Hi there, my name is Sarah. This is my first time on beyond blue, i have had Anxiety and Depression on and off since i was 16, i am now 31. At the moment i am feeling like that my life is a mess, i can't concentrate on anything, work, study, day to day life. I am single, no kids, no house, no real savings, have a full time job, amazing friends and an extremely close relationship with my family. I have had amazing experiences in my life i have travelled been to many music festivals (which is one of the great loves in my life). I have a great support network yet i still feel like i can't get through this down time again. I am in a relationship (if you can call it that) that has been going on and off for the last 3 months and it's taking its toll on me. One minute he's all keen and the next he's not. I can see a future with us, i want a future with us. He has said he has feelings for me and a connection like no other. At this stage he is taking time out to decide if he wants to build a life together or be on his own. Relationships have always made me anxious. At the moment i feel depressed, i am crying all the time just randomly, i am constantly thinking about the "relationship" and him, 'why doesn't he want to be with me, does he want to be with me? Is he going to see other people? What if he finds someone else?'. I know this thought pattern and head chatter is not healthy and is creating my anxiety, yet i cannot stop myself. I worry about not finding that special someone. I am seeing a psychologist at the moment, but i cannot even concentrate on the sessions, i am listening to what he is saying and what processes i need to do to stop the head chatter, i want to stop it but i just can't make myself. I have also just started taking supplements after a recommendation from my naturopath, hopefully this may help.
I am at a loss, i hate feeling like this, i hate crying all the time, i know i am better than that but i can't pull myself out of the hole.
Thought's and similar experiences and any advice would be great.
