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- Not coping with life anymore :(
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Not coping with life anymore :(
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Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you decided to join us here tonight. We are really sorry to hear that you're feeling so down and isolated and coping with all the changes in your life. This sounds like a lot to deal with it and can be overwhelming if you are feeling alone in your situation. It is great that your daughter has been a strong supporter. Please know that these forums are a safe, supportive space, free of judgement to talk about these thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to help support you through this.
Our Support Service are also currently getting in touch with you through email as we are worried about you.
If you feel that you may be in immediate risk of harm, it's really important that you do contact 000 (triple zero. We would also suggest having a chat with your GP about what you are experiencing so they can assess your options.
In overwhelming moments like these, please know support is always help available to you, whether it be from the friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service (1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). These services are available to you 24/7 and you can access them as often as you need when things are feeling like too much to cope with.
We hope that you can find some comfort in the words of kindness and support from our community. If you would like to post further, please feel free to tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.
Kind regards,
Mod Support
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Hello SadMum, a warm welcome and it's always good to have new people like yourself reach out for help in circumstances that relate to many others.
We can't determine whether or not we just want to sit or lay down or if we struggle to get through the day unable to achieve anything, that's something we can't predict, but certainly nothing you should be blaming yourself for.
The changes you are now facing after separating from your husband a range of different emotions will now become made available and can be completely dissimilar to being married for 24 years, I know my life changed after 25 years being married.
You don't have to try and justify your reasons, just to please someone, but why this has happened it would be a good idea to talk to a psychologist as there could be many different reactions to how you are feeling both positive and negative but you need to give yourself credit and thankfully you have a daughter who is supporting you.
Ask your doctor about the 'mental health plan', you may already know about it, as gives you 10 Medicare paid sessions per year and in a 24 year marriage, there must be many issues you want to talk about.
Have your medication reviewed and if you feel you need a second opinion then please do so, but would love to hear back from you.
Geoff.
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Thanks for keeping us updated on how you've been feeling. We're so sorry to hear how difficult things continue to be for you tonight, but please know that no matter how dark things may seem to you right now- they can get better. Our community are all here to listen and provide our support during this overwhelming time.
Our support service are also attempting to get in touch through email as we are worried about you.
We'd really urge you to reach out to our friends at Lifeline on (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are available to you anytime, day or night, whenever these feelings are overwhelming to cope with.
We're all here to help you through this, and we hope you continue to check in and let us know how you're going, whenever you feel ready.
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Dear SadMum05~
I can understand you ignoring the call, not knowing waht to say is something that simply stops you.
You know it will not help to do this but at the time inability takes over and you can't face it.
I've skipped sessions with a particular psych, though maybe it was less not knowing what to say rather than we seemed at cross purposes and I'd come out feeling very discouraged. Then I'd not want to go to the next appointment becuse I had missed some.
Would you mind a suggestion?
Email your doc, say it is for him to read, not general mail, say I could not answer because I do not know what to say.
That makes it your doctor's job to help you find out what you have buried in you that you to need to say, not yours alone.
If the doc is any good thngs will go easier with it not all depending on you.
Does that sort of make sense?
Croix
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Hi sadMum05,
probably the most difficult thing about depression, is that the more one falls under it's spell, the more one's reality becomes distorted when looking through such lenses for an extened period.
It isn't wrong to feel the way you do. You have NOTHING to feel ashamed about for example; Not having the courage (just yet maybe), to come out with how you feel being an example.
It is this toxic public perception that in Australia we work hard, play hard, ego ego ego blah blah blah...
What really matters, is that as hard as it can be, one will find most beneficial, being true to themselves. Everyone has a journey. A story if you will, and EVERYONE'S is valid and deserves the time of anyone who is prepared to listen to theirs.
This is your post, so I won't go into too much detail about my struggles at this time, but please don't give up hope. My brother did. Our family's lives have never been the same since. My sister's as well. As of recently, I have had to disconnect from my parents. Probably for good.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I cared enough to reply to you, and I'm a stranger. People care about how you feel. I do. Be brave. You're so worth it. "The God's wait to delight in you", when the time is right. Also, forgot to mention that therapy (and organising a support structure as I'm pretty isolated at this time), has been a big help to me through my hellish time for my own reasons.
We need to ask for help in order for the suffering to have a chance at getting dealth with. The more open we are, the more understanding that they'll amass, and the more chancr that they'll know how to best help you back to a better quality of mental health. (I don't/can't medicate my problems, they don't work on me)
During thia time, be extra gentle towards yourself. Precious cargo hey. We all are.
Btw, thank you for helping me to take me mind off of my issues for a while, whilst I replied to you. It was needed to be honest.
take care. I might see you around the traps on Beyond Blue a bit later on.
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Hi SadMum05
Wish I was there with you, encouraging you to vent your frustrations, your intolerance and your wonder in regard to how things could have become so overwhelmingly challenging. I feel for you so very deeply.
I hope the following makes a difference:
I recall being at the end of my 15 battle with depression. Sitting within a depression group therapy session, we were all asked to generate a list of our traits on a whiteboard. It was a long list: Often angry, deeply sad at times, unmotivated, lost, a control freak, resentful, ungrateful, hopeless and...I could go on but you get the gist. Once the list was complete, I remember staring at it, wondering how we all could have so many traits in common. It was then that it hit - these are not my traits, these are the traits of depression. The next thought that came to mind changed my life, 'If these are not my traits, then who am I?'
From what you write, I believe you to be
- Someone who is chronically fatigued through a lack of energy restoration (sleep) and possibly a variety of long term stressors which may have exhausted the systems in your body over time. You could say you're running on empty. We can't feel energetic without energy
- Someone who is incredibly powerful in the way they have reformed their life and the life of their child. From one mum to another, it can be deeply challenging to not only reform your own life but, in the process, reform the life of your child/children in ways that are going to raise them and not bring them down
- Someone very sensitive to people or things that bring you down. Maybe this is why you left your ex. Did you become sensitive to just how much he was bringing you down? It takes a powerful person to raise them self out of that which brings them down, especially when they know the challenges that lay ahead will be intense. Such a person is undeniably courageous
- Someone who finds it difficult to fully recognise the help they need. I was actually pushed and pushed (by my mum) to enter into that group therapy I mentioned. Some challenges cannot be managed alone. By the way, I'm glad you came here, as a way to manage
I imagine you to be an incredible, powerful, courageous, sensitive person who is thoroughly exhausted and desperate for support, within a challenge which is overwhelming. One of the many things I have learned about depression is - depression will not gift us the ability to see the best in our self. That is its nature. I can easily see the best in you.
🙂
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