonder I have been sad, now is time for me. I have always wanted a horse of my own and to tour and potentially live in Tasmania, those things are next on my list :).

asliverofhope The Vicious cycle
  • replies: 2

I hate that when I think I'm getting better, something will happen and I'll just revert back to how I was. I don't see the changing I claim to have done when I'm on a high. It feels like I have to get times of sadness to compensate for all the good t... View more

I hate that when I think I'm getting better, something will happen and I'll just revert back to how I was. I don't see the changing I claim to have done when I'm on a high. It feels like I have to get times of sadness to compensate for all the good times I've had. Am I alone in thinking this?

jerry66 I'm too afraid to discuss the real issues
  • replies: 6

Hello To All, This is all new to me so I'm not too sure how it all works. I have been incredibly down lately, finding it hard to communicate with others around me.I feel as though no-one, either professionally or personally seems to take me seriously... View more

Hello To All, This is all new to me so I'm not too sure how it all works. I have been incredibly down lately, finding it hard to communicate with others around me.I feel as though no-one, either professionally or personally seems to take me seriously. While I have support of family, I still get the "just get over it" impression from whom ever I pluck up the courage to talk to.I've been diagnosed with depression for a number of years now but recent turmoil in my personal life of late has caused great anxiety. I find communication a great help but folk in general aren't interested in talking about true feelings.I can prattle-on four hours just as good as the next person about the weather and other insignificant topics but am too afraid to discuss the real issues for fear of being classed a freak. How do you tell someone who has never suffered depression, anxiety the overwhelming feelings of dread, how you really feel.I wish not to put a dark outlook on things but I would be really interested to hear others' experiences. Maybe some advice or hints on how to deal with myself and other people. Thanks, Jerry

Sparkles183 10 Things I Hate About Depression
  • replies: 27

1) I hate the way I am crying inside and I do not know when I will stop. 2) I hate the person who I have become and I am not the person I used to be. 3) I hate that I feel I no longer have purpose in life and my goals is no longer the same. 4) I hate... View more

1) I hate the way I am crying inside and I do not know when I will stop. 2) I hate the person who I have become and I am not the person I used to be. 3) I hate that I feel I no longer have purpose in life and my goals is no longer the same. 4) I hate the fact no matter what treatment I try everything seems to get worse. 5) I hate it when the people around me rejects and abandons me when I need them most. 6) I hate that I have been bullied by professional’s the people who I supposed to trust most. 7) I hate the last 6 months of my life it has relay been hell I hate the fact that I am haunted by the images and thoughts of self-harm and suicide on a regular bases although I can control the urges and know I never do it. 9) I hate that I am alone in this fight and no one is with me. 10) But most of all I hate the fact that I cannot longer fight this on my own and I need all the help I can get.....