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No hope
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13-01-2022
10:08 PM
Ive recently stopped taking my medication for anxiety and depression. Since maybe 17 I was diagnosed with depression but never took medication or thought anything of it like I didnt really know what to think of it or understand it.I was in a 5yr relationship since 17 until 21 and tried to commit suicide once and was crying all the time and I didnt know why. I've always felt sad and hopeless sometimes numb.I had a few experiences in my 20s that gave me anxiety aswel I couldnt go to work anymore or to the shops or even drive. When i was 23 I met a guy who became my bf and got a new job he was older and gave me alot of support and help to go to doctors and figure out what was going on I would work but have trouble with attendance and unstable throughout the day or weeks. At the start of covid lost my job thats when it got worse i didnt leave the house or drive again. I was told I may have bpd but then another doctor didnt agree. I had a few therapy sessions online that helped me abit with my anxiety. I ended up moving to a new town which was surrounded by green scenery and quietness. I found strength somewhere to start walking/running and exercising and meditating which helped me so much and decided to start taking medication ,wasnt working at the time but then decided at the start of 2021 to get a job. That's when i went back downhill I forgot to mention I realised I had a gambling addiction around 19 which got out of control started being sad again and felt depressed agitated, skipped work alot had panic attacks my bf called it quits after 2 yrs.I also have had endless bad experiences with finding friends or maintaining them friendships. In the middle of last year I ended up moving to another state with a few new mates and started working again and felt so good and happy to start new and try to save money to do whatever I wanted but started gambling missing work all the time and started being angry again like the medication stopped working for me.Im back to my hometown with no job no money and no hope. I sleep all day I'm awake all night. I have no motivation to do anything. Not even self care sometimes. I feel like im constantly in a loop throughout my years. What i wrote isnt all of it because im not even sure how to tell it all. I just needed to write something down. Ive been having suicidal thoughts since I left my last job and moved back home.I feel like i have no purpose or hope as i know this will be a constant feeling in my life
2 Replies 2
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07-02-2022
11:23 AM
Hi xbx23,
Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us and being here. I just saw your post and I realised that you posted on the 13th January so I hope that you're still here. I'm also really sorry that your post got missed and hasn't been answered yet.
How have things been for you since writing all of this down? Did it help to share and get it off your chest?
I hope at the very least it did help to write things down even if you haven't had a reply. Sounds like things have been hard and very up and down.
Do you have some support around you now? You did talk about having a few therapy sessions online that helped with your anxiety; I wonder if it might help to get some more therapy but this time to talk about your mood now and how low you are feeling and without purpose.
Take care of yourself.
rt
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07-02-2022
12:11 PM
Dear xbx23,
We are so sorry to read what you are going through. It sounds like you've tried multiple times to start new and improve your situation, and it works for a little bit, and then things go back to how they were. It sounds like you are almost feeling defeated by this cycle, which sounds really challenging. Please know that these efforts have not gone to waste and that each time you make an effort to change it will improve and make future efforts more manageable and achievable.
We are so glad that you have reached out for support thus far and have tried things such as medication to improve your mental state. If you haven't already, it might be a good idea to speak to your GP or a psychiatrist about your medication to see if they can give you something that works better for you, as sometimes it may take a few tries to find the right medication.
You've identified some non-medication based things that work for you like meditation and exercise, and therapy sessions. It's great that you've identified that these things help you, and it is worth noting that they have been proven to work. We would highly encourage you to re-engage in these activities, as well as engage in some form of consistent therapy to assist you with your gambling, anxiety, and sense of hopelessness, and to provide you with some guidance around the application of the abovementioned strategies that you find helpful (meditation, exercise etc.) as well as some new strategies. A therapist will be able to support you and assist in you understanding the reasons behind your emotions and actions, and also help you to identify your triggers and ways to manage these.
Please feel free to get in contact with our confidential support service. We have counsellors available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. They can talk through these feelings with you and offer support, advice and referrals.
We have read that you are also experiencing thoughts of suicide and hopelessness. If things become too distressing and overwhelming for you, please remember that there are always crisis support services available such as at Lifeline (13 11 14), Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), or emergency services (000 – Triple zero) if you find yourself to be in immediate danger.
We are so glad that you have posted here and have reached out for help. We want you to know that you are not alone and you are always more than welcome to post here for support; in fact, we encourage you to continue doing so when you feel up to it. There are many avenues for support and we can help point you in the right direction, and our members are amazing at supporting each other which makes this forum a great source of peer support.
We are so sorry to read what you are going through. It sounds like you've tried multiple times to start new and improve your situation, and it works for a little bit, and then things go back to how they were. It sounds like you are almost feeling defeated by this cycle, which sounds really challenging. Please know that these efforts have not gone to waste and that each time you make an effort to change it will improve and make future efforts more manageable and achievable.
We are so glad that you have reached out for support thus far and have tried things such as medication to improve your mental state. If you haven't already, it might be a good idea to speak to your GP or a psychiatrist about your medication to see if they can give you something that works better for you, as sometimes it may take a few tries to find the right medication.
You've identified some non-medication based things that work for you like meditation and exercise, and therapy sessions. It's great that you've identified that these things help you, and it is worth noting that they have been proven to work. We would highly encourage you to re-engage in these activities, as well as engage in some form of consistent therapy to assist you with your gambling, anxiety, and sense of hopelessness, and to provide you with some guidance around the application of the abovementioned strategies that you find helpful (meditation, exercise etc.) as well as some new strategies. A therapist will be able to support you and assist in you understanding the reasons behind your emotions and actions, and also help you to identify your triggers and ways to manage these.
Please feel free to get in contact with our confidential support service. We have counsellors available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. They can talk through these feelings with you and offer support, advice and referrals.
We have read that you are also experiencing thoughts of suicide and hopelessness. If things become too distressing and overwhelming for you, please remember that there are always crisis support services available such as at Lifeline (13 11 14), Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), or emergency services (000 – Triple zero) if you find yourself to be in immediate danger.
We are so glad that you have posted here and have reached out for help. We want you to know that you are not alone and you are always more than welcome to post here for support; in fact, we encourage you to continue doing so when you feel up to it. There are many avenues for support and we can help point you in the right direction, and our members are amazing at supporting each other which makes this forum a great source of peer support.
