Newly diagnosed with depression? What to expect.

white knight · ‎30-03-2016

You’ve been diagnosed with depression possibly anxiety as well beforehand that led to depression. Your Doctor starts you on medication and you return home. You arrive home and the first thing you decide is to ring a friend. But your friend who has a good ear normally cant help you, that’s what they believe. After 15 minutes the conversation drifts off into talking about the nightclub she visited last weekend and the guy she met. You’re alone.

The same thing happens with family members but they listen more intently. Over time they too feel the stress of not being able to reach into your mind to fix the problem. Even though they do their best it isn’t enough. You are still alone.

You visit your club members. They have a BBQ at a park and show their cars off. You are so much under the dizziness of medication you are emotional. You begin to talk about this to a “friend” and the friend turns to you and says “I’m here for fun and more fun, not to listen to this…snap out of it”!!

You prepare dinner and your defacto arrives home from work. He/she listens, you weep and you drink a cuppa. But it seems you cant get enough of their time and support.

This process is likely what you are going to experience as a newly diagnosed person with emotional troubles. So here are some tips for those wandering around wondering about their future-

1/ Don’t expect anyone to understand Google- “Topic: they just wont understand, why?- beyondblue”

2/ Accept your illness. Fighting it wont work and that will be unfair to others in your life “Topic: depression a ship on the high seas- beyondblue” and “Topic: Do we expect a smooth road in life- beyondblue”

3/ Expect the future of your illness to be a lifelong management work in progress not something anyone will cure.

4/ Be sympathetic with your loved ones “Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue” and “Topic: embracing the embracer- beyondblue”

5/ Realise you might need to revert back to some basic living “Topic: MELTDOWN, back to basics- beyondblue”

6/ Investigate the positives “topic: Depression, are there any positives?- beyondblue”

7/ Become positive “Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue”

8/ Stick to your doctors orders and visit often “Topic: medication is a whirlpool- beyondblue”

9/ Rely on yourself “topic: the best praise you’ll ever get- beyondblue”

10/ Get on with life. “Topic: Getting depression into perspective- beyondblue”

Can you add to this?

Tony WK

Dennis38 · ‎31-03-2016

Do not go to the very first head shrink that you find, they are like shoes you honeslty have to try a few on before you find that right fit. I went and visted around 15 or so docs before I found the right one for me. Be HONEST not only to your doc but with yourself, and do not feel ashamed because of the way you are feeling.

one last thing

you ARE WORTH IT you deserve the help that you need do NOT listen to the lies in your head!

white knight · ‎02-04-2016

Hi Dennis, excellent post, direct and true.

In 2003 I believed I
had ADHD. We searched for a psychiatrist that dealt with ADHD in adults in Melbourne. He diagnosed me with ADHD and bipolar 1. I took the appropriate medication for 6 years, many types, none helped and I wondered why.

In 2009 my new fiancée and I decide to seek a second opinion. When we attended another psychiatrist's room we were lucky in that another psych, free for 2 hours, sat in on our visit. Diagnosis? Bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression and dwindling anxiety. After given the news the senior psych looked over to his colleague and got a nod....confirmation. Different medication (including mood stabilisers) were the fit and I've excelled ever since.

On top of that it was revealed part of my traumatic childhood and my mothers narcissistic ways led to my illness.

Very different to the original endeavor when seeking help.

Thanks Dennis.

Tony WK

150lashes · ‎02-04-2016

What to expect?

Expect to feel shocked that this could happen to you.

Dennis38 · ‎03-04-2016

Another thing to expect is doubt..not only in yourself but the doubt that others will give you. A lot of times you will hear people say "oh what does he/she have to be "depressed about" this comes from both family, friends, and strangers and from yourself. Doubt is a dangerous thing because its one of the basic lies that depression tells us. It starts to niggle at you at first, the first thing you will here in your head "well they are right I have a "great life" I am rich..i have a great family..blah blah blah...." then you will start to feel stupid and then oye it just snow balls from there. Do not listen to the doubt easy to say hard to do...but everyone has a "right" for a lack of a better word to become depressed the only person that can truly tell you if there is a "reason" is you. No one is in your head no one sees the things that are problems to you..expect you... oh and another thing expect good days and bad days. I do can not say I have found anything positive about depression (as the orginal post suggested in number 6 and I have been suffering though depression and PTSD for about 16 years now still haven't suddenly become cured. Like everyone I have my good days and bad days, my good days can last months on end...then BOOM bad day..and my bad days really tail spin me. You have a lot to learn about yourself and your triggers and how to slow that tailspin to a stop. You may have a ways to climb back up after stopping that tailspin but at least you are not at rock bottom.

