Mental health spiraling back down again

rhiannon13 · ‎23-02-2015

I thought my depression and anxiety was getting better, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past year and after agreeing that my mental health was getting back on the right track I've stopped having sessions. That was 2 months ago and the first month leading into the new year I felt so happy and felt like I was slowly escaping it all. But this last month has just had my mental health spiraling back down again and I've found myself in the worst states and I don't know what to do about it. I was taken into hospital last week while on holiday with some friends and thinking back to that night and the mental place I was in scares me so much. I know I need to go back to my doctor but thinking about talking to anyone always makes me so nervous. I'm stuck on what to do and feel as if I've taken 100 steps back and sat at square one again..

Neil_1 · ‎23-02-2015

Hi there Rhiannon

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and providing your post.

The very act of having to go to a Dr and to spiel out a lot of issues that are troubling us can be a very daunting thing and can quite often be a stressor all of its own. So please don’t think you’re on your own with these kinds of feelings.

I’m not sure if you do this at all, but something that I do when visiting either my psych or my doc is that I write down (dot point style) all the things I can think of that are causing me troubles, causing me stress and tension. Just write them down and then you can take that paper with you when you have your next appointment, then the choice is up to you.

You can try to let your doc know about how you’re going ; OR you can refer to the paper if you’re stuck, or just simply read out the dot points; OR you can give your doc the piece of paper and let them go through each dot point.

I also feel better for having done this as if I have constructed this paper over a few days, chances are I will have captured pretty much all that is troubling me at the time. That way you don’t have one of those Homer Simpson “D’OH” moments after your appointment, when you go: “D’oh, I forgot to tell him/her this or that”.

Kind regards

Neil

White_Rose · ‎23-02-2015

Dear Rhiannon

I echo Neil's welcome to Beyond Blue. This is a place where you can "spill your guts" without getting nervous as you cannot see us and vice versa. It's safe and reasonably comfortable.

The sad thing about mental illness is the relapse we all have from time to time. If you have seen the psych recently (2 months ago) then presumably your referral will still be current. What was your relationship like with him/her? Were you able to talk freely? I know how hard it is to return as I have also needed to do that. It makes you feel useless because it seems that all the work you accomplished has vanished.

But take heart. You did get well and you know how good that feels, so that can be an incentive to regain your skills and peace of mind. You have not forgotten how to get well, you have been temporarily swamped by something. This next step will be about recovering from these occasions and moving forward again. And each time it happens you will be stronger and bounce back more quickly.

What is stopping you at the moment is the despair we all feel when we have these times. As you said, you've gone back 100 steps. Well this is not true really, you still have the skills. You have metaphorically fallen over and skinned your knees. It hurts like hell as such injuries do, so you need some first aid to heal the wound and stop it becoming infected.

So even if it hurts to walk, pluck up your courage and get the help you need. I believe you will be surprised at how quickly you will improve. Although I have said "each time this happens" it does not mean your life will be a constant yo-yo of moods. You will learn to recognise what's happening and take the right steps, probably without even realising it after a while.

I wish you well and hope you can continue to post here.

Mary