New here, looking to talk/get help

[Jakon93]

Hi, I'm Jakon
So, since last December I started seeing a psychologist. I've had about 6 sessions now and I think they're going pretty well. Basically, I'm at the point where I've think I have identified what my issue/s are and I'm trying to address them, but that doesn't seem to be going very well. What my issue/s are is, probably, very common: I feel like I am inferior, worthless and incapable of attaining the future I want (largely due to childhood, choices growijg up, etc. That i'll be working on identifying with my psychologist next). I am suceeding in my uni studies (HD's, woo) but have been constantly feeling behind due to an inability to motivate, manage time effectively, care, and so on. Also, I've rexognized that a lot of my issue/s is (very) lilely to do with fear: fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, fear of faolure and so on. I'm also starting to more constructively assess when this fear arises - fear tends to wear many hats, it seems. Overall, objectively (so to speak) things are on track and I can plot out the next 3 months or so and say 'this is pretty good'.

But I feel hopeless. I feel it, just there, under the surface, sometimes closer, sometimes deeper down, like it's always going to be there waiting to bubble up until I breakdown and cry, again. Like today. I know, again, that I have a good framework for addressinf my triggers, thoughts, etc. That put me in this place and that I just have to build on them over time and, quite literally, get out more and engage more with people, and help others in particular, to feel a sense of worth and progress.

But thinking and doing that are different things. My GP, psychologist and myself have discussed me possibly going on SSRI's for depression/anxiety, but I'm unsure whether they'll be effective. Will they fix the pervasive sense of hopelessness my high lack of self confidence and self belief, as well as the internal critic?

[Helen72]

Hi J,

I don't know if medication is the way to go or (just a suggestion) meditation or yoga or something?

Helen

[Michellette]

Hi Jakon

I read your post and wanted to ask how you are doing? I've been on SSRIs for 30 years. Periodically I think: "I'm fine, I'm going to scale off the meds." And - for me - it never works. I need to be on them for life in order to cope and function and that is that.

That doesn't mean I never have anxiety or depression, but I seek help from friends, family or counsellors if needed and I mostly manage. Has your psychologist offered Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

I teach Business Studies and students are ALWAYS nervous and anxious about job interviews or giving presentations. So I tell them to "act the role of someone who is good at that". I wonder if that would help you. because I think it gives you a level of protection - especially with the fear of rejection. I'm simplifying CBT (probably badly!) but it's almost: If you want to be happy, act happy. After a while, it's not so much of an act.

So I get my students to "act like a confident PowerPoint presenter" or "act the role of someone who is relaxed and well-spoken at interviews". It seems to free them from the fear of personal rejection. They are playing a role. They are actors. It's not easy, you need to practice.

With hopeless/worthless feelings, I find that the method that works is to attack those thoughts with logic, ask yourself where is the empirical evidence that you are hopeless/worthless? Would that "evidence" if applied to a friend make you think the friend was hopeless/worthless or would you just think "They are human; they made a mistake or are struggling, but I'm really glad they are in my life."

My other suggestion, if you have a few hours a month, is to volunteer. Look on your local Council or Uni noticeboard. See if St Vinnies could use some help once or twice a month sorting clothing. Or try something new that you commit to weekly: like Middle Eastern cooking class!

It gets better Jakon. There is hope. And now you have people here cheering for you! All the best mate.