white knight · ‎03-04-2016

Hi Dennis,

As for not finding anything to be positive about with your depression (number 6 on OP). The number 7, 30 minutes can change your life, occurred to me in 1982-3. Since then, I've been relentless with my positivity. Bad days, sure I have them as you described, wham, it hits you. Then I allow the cycle to run its course and this only takes a few days now (used to be weeks before the right meds came along). Then I'm back into being positive again.

I've learned to seek out the positive in nearly all cases. Even manufacturing a positive like realising I can write poetry and its due to my bipolar. Sure I write poetry but who can prove its from my mental illness. If I compare such talent to Van Gogh's painting ability or Steven Fry's entertainment prowess then who cares if it isn't fact, it helps me.

To embrace your uniqueness, that there is only one of you, to grab a minor talent and cradle it, adore it and admire it is to gain confidence.

Yes, I'm passionate about being positive because I never use to be.

I have listened to Maharaji Prem Rawat (YouTube and his cassette tapes in the 80's) and his influence also helped. Google "Marahaji Prem Rawat Sunset" and "the perfect instrument". Inspirational.

Hope that helps.

Tony WK

JessF · ‎04-04-2016

Not necessarily something to expect, but something to consider... your perceptions may be wrong.

That person you think is uncaring or rude ... might not actually be so. It could be your perception.

That belief that you're useless at everything and nothing ever goes right for you... is never true. It's all or nothing thinking, and all comes back to your perception.

That belief that everyone is out to get you... is probably blown out of proportion from a single incident that pushed your buttons. Again, perception.

That might not be an easy thing to hear, because depression eats away at our confidence and thought processes, and your'e probably already second guessing yourself - but it's worth rememebring because your depression can start to spiral out of control if you don't recognise this and take a deep breath before taking actions that could make your situation worse.

white knight · ‎04-04-2016

Hi JessF

Perceptions can be a problem. I initially always give the benefit of the doubt. Often this results in a different perception later on down the track.

mmm, wondering how much paranoia is to blame for this? re: "That belief that everyone is out to get you... is probably blown out of proportion from a single incident that pushed your buttons."

Tony WK

JessF · ‎05-04-2016

I think depression erases our ability to give people the benefit of the doubt, or rather it erases the doubt! We become certain that we know what people's intentions are, and those intentions are always bad because everything in our world is bad when we are depressed.

Elizabeth CP · ‎05-04-2016

I wanted to share a different perspective re recovery using an analogy. You are diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. You are given education & perhaps medication to enable you to control it. You can ignore the advice or follow it halfheartedly thus guaranteeing you will never recover properly or you can follow the advice to the best of your ability. You may be lucky & get things under control & at a later date return to the doctor who informs you you no longer have diabetes. You have recovered. In the same way a person with depression & /or anxiety is given treatment & follows the recommendations & over time recovers. Obviously in both cases whether mental or physical illness it takes time & persistence to recover Neither are something you take a few pills for a couple of weeks & it is over. In both cases once you have recovered you are now aware that you need to keep yourself well. If you recovered from diabetes & then went back to old habits you are likely to get it back & this time you may not ever improve enough to recover fully. In the case of the person recovered from depression the risk of relapse remains but you now have the tools & knowledge to keep yourself as well as possible.

Unfortunately sometimes the diabetes is too far advanced so even with your best efforts you never recover & remain on medication & other strategies for the rest of your life to reduce the risk of complications. In the same way some of us with depression may never fully recover but the same strategies you used to try to recover will still be useful to manage it